Stories and Drabbles: Links to the fiction postings on this blog
Saturday, May 18, 2013
Mr. Snerggulls Returns
The shaman started to get glassy-eyed. "But Mr. Snerguls, sir, she's the IRONSALLY! She's awesome! She's kind, funny, and self-effacing, and and and IRONSALLY! I couldn't even get past level 9...And I love reading her, too -- everyone does!"
"That's my point, hornhead! Folks dug this little gazette, too, but lately--well, our numbers have significantly dropped. This ain't no non-profit, moonbeam. I've got 12,345 spawn to feed. You're no Terry Gross or Ira Glass. Folks ain't lining up to read, and you ain't getting paid by the character count."
Mataoka thought this would not be a good time to mention she wasn't getting paid at all...
"So, let's take a look: you're splitting infinitives, transitions are tiresome, syntax is superfluous, raconteur redundant, your spell check is broken, and grammar nonexistent, and I think you lost your Azerothian Aegis Style Manual, 33rd Edition, didn't you?"
"I accidentally deleted it from my bank, sir. When I was finding room for my..."
"Kid, you got no style. If I don't see some fresh ink soon, well, the only words you'll be producing will be 'you're fired' on a pink slip."
Mataoka wiped her eyes. She knew it was the truth. No murloc news is good murloc news. She wish Mr. Snerggullls had stayed on vacation with the goblins. He came back smelling of fish stew and cigar ash. Not pleasant.
"Look, happyhorns, I don't want to let you go. Come back in a few hours with some ideas, all right, totemcheeks? I'll be down at the pub pumping down a few fortifiers, if you catch my drift there."
Mataoka put a request up in trade chat: WTB Muse.
No response yet, but queue times vary.