Sunday, April 24, 2011

Silly rabbit...nobility is for kids!

May have taken it a bit too far this time: what happens when you combine an overachiever, type-A personality with a doable series of holiday quests, and a willing and helpful guildmate? Yes, a one-day title achievement--Mataoka the Noble. 
The only thing real in this photo is the sweat from a million silkworms that made those pajamas...

The morning started off easy enough; do a few dailies, talk to the human, you know...but then, multiplying faster than amorous bunnies, the desire and achievement lust overcame Mat's brain. The bunny ears must have evaporated any and all necessary brain cells she needed to get through Grim Batol safely and more financially stable, or was it the tight-fitting bustier, which is a requirement to serve cocktails in the Grotto, that cut off blood and oxygen circulation to her brain? The only thing missing from the Noblegarden is a Hugh Hefner stand-in, magically pulling in his playmates with cash and Viagra. Or perhaps he was disguised as a troll in Dalaran?

This achievement is not very difficult: the only things that are required are a blood lust for the Strange Trip It's Been meta-achievement, the willingness to push small children players face-down in the spring grass and step on their heads for an egg, a small PvP flagging, death by Horde, and a cross-dressing Orc female. The animalistic libidos of the bunnies come naturally, so "making" rabbits fall in love is a breeze. As far as the "Shake Your Bunny Maker" is concerned, a shameless, no-apologies approach is best: yes, you will need to peddle your tail on the dusty streets of Orgrimmar and throw flowers at Horde players. The concern for that portion is truly over finding female Orc, Tauren, Undead, and Dwarfs...Blood Elf girls are a dime-a-dozen (kind of like Draenei girls, come to think of it). The Undead girl was okay--needed a breath mint, though. The Dwarf girl was a little hard to catch, but her stubby little legs couldn't run that fast. The Orc female was a ringer, but rare indeed. And the Tauren female, a healer, was actually kind of comforting, like a big old dairy cow. But here is the caution: unlike other achievements where you may coordinate with friends to start level one characters on the other side, for this series the female characters must be at least level 18. Wouldn't want any minors at the mansion, you know?
Mat got hit with Hero just before the shutter clicked...but still...damn

The Stormwind Guard is happy to see Mat...
Bunny would spontaneously jump between Mat's hooves...

Next up: For the Children. Stupid orphans. Especially School of Hard Knocks. This means Mat will not be able to hide behind warriors, hunters, and paladins in battlegrounds, but might actually have to do something besides entertain the troops. What do you say, friends? Premades, please?

Theme song: Discovery Channel song....(blush) - look it up yourself

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