Sunday, September 16, 2012

Dear Azeroth: Why We Hate to Tank

It's more fun to play warlocks anyway: be careful what you wish for, Azeroth.
Nine times out of ten when I hit the Dungeon Finder the goody bag is up for tanks. Sometimes healers too, but not nearly as often. That bag sure is pretty. It's like a big blue embersilk bag, made of the finest materials, pregnant with the promise of gold, gems, and maybe, a puppy! I have received a mulgore hatchling and a hyacinth parrot while playing Zeptepi healing, but usually just gold and an unnecessary flask for Luperci Who Is Not a Fail Tank. But, like a lottery ticket, it sure does have potential, and since the odds are if Luperci looks, sure enough, the bag is offered.

I put Luperci to the side a while ago. My goal is to have 4000JP for each of my favorite characters by the time Mists hits. Mataoka is there, and so is Luperci: Zeptepi isn't far behind, the trailers being Ceniza and Momokawa. Momo is still stubbornly refusing to go into LFR after umpteen thousand failed final platforms. I was looking around at some items for Luperci, and spent some of her JP on HP things, and to make up the deficit, saw sure enough, goody bag meets time - off we go.

The new protection paladin set up is still a bit of a mystery to me, but only because I haven't spent any time studying it, and it seemed unnecessarily confusing before, and more simple now. In other words, at first glance, the changes of simplification seem good. And, like a good little paladin, if I see a druid in the group, I hit Blessings of Might.

I am quickly told that because there is a shaman in the group, my blessing is superfluous due to shaman mastery.* Not the word he used, but you get the idea. I asked why, to no answer. In fact, any question I asked this little warrior, or the group, was met with stony silence. They were having a grand conversation with the mage about his combustion. So imagine walking into a car show and everyone is talking hemis and carburetors, and you just want to know about tires.

The rogue fight, and the smoke, and the slow movement out, etc. Little warrior jumps right in and pulls the boss the second she drops to the ground, and though I was ready and pulled her too, he dies a few seconds later, and then of course, it's my fault, can't hold aggro, can't do anything right, etc. Tanks suck, blah blah blah, and then another player pipes in and says "Well he's better than the other 14 I've had today."

I am wondering: at what point does a player perhaps look in the mirror and stop blaming others? Oh, you wacky generation of no accountability and it's someone else's fault: I blame your parents. (See what I did there?) They told you it was the coach's fault for benching you. Or the teacher's fault for your F. Or your mother's fault. Or your father's fault. But maybe, just maybe, if you were the tank and pulled the boss, little warrior, you would have been okay? And maybe, just maybe, little warrior, if you weren't the tank and pulled the boss with your mighty aggro and died, it just might be your fault? Ain't gonna bubble azzhats, sorry.

And--why is it ALWAYS WARRIORS?!?!


Well, it's his repair bill, not mine. I got 74 gold out of the goody bag, and an inferno ruby.

BUT--that tale of griping leads me back to my original question: what is it about shamans and mastery now? How have the totem changes affected shamans? Anyone want to weigh in and give me their thoughts on this? I'm seriously considering going more full-time restoration on Mataoka, and would love to know your thoughts:

*Resto Shaman Mastery, Pandarian Style:

Theme Song: See It No Other Way/Slighty Stoopid
Theme Song II: Handlebars/Flobots

Postscript: Maybe I'll start kicking warriors out of hand in Portuguese. Going to make my macro now:

Parar de puxar o chefe, ou eu vou chutar.

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