First - for a split second, I admit - I was fooled. Let it be known I hate April Fool's Day - had a "joke" played on me yesterday that resulted in serious consequences. Remember when I said my job is sometimes potentially dangerous? I wasn't kidding. Anyway, I confess: this image got me for a second.
But then, the deeper, more disturbing emotions set in. And a touch of anger, too. Anger at myself, and others. This is a circle-back laundry list of whatever - if you dare say "QQ" --just. Don't.
I felt the odd and not-so-tingly sense of shame. Shame on myself for wanting and loving playing a character model that is considered by most sexually beautiful. Shame on myself for feeling so sad that they gave her a weak chin, cellulite, small hooves, and palsied gait. And most of all-shame on the jokesters who thought that by showing something that doesn't fit in the standard models of "beauty" that is would be "funny." Efff you. And me, too: that I would be hesitant to proudly play this "new" model, one who reminds me too much of pear-shaped women and pre-plastic surgery chins. I truly think all the models in Azeroth, all the races, have a unique beauty to offer - but my Draenei females --they are my characters who still embody sexuality, wisdom, and strength. Those characteristics did not include, in my schema, cellulite.
CD Rogue loves me. He loves my Rubenesque physique. But be clear: there are never any demands for how I look, my habits of life, or control in any way. Probably because he knows if he gave me gruff for having an ice cream sandwich or being too exhausted to go for a walk he would be a grease puddle on the floor. Besides, he's too busy dealing with his own health issues to worry about mine. I don't use him as my measuring stick when I take stock of my physical and mental well-being or attributes. I know when I need to lose some weight, I know how to eat right, and I know when stress tips my abilities over to the red zone, and what to do about it (mostly have a good cry and get those toxins out).
True confidence and beauty, the understanding and truth of them, tend to come to us later in life. But I really admire this generation who, by and large, see beauty in a different light and define it for themselves:
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| Flaws are okay. |
*The logic is since most bloggers read Tome and have her awesome blog on their blogroll, and she is one of the sweetest, funniest friends I have in and out of Azeroth, I'm claiming sweetness by association.
I did wonder what you thought of the Draenei models joke. now I know /hugs
ReplyDeleteThanks, Navi. Admitting shame is tough, but necessary. Interesting to hold that mirror up to myself.
DeleteAbsolutely! Azeroth is no place for cellulite, we can have that right here. We are all living our fantasies whether it be playing an amazing beautiful Draenei or in my case being able to turn into a cat or bear or bird. And you're sweet to me!
ReplyDeleteThose fantasies are why we play. Where else can I be a sad and tragic Forsaken? Or a Druid with freedom to be as one with nature, or a human who uses the forces of shadow, bent to her will? And you're pretty sweet to me too! :)
DeleteYeah, at first it's funny but then you realise that what they wanted, what they WERE AFTER, was a rise from the gullible (mostly male) player base who would be upset that their sexual objectifications were being taken away from them. That they were holding up the mirror to show player's misogyny when it comes to beauty standards, but weren't doing so for any social justice reason: it was just to get a laugh from it.
ReplyDeleteThe worst part is that not only were they laughing at the gullible players, they were laughing at women who share one or more attributes with the "new" draenei ladies. It's pretty horrible.
On the other hand, I don't think it reflects badly on you that you want to play a sexually beautiful character. The main problem in the industry (both in regular games AND MMOs) is that you are pretty much ONLY given sexually beautiful options when it comes to female designs. The weird dichotomy with Blizzard is that they aren't terrible with their female model diversity (especially with panda ladies now), yet they keep pulling shit like this to remind us that they still don't get that women are real people too, with feelings and diverse body shapes and looks.
Can't wait to see what ACM has to say about it. Should be a doozy.
Indeed! Was thinking about her. I appreciate you saying it's okay that I want to be 'beautiful' in game, and I know you understand I appreciate all the characters. Funny how they didn't play a joke with a "beer belly Draenei male with ED." I wouldn't have laughed at that either, though, and called bullshit on that too. Ah well. Someday.
DeleteThis is just my opinion, for what it's worth and all: But I don't think you should be at all ashamed for loving your beautiful draenei and wanting to play a beautiful character. I think that's one of the things fantasy is about.
ReplyDeleteI do think Blizzard should be a little bit ashamed of the disparity in the attractiveness of male and female characters in the game. But that's a conversation for another time.
I do love the female draenei as they are and if I had believed for a second that that was anything other than a joke I would have been fairly heartbroken myself that my little Ailuuya was going to go from being a tall, dignified, lovely woman to looking like a goat.
Thank you for this comment - not sure what they were thinking with this one, but it did give me a lot to think about (whether I wanted to or not!)
DeleteThe first thing I thought, looking at that "new" face, was, "if they do this to my face, they sure as heck better give me a free character customization with the new models!" because I'm using that "before" face for Kaprikka (or at least, one of the faces that looks very close to it).
ReplyDeleteThen after I'd looked at the rest of it, I knew it was a joke. I was only mildly amused at best and thought it was somewhat in bad taste.
That's a good way to phrase it - agreed
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