Letters to Camp Packabuncha, Texas

Dear Human:
When are you coming back? I mean, I don't want to alarm you or anything, but that warlock, well, her voidwalker got into a bit of a pickle with the local magistrate's daughter, and the guild bank is collecting dust. Sure, it's fine that my cloth cool-downs go to waste, and that my progression to get MY pretty wings from the dragon-boy are held up by the fact I can't pound my halo against PvP, but sure, sure...you have your fun, okay? Don't worry about a thing.
Love,
Zeptepi
PS Can you bring back some of those heavenly pecan cookies? They go right to my hips, but these robes are pretty forgiving...

PPS Send bail money.

Dear Human:
Seriously, you're getting on my last nerve. I'm way out here with these walrus men, and though they're kind, their breath smells like blackened harp seal and I'm sick of picking up wolverine poop or whatever the hell those things are. I am constantly trying to set the tents on fire just to keep warm. I've got a mogging contest to go to, and stuck out here trying to get a damn fishing pole is a waste of my time and talents. I heard there might be an opening on a raid team for a mage, and I need to get ready!
Get your ass home,
Ceniza
PS I mean it.

Dear Human,
I am so jealous--you're out there in big game country--lots of TeaParticus Ruinious Countrious, and  Ignoramious Selfrighteousness - they are so common where you are, the US Department of Fish & Game PAYS hunters to thin out their herds! But whatever, we're cool. George and I will just hang out here on the isle till you get back. Hope you didn't park my tail by a Yongul. That's on you, human.
Love and ammo,
Haanta

(No politicians were harmed, promise.)

Dear Human,
Hope you're having a wonderful time! I'm cooling my hooves at the Brawler's Guild -- so many nice Dwarf gentlemen buying me drinks, having a laugh. I've made a bit of gold betting on 'sure things.' The Dwarfs don't tell me much, but those sweet gnomes are quick to impress me with their inside knowledge. So darling! Am really missing Flex and possibly a Normal this week, and not sure anyone else but me cares, but hey, no worries. Oh, here comes the waiter with another round..see you soon!
Love and kisses,
Matty

Dear Human,
I know that Zeptepi wrote you and is whining about her wings, but don't forget about me, too! Those legendary cloaks don't grow on treants, you know! Oh well, I know you needed to go. Just, one favor okay? Please finish that story, please? You know I love you most of all.
Momo

Dear Human,
Send bail money.
Now.
Kellda