Esprit d'escalier: Idioms for idiots

Ah, Les Français.


Leave it to them to come up with the mot juste: esprit d'escalier.


After posting my disappointment in myself over my reaction to one crazy-ass resto shaman, I sat on the couch and did two things. Well, three:


1. Archeology
2. Watched Machete*
3. Drank a glass or two of really good red wine (cross-dressing rogue bought it for me: McManis Family Vineyard 2010 California Vintage Merlot)


...and I thought to myself: I am going about this PUG thing all wrong. Esprit d'escalier essentially means when you think of the perfect comeback "on your way up the stairs as you're going to bed" but it's too late. It's a charming idiom. 


So, just like Guarf's "You can't dispel stupid," I need a handy list of come-backs. Kay's tendency while she's protecting my feelings in PUGs is to get scrappy, but I'm not sure that's the right approach. As I said in another post, a southern friend told the player not to "get ugly." Unless you really understand what a southern insult it is not to 'get ugly,' it doesn't have much punch. What I want to do is not argue or escalate the situation, but make them see how absurd they are being, and at least get a laugh out of it myself. If they end up calming down and not taking themselves so seriously, and perhaps laughing, too, bonus!


Tome recently talked of her customer service experiences. My whole life I have been in 'customer service' in one form or another, from babysitting at age nine, to Chinese restaurant busgirl, to actual customer service with a banking company. Once when I told a lady to "calm down," did I realize why we have training and are taught mirroring-listening techniques. 


So, maybe I should pull those out of the trick-bag, and say things like,
"Oh, so you're feeling vulnerable and scared right now because you feel my tanking is not adequate to protect your inferior skill set?"


or:


"You probably need a hug. I'm sorry your low-level gear caused me to deplete my mana, and you chose not to monitor it, therefore when we really needed them, my cool-downs were on. How does that make you feel?"


or:


"Tell me about your relationship with your mother?" (Can I get all Freudian up in their grill? Or, should I go more Jungian: "The archetypal response to adjusting to hero worship has apparently disconnected with your self-image and dream state. Should I get you an aspirin?"


Today is the Superbowl in the States. Someone will win, and someone will lose, meaning, when in a PUG, remember you are on the same team. (There is a HUGE gulf of logic there, but I'm going to play the Queen of Spades. Just stay with me as I dig myself out of this hole.) The monster or mob is the opposing team. When in a PUG, keep that in mind. Tank/Healer/DPS DPS DPS = same team. As an aside, most likely, I will not be watching it. The next 48-hours involve activities far superior to watching Giants and Patriots. I'll be playing with my own giants and alliances. 


Oh, and yesterday morning when I went to work, my friend taught me another good word, "jefe." It means chief or boss in Spanish. During Machete, someone called a bloated Steven Seagal "jefe," and I felt so proud of myself for my new word. So, from now on, I'm going to tank like a jefe. Watch out. How does that make you feel?


(The writing of this made me laugh and laugh: best mental medicine ever!)


Postscript:
Was doing a search for a T-shirt with that cute draenei on it, but found this:

Those players should have been running.