|How could I possibly not laugh? Heartichoke finds herself in an awkward spot…the Tauren felt oddly cheered up...|
Oh, my poor friends and loved ones.
I am so sorry.
And apologies to my Southern Hemisphere friends: this is completely another Northern-centric concept. As you are all beginning to enjoy spring into summer, we selfish folks up north are behaving badly. I am reflecting on two Novembers, this year's and last, and realizing I need to get help, or at least take some Vitamin D. And when I say November I was thinking about an ugly incident that happened last year around this same time when I had a hissy fit, and frustration and hubris ( not mine, others) got the better of me. This year was no different. My Thanksgiving weekend began with children fighting (and blood, not mine), tears, and yes, perhaps sweat: we warn ourselves every year here in the States that the beginning of the holiday season is stressful, everyone feels it, and though I am actually pretty damn happy and grateful, somehow the Sha of Excess takes us over. We watch angry, trashy mobs hit each other over consumer goods during the Black Friday shopping, and start to get 'wish lists' from relatives. CD Rogue and I even got a request from relatives that, in just the asking, caused no small amount of angst. You think Penn and Teller can do magic? Just try to see behind the curtain on the team of Guilt and Resentment: now that's a show!
|See that dark side? Me.|
And this is soooo wussy of me - but I also think I may have a small case of S.A.D. To me, it's always been one of those 'made up' maladies, one of those 'get the smelling salts' things. I love autumn, and October is one of my favorite months, so when I finally admitted how damn cranky and teary I realized November is, CD Rogue fairly shouted and said, "SEE! I TOLD YOU FALL SUCKS!" There's not a lot of room for discussion in CD Rogue's world. I can love autumn and still cry big, gloopy tears you know, sheesh!
I get very needy/clingy, too, and then spiral out because I hate myself for being needy/clingy. My poor guildmate Señor got an earful, when after he worked for probably, gee, I don't know, about forty days in a row, and I could just hear the "WTF is wrong with her?" It's okay, my friend. It's not your fault I am a tiny bit crazy, not at all. I mentioned my dear friend had a birthday, and I wrote this short but poignant letter to her. After not hearing from her for a week, I sent her a text asking if the letter upset her, and she said no, she loved it, but was extremely busy, even more so than usual. Mmmkay. Women especially love to play the game of "Queen of the Busy," and I can't tell her, "Well, I have six level 90s, and and and, I need to get some Valor Points, and and and…" No, that won't fly. My brand of busy is very different from everyone else I know. And after posting pics of myself from Blizzcon, not sure what I was expecting there either. That folks would say, "Wow, Matty, you sure don't look like you're (insert age here)! Tome, thanks, cause I needed that compliment. And Navi and Erinys, too - thank you with all my heart. It's awful to say, but sometimes I can't hear it enough, and that makes me feel weak. And this is weird, but for months my Achille's tendons have been in great pain. I can walk, but it hurts. I blame bad shoes, but this is at the point of a doctor visit. My right foot's tendon is inflamed and the left is right behind it. Get it? See what I did there? Never mind. But whatever minor health stuff I have it never compares to what CD Rogue goes through, or others I know of. I just think it's odd that it's the Achille's…the legendary point of weakness for any hero. Pisces are known for their feet woes; we're meant to have mermaid's tails. This land-lubbering hurts.
I always have such good intentions for these breaks, (breaks I am extremely grateful for). Perhaps these high expectations doom me because there is no way to get everything done single-handedly. Everyone in the Matty-shack has his own agenda, and sometimes those are incongruent to mine. For example, young leet druid asked why we don't have these big meals more often, they don't seem like that big of a deal. His timing was a bit off since I was on my 8th dishwasher load in as many hours it seemed. No, it actually isn't a big deal to remember to thaw a turkey, to remember to order the damn thing in the first place, to remember to take out the gizzards and the other junk, and to remember to NOT PUT butter on TOP of the damn thing that will slide off halfway through cooking onto the bottom of the oven and fill the entire house with butter-smoke. (Yes, I put butter under the skin, too, mom…yes, this just seemed like a good idea…no, the butter sliding off onto the bottom of the stove and not into the GIANT roasting pan seems weird…).
Okay, so where am I now? Woke up too early - check. Made hot coffee…check. Wrote a self-indulgent post - cross that one off! Now to do something else. I know! There's a little neglected Death Knight who could use some love - I'll see what I can do.
Postscript: I want to make this a BlogAzeroth topic: What do you do instead of cursing the darkness/light a candle things in Azeroth? How do you chase the blues away?