Saturday, January 21, 2012

White & Strunk Style Guide for WoW Blog Writers

Found myself completely flummoxed when Tome recommended this blog to Big Bear, and oh my, feeling a little flushed…got a comment! Big Bear Butt is Azerothnian famous for his wit and writing. Haven’t felt this reaction since I thought I spotted Brendan Fraser on Hollywood and Vine.* I’m already crazy about Tome, second only to this darling Death Knight in the Dwarf District.

And as I reached for my fan and smelling salts, I read through some of the other blogs recommended to Sir Bear, and they’re indeed, wonderful.

Few things: yes, this is a “but.” Not a big bear butt, but a but nonetheless.

It freaked me out when I found a typo on a post that several readers were viewing.

First, how do I know they were viewing it? Because Blogger has Stealthy-Stalker Tracking abilities and I can see who is on what where when, and yes, even how. How else would I get gems like “firestarter cougar, surreal panties, or sexy bowflex girls?”

As you can see, I was incapacitated to do a damn thing about it. In fact, this brings up a bigger issue: at my work, I am not able to do anything about my blog, either. Besides, I’m too busy being a lion tamer. Work what’s kept me happy.

So, ran out of the house like a crazy woman, fixed the typo, and tried to recover from the trauma.

But in his wise way, Bear said, “No one cares about the typos but the writer.”

Word, bro. That is true. But circling around back to Tome’s request on what we do in real life, caring about typos and editorial snafus is important to me. But let me be very clear: Bear is right. I don’t really care about other people’s typos or grammatical errors. I truly. Really. Don’t.

And—here is my surprise: others don’t seem to care about my mistakes either. No one has, to date, ever corrected one thing in a comment about my blog. My cross-dressing rogue speculated that perhaps the blogging community is a bit more lenient toward one another. I think he’s right. We writers are also readers, and we know that if anyone is putting forth an effort, we’re just grateful. Bloggers, typically, tend to be a prolific bunch, who* are inspired, impulsive, and verbal: the triple threat to creation of typos.

So, thank you for your grace and forgiveness of my typos. I promise you will never be harder on my errors than I am on myself. And every time you read one, know that somewhere, “Matty’s” human counterpart is dying a little bit inside until she can get home and fix it.”

Having said all that, I am compelled to provide a few tips for those of you who do want to improve your conventions of grammar:

Dwarf: plural is “dwarfs.” That's Tolkien's call, not mine. 
Capitalization of WoW races: I would state that any common noun that becomes a proper noun in a context should be capitalized. I have not always followed this rule myself.
When to use “who versus whom: if you would replace the pronoun with “him” it should be “whom”
*See above? The pronoun refers to the antecedent, “Bloggers.” Bloggers would become “they” and not “them” ergo “who” and not “whom.” Grammar check wanted me to make it “which” which I didn’t agree with because Bloggers is a plural noun of writers (humans), not an inanimate object, and grammar-bot just didn’t recognize with its supreme artificial intelligence this noun would be a “who” and not a “which.”
Lay, Lie, Laid: Oh boy. I have spent much analysis over this, although grammatical acrobats make it look easy, it’s not, and in my opinion, will be one of those grammar rules that will relax over time because no one is going to give a shit.

If you are doing the laying to something else: lay
Example: “I lay Jaina’s staff on the coffee table, next to the Nat Pagle book.”
If you are doing to the lying: lie
Example: “The druid will lie down and put a warm washcloth over her head after reading this post.”

We versus Us: This one does kind of vex me, maybe because it was drilled into my brain in sixth grade. Same with "I" versus "me." 

It’s not “woah,” it’s “whoa.”
It’s not “yea” for “yeah”

Onomatopoeia: free reign. Spell “skidooushspukungizzle” any way you wish. (That is the sound burning hooves make when stepping in felfire.)

And if you think I’m making this crap up, then please go to the expert:
The Oatmeal (I have all of his grammar and punctuation posters, including the one with the barfing panda)

PS Tome, I notice I call you "Tome" and not "Ancient." The reason for this is because I do not believe you are the object of a preposition, but an object of admiration. If I am incorrect in this presumption, please set me straight.

*That is a complete fabrication. If I thought I saw Brendan Fraser, would I still be sitting here writing? I think not.
**It's supposed to be Strunk & White. I changed it because, you know, whole parallel universe thing?


  1. At last: Someone FINALLY understands...

    1. Thank you for two reasons: I appreciate it, and it brought me to

  2. (Stupid smart phone)...brought me to your writing!

  3. Anonymous22.1.12

    I tend to feel relieved when I see typos, I'm not the only one. But my crimes against grammar go farther. I tend to use some punctuation because I like the way it "looks" with no regard to whether it belongs there, sigh. No hope for me. I do that with links too because I think it makes the post look festive.

    I have a very unique, and to me, horrible real life name so I never mind what anyone calls me. I mean as long as it's not THAT.

    Blogspot, whatever I've done I said I was sorry!


  4. I am just grateful you didn't say "Just don't call me late for dinner."

    And know that when I say "Tome" I do think of Ton Loc, you funky cold medina, you!


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