Sunday, February 27, 2011

The Story of the Grumpy Healer

There is a disorienting effect when you've queued for a random, and the big ENTER DUNGEON pops up, and you're plunked in the dungeon obviously after a fight has ended. This means usually one of two things: Someone disconnected or there was dungeon drama.

Yesterday Mat was witch-house dropped right after the BRC first boss, Rom'ogg Bonecrusher. Mr. Bonecrusher is not a nice boss. Mat has had several experiences with him, some successful, some not. The most successful one was when a skilled paladin gave her a macro to use on the chains that worked beautifully. When she tried to share this macro with some comrades in another run, she was met with some derision. (We all wiped, by the way, though Mat did break free of the chains, but since bosses are not downed alone, well...)

We all know Mat has been working on her DPS. It was fine. She knew this dungeon, and the first obstacle was burnt down. She didn't ask what had happened, and no one offered. But Mat has a key survival skill, and that is to read the mood of a room or group quickly and accurately (another underrepresented stat). She noticed in party chat that one player, she thought was the tank, was being a  critical player - "guess I gotta do it all myself...blah blah blah..." and then she read the chat closer and realized the smack talker WAS THE HEALER. Now she doesn't remember the name or realm, but the image of this beautiful blonde human healer (class? priest? paladin? unsure), talking trash about other people's play and skills was shocking, kind of like if Gwyneth Paltrow started singing country music. (Oh...wait...) Anyway, Mat opened her sweet mouth, and said she thought things went well.

That is when the blonde bully turned to Mat and said: "Tell me where you live because I'm going to come to your house and beat you up after this."

Mat has encountered bullies before. Another survival skill is humor. Weighing Justice/Valor points over a bully's, um, bull, won out. Thinking fast, Mat replied: "Great! Look forward to it! Would you like me to bake you some cookies?"

Perhaps the healer wasn't used to being killed with kindness. But it seemed to soften her up. Yes, indeed "she" (Mat still has an image of Comic Book Guy behind the blonde toon) would like cookies, chocolate chip - Mat: "Ice cold milk, too?" "No, I like juice." Mat: "So you want to get all sugared up?" ...smiley face and a yes....and no more threats.

Sometimes our worst enemies are other players. And they won't all respond to offers of cookies. But you may not want to leave a forwarding address either.

Filing a workman's comp claim on these bosses:

Me and my hunter friend need a dungeon redemption on this one:

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