Showing posts with label Helm of the Fierce Bison. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Helm of the Fierce Bison. Show all posts

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Kubla Matty



HOT-Fab, Limerick style:

There once was a shaman named Matty
Who believed herself to look quite knatty
Though the HOTFB some may mock
She thought she was kind of a jock
Even if the reality was damn tatty



In Azeroth did Mataoka
A Helm of Fierce Bison decree
Where Yan-Zhe the sacred river ran
Though dailies measureless to man
Down to a fatiguing sea

So twice five flight paths of dark soil ground
With dungeons and towers were girdled round:
And here were the gardens filled with herbs and rills*
Where humming violet light of Crystalsong’s tree
And here were forests ancient as the Grizzly Hills,
Enfolding treasures of gear of greenery

But oh! That deep romantic knitted cap which slanted
Down the long brown hair athwart a noggin cover!
A savage place! As holy and enchanted
A e’er beneath a waning moon was daunted
By a woman wailing for her stolen golden clover!

And from this noggin, with ceaseless hubris seething
As if this earth in Borean leather pants were breathing,
A mighty fountain of Sha was forced:
Amid whose swift windshear’d burst
Huge fragments vaulted like dismounted hail
Or chaffy plagued grains in dungeon’s flail;
And ‘mid these dancing elfs at once and ever
It nerfed the hunter’s once-useful quiver.
Five miles meandering with a mazy motion
Through pixels and bytes the sacred river ran,
Then reached the caverns measureless to ogre-man
And sank in tumult, without any breathing potion

And all who hear should see her there,
And all should cry, Beware! Beware!
Her flashing eyes and messed-up hair
Weave a circle ‘round her like Mike Tyson
And close your eyes with holy dread,
For she on bosses’ hides hath fed,
And herald the Helm of the Fierce Bison!

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Magical thinking...

I'm off again to Seattle for most of the day, finding solo activites to pass my time, and am bringing my rusty, sake-spit laptop (that's sock-kay, yes the one I choked on a shot of sake one night and messed up the keyboard).

Seriously - this waking up at 430 or 445 has got to STOP. I know it's a combination of stress, genetics, and well, not sure what else, but it's starting to make me a little bonkers. I mean, damn, I have often joked that in a past life I was a milkmaid, some kind of lowly peasant, but this carry-over is getting on my last nerve. Oh well.

But what cheers me is Navimie wrote a poem about my epic Helm of the Fierce Bison, or my and Tome's HOT-FAB.



The Helm of Fierce Bison's misleading
Won't give me protection I'm needing
It looks cute on my head
But no use if I'm dead
Or lying there crippled and bleeding.



I think there's is a rebuttal in me; hopefully I won't be too sleepy to get it out! I'll sit on a street corner in Seattle, wearing the helm, and see if anything comes to mind!

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Keeping the crazy in...

Pretty much sums up my inner mindset right now.
I was trying to keep it under my hat, but since Tome went and decided to put a Goth Bratz doll and show off her Helm of the Fierce Bison on her blog, well I guess now the story can be told.

Yes, the only souvenir I bought for someone else besides myself or a family member was the Helm of the Fierce Bison for Tome. In turn, she sent me a Spectral Porcupine. It's lovely. It's shiny. It sparkles and makes me happy. When I found the HOTFB - yes, now it shall be the acronym HOT-B, it was in a little shop by the only diner in Yellowstone that had a half-decent burger. I am warning you all now: the food in Yellowstone has much to be desired. Many of the food services are run by privatized companies that know that travelers have no options, consumer voice, or "vote with their dollar" rights. I'm not saying the US Government could have done better, but the food and lodging SUCKS. It's overpriced, small portions, and worse than most school lunches. That's right: WORSE THAN A SCHOOL LUNCH. The cheese fries CD Rogue ordered were covered in something that may at one time been 1% dairy and 99% snot. No joke. When an establishment can't even do fake hot cheese right...we are all truly going to Hell.

Did I mean to go on a rant about privatization of our natural resources? No. Sorry. I'll write my congress people a strongly worded letter. Sure. Right after this next LFR.

Anyway, I bought my own HOTFB at a small shop, and the next day when we were leaving, and I saw how much Tome appreciate my creative millinery mastery, I knew I had to pick one up for her too. I perused the sounvenir shop by our lodge (this is after creepy hotel clerk guy, so I was a little shaken) and the only knit cap was a moose. A moose? A moose will not do. No. Not a moose. MUST BE BISON! I went ahead and purchased the moose, and then --no -- not going to happen -- this is about to turn into the longest, most boring anecdote ever written, and will put such a debuff of ennui and sadness on you all, you will walk around the rest of the day wondering why you wasted your life, and where did it all go horribly wrong?

Fast-forward: it took three clerks to go into the depths of the shop to find another HOTFB, and twenty minutes of wait time. It was worth it though -- every minute. To obtain the HOTFB for Tome, and know that she would wear it in health and hotness while walking her pups, that no one would mess with her, and that like me, wearing this helm would keep THE CRAZY IN...(did you know it did that Tome? It does.).


Tome: I knew you would appreciate it. Now don't tell Blizzard how much you like it, or they'll put it in their hat store, and everyone will want one, and we won't get anything. 


In other news: I went to a "real" raid Tuesday and Wednesday, and might go tonight, with Mataoka as a healer. I am so used to rolling my coins on gear that I accidentally rolled and won the Tortos' shield and it dropped anyway. NOOOOOOOB!

I really like it, and it's way better than LFR, and I know Allysia is being patient with me, but but but...just so much of this game I can't and don't want to do solo, and so many more things I do want to. Better go find my helm, cause the crazy is leaking....

Theme Song: Go It Alone/Beck