Dear Matty: Run For Your Virtual Life Edition

Dear Matty:
I am in the market for a new guild. This comes after a few years of playing, meeting others in Azeroth, and a lot of false starts. I just can't seem to attract other players who have the same goals I do, or who can be accommodating to my schedule and real-life responsibilities. The other issue is, well, there are some creeps out there. Every one seems so nice at first, but then they turn on me. Case in point: one Guild Master locked me out of the guild bank when I took some wool cloth out of the shared tabs page to level my First Aid. He said I should have asked first, even though it was the shared tabs page, and I had contributed most of the cloth. G-kick. Another time, I was healing on a ten-man, and the raid leader kept confiding in me about how awesome this other healer was, but her husband was part of the package, and the husband was a terrible tank. So not only was I left feeling insecure about my own position on the team, I realized the raid leader would not hesitate to talk about ME behind my cape. Another time I befriended a congenial little Forsaken, only to be stalked to the ends of the world with "Whatcha doing? Whatcha doing? Whatcha doing?" and then never any further social input. Awkward. Matty, these are only a fraction of the stories of the social awkwardness, stalk-iness, and subterfuge that has been my experience in Azeroth. I just want to be on a ten-man, derp, and laugh once in a while, and not have to take out restraining orders and being scared every time I put someone on the ignore list. Is that so much to ask?

Signed,
Woeful Worgen

Dear Woe:

There is not a single player in World of Warcraft who cannot relate to part of your story. Wait, I take that back. The ones who can't relate are the ones perpetrating these social atrocities: the creeps, stalkers, divas, ninjas, backstabbers, and "I forgot to take my pill" folks. There was one time a girlfriend of a player friend had a violent episode over his time playing with me. Yikes. And in this day and age, unfortunately, and tragically, one cannot be too careful. The phrase "trust your instincts" has never had more power. I believe we all go into Azeroth with a wide-eyed innocence -- look! Just look at all these players who want to be here too, in this beautiful and exciting place, and play! Yet, alas, what people do in their real lives carries over to the virtual one, for ill, but also for good. It is not too much to ask that you find a guild that will be like-minded, and share your goals, too. But like love--it can take time. I would say be honest with yourself, and determine what you can and cannot tolerate. Some of these things include the obvious, such as racism, homophobia, bullying, harassment, overt sexual stalking, etc., but they go to the other end of the spectrum, too, such as consistent miscommunication, undermining, and perhaps the most dangerous of all: unclear expectations.

It's really too bad we can't see if a player has a monkey tattoo such as the one in the video. If we could only see what an ass they are ahead of time, it would sure save a lot of trouble. Since this is the virtual world, we all must set our own clear expectations, and then honestly, and transparently, (and paradoxically) tell others how to treat us in this opaque virtual one. I think we could all learn from successful Role Players in Azeroth: IC or OOC. Are we in character, or out of character? And if one's "in character" is being an asshat, then it's time to say goodbye, and not look back. Unless your avatar is a doormat, don't let others scrape their sabatons on you.