Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Dinner time.

Read this creative writing prompt a few weeks ago, and I'm paraphrasing: "You are in the grocery store. Which character, from what novel, would you least like to see there?"

Well, duh. Dr. Hannibal Lecter. (Or would that be the BEST place to see him?!)

But let's take this one step into Azeroth: "What would your toon's grocery store cart contain?"

Peeking into the shopping and eating habits of my fellow friends around Stormwind, there would be quite a variety. In a gnome's basket, carelessly tossed would be plenty of blueberries, Skittles, and peanuts in the shells. (They get a little fidgety, those gnomes, and need food like peanuts to shell and sunflower seeds to crack.) Warlocks never step foot in common grocery stores, but visit vineyards for the deepest, reddest Cabernets and Burgundies. Priests, in shadow form, will walk five miles in the rain for pralines'n'cream Mexican vanilla ice cream. In healing form, priests drink cold Dr. Pepper and eat Slim-Jims. (I have this on good authority.) Mages...depending upon their mood, will never pass up hot coffee with sugar, no cream. Keeps them edgy and sweet. Human paladins will walk over their shields for s'mores, so don't be surprised to see Jiffy Puff marshmallows, Hershey chocolate bars and graham crackers. Those items will be hidden under artichokes, apples, and organic juices. (They put on a good front with eating healthy, but those marshmallows are there...) Druids eat way too many stoner foods: Doritos, Nutella, and Twister red licorice. Hunters are more concerned that their pets aren't drinking out of the toilets than their own nutrition. Dwarfs are around back putting the beer keg in their trunks. Death Knights are found lurking around the butcher, looking for as much bloody red meat as they can afford. And shamans? When weather and elements are constantly barraging one's horns, a shot of tequila will help. Otherwise, lots of sake, sushi, and cocktail shrimp. Shamans are suckers for seafood. Oddly, they also buy huge containers of honey from warehouse stores, too, and wonder why. Who needs that much honey?*

*Mat has drunk over 430 honeymint teas. That explains it.

These are just a handful, a serving size, of eating and drinking achievements. These are as easy to do as keeping a Twinkie fresh:

Cataclysmically Delicious: http://www.wowhead.com/achievement=5753/cataclysmically-delicious
Drown Your Sorrows: http://www.wowhead.com/achievement=5754/drown-your-sorrows
Happy Hour Somewhere: http://www.wowhead.com/achievement=1833/its-happy-hour-somewhere
Second that Emotion: http://www.wowhead.com/achievement=1780/second-that-emotion

Theme song: Everybody Eats When They Come to My House: Cab Calloway

1 comment:

  1. Bacon, and jalapenos?



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