Monday, July 29, 2013

Deep roots.


"All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be the blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king."

J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

For most of the summer, for a variety of reasons, I've been going back to the image of a Jewish gravestone with pebbles on it. I am not Jewish; I think I saw it once in a movie and it always struck me as poignant, like leaving a little prayer or touchstone for the deceased, more permanent than flowers or teddy bears. Sometimes I feel that I am that gravestone; many friends over the years, and strangers, share their burdens with me, their worries, and for the most part, I find the right words to say at the right time, or a helpful amount of listening. We all want to be 'seen.' but not necessarily for who we are, in our weakest state, our moments of greatest self-doubt and fatigue. Sometimes my help goes askew, or misses its mark. If I was a doctor with a Hippocratic oath, I would have broken the "first do no harm."But I am only human, after all.

Sometimes we do feel alone in the noise, the noisiest place of all our own heads. I feel silly running around pretending to be a little pixelized hooven girl when people I know are sick, suffering, and disheartened. I had breakfast with one of my best friends yesterday morning, and a comment has stuck with me, that she believed I had crossed the line between fantasy and reality. She is not one to pull any punches, but always does so with kid gloves. What has been my strength, a source of creativity, has been reading about and spending time in Azeroth.

Anyway, I owe Navi a penny for my thoughts today, but first I must go see the tax man about a few more pennies. Tome, I have written those stories in my head a few hundred times, too. Señor, keep the faith. Thanks you for your patience my friends.

Postscript:
Momokawa thought one more try, before heading back to the Shrine; the hawkstrider failed to materialize, but the Orb of the Sin'Dorei did...yes, this is one bewildered-looking Night Elf in her Bloodelf disguise:

4 comments:

  1. Oh yay! I'm glad the Orb of the Sin'Dorei dropped for you, you look marvelous.

    I'm patient, when the stories are ready to show themselves I'll be waiting.

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    1. Thanks Tome! I love that stuff...whatever can transform or transcend, I'm there!

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  2. It's weird, I've been thinking a lot about grave sites recently. Sometimes I think we must tune into the same wave lengths.

    As for WoW, I take solace in the fact that despite what I have to deal with at work, what I hear and what I see, I can still run around as a careful Nightelf in a game. Grats on the orb, everyone needs a bit of Bloodelf sparkle now and then.

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    1. We could do a cross-blog posts on various graveyards around Azeroth...and yes, a little Belf-bling is always welcome!

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