|"Lady Katrana" is now known as Siri.|
This is a true story. On Friday, after a long, but sunny, week, I was driving home, and needed to tell C.D. Rogue my expectations about some things. You know - one of "those" messages. I don't talk on the cell phone and drive, not only because it's a $200 fine, but it's deadly. I don't want to die. I don't want to kill anyone else. Go figure. Fortunately, I have Siri by my side! With the press of a button, she will take dictation, and send the missive on its way. I talked. I hit send. And do you know what that little electronic bitch told me? She spouted back a long quote with the passive-aggressive subtext that MY MESSAGE WAS TOO WORDY! Yes, all caps, YES I am yelling now. Deep breath. Deeeeep breath. This has to be some kind of an i-phone joke. We all know Steve Jobs had a sense of humor, right? Try again. It was one of those messages that could not be edited. If I didn't say what I wanted to say hurt feelings would abound. Well, my feelings anyway. She then proceeds to quote Thomas Effing Jefferson to me, TO ME! About clarification and brevity and blah blah blah. I realize the man wrote one of the greatest pieces in all of history, the Declaration of Independence, but gee whiz, Siri! Cut me a break! If there was ever a moment I wanted to chuck a $400 phone out the window of my broken-down truck, that was it. Cooler head (I only have one) prevailed, and I dictated a shorter message, fuming, and sure enough, all of my expectations and hopes did not materialize. Siri cut me off.
Okay. Rage at the machine. Fine.
But this incident inspired reflection on my part: am I too wordy? Undeniably, yes. I read back through some previous posts and thought to myself, "Why would anyone in their right mind read one thing here?" Siri's right. C.D. Rogue is right. I talk too damn much.
Some squires and damsels were explaining to me the other day that when they post "TBH" on a Facebook post, the To Be Honest is their way of giving each other unadulterated compliments. Sometimes anyway. To hear what they want to hear. TBH, you're awesome! TBH, you don't look fat! Etc. So is this my TBH post? Want you all to tell me, "No, Matty, you're funny! You're great! Keep up the good work!" Well, it's okay. I know I talk too much. Color me logorrhea.
If you read my accomplishments feed, you might infer that I am working on the Salty title. I am indeed. I've wanted to be Salty Ceniza for some time, and have grand plans on starting a character named Pretzel. Maybe. It's been a lot of fun. I only need a few more coins (a follow-up post on those coins is in the future...) and got my tail thoroughly handed to me in the fishing tourney. Third place? Hell, more like 245th. Cross-realm zones, I Love You! But I'll get there.
Mr. Snerrggggulllls has been on vacation, and hasn't done right by me in the editing department. Sorry about all the TL:DR posts. Whatever.