Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Revenge, pixels, and trying to be all Zen about it

This is, sadly, an all too common of a tale these days.

Tome recently posted her Unwritten Rules of WoW, and again she has found the nugget of truth by which we all have dug up. And it ain't gold.

I will try my damndest to be succinct, but not sure if brevity is the soul of nerd rage.

Yesterday morning, I overheard two young warriors speak of spending four hours "beating" a game. We all know that the never-ending of saga of Azeroth cannot be "beaten," not even by death of a character (aside from Ironfolks).

Let me tell you how I spent wasted four hours:

Monday seems to be "Lupe's Day." Whatever Valor Point I have easily capped on the other girls, sometimes, that poor little tank is left far behind.

Go into LFR, The Worms Phase. Easy, breezy, healed, holy'ed, all is well.

Go into LFR, The Cockroaches.


All the good players are playing D3 are or off fishing before the next release. They no longer need the pain of LFR, and like I always, inevitably am, a day late and dollar short, and still want to get valor points and goodies for Lupe. It's my own fault, I know. But how hard can it be?

There were no less than 3 to 4 wipes because of players not single-targeting the bloody tentacles.

One, I can see. But that many?


Guarf comes on to play D3.

Then-- then Kasarrah happened.

He's the one. He's the one who thinks he's outsmarted the system, and like Bear's encounter, queued as Holy Paladin, never touched a healing spell, Ret'ted his way, pulled the boss and wiped the raid umpteen times. His friend Jinjak was in on it, too.

I queued, requeued, many, many times. I just needed the last boss. That's it. Just wanted to see if I could get a better weapon than what I was using. Nothing more. Asked him to stop, and he told me he would roll on the loot and DE in front of my eyes. He had a blast.

Now--what's to be done?

Young leet Druid tells me, "Matty, stop playing that game! Blizzard is broken! Play D3!"

Yes, that part of Azeroth is broken, and we have all known it.

But I did not cry, I did not pout. But I was fanciful: "Kasarrah, My Name is Mataoka of Whisperwind. You Killed My Time. Now Prepare to Wipe."

Well, okay fantasy revenge scenes aside, it's this simple. I like LFR. Blizz, make it so only the tanks can start the raid. If another player pulls the boss, he is automatically kicked, or cannot roll on loot. Period. Simple. He gets no VP, or loot. It's a simple fix. No matter how many players report the Kasarrahs of the world, nothing will change until the pixels do. Take away what gives them pleasure, that's all. They need a BIG FAT TIME OUT.

And a spanking. Not the fun kind, either, you sick monkeys.

So--after my eighth or eleventh attempt, I gave up, and started a Witch Doctor and played with Guarf. Her name is Mammawatta (Voodoo--will change to correct spelling -- I was tired last night).

I have some mighty strong mojo, ye Boss-Pulling Mo-Fos. I would tell you get a life, but that is, pitifully, your life now.


  1. I realize the comment on. Guard coming on to play is a non-sequitur: the thought should have been continued to state I asked to wait a few moments while I finished Lupe's LFR run. Famous last words.

    1. Damn these fat fingers: "on Guarf" not on. Guard.

  2. One of the many reasons why my ignore list is so damn long. Yeah, it makes my queue a little bit longer, but the fact that I have less and less jackassery to deal with every time is a blessing.

  3. Reading this makes me a sad panda. I wish blizzard could make LFR rep so those trolls could get voted down.

    1. It's just that people in the world delight so much over their "power" to ruin it for everyone, and it's such a simple fix. It's not like Blizzard doesn't know what their pixels are up too--every bleep and bing is measured! Why not a player who queues as a healer, never hits a healing spell, and then gets reported? Why not have only the tanks have the ability to pull a boss? Such simple fixes--if a thief keeps getting in your house, you'd buy a better lock, wouldn't you? I think Blizz owes me a healing mace and some valor points at least, as well as the rest of the group. The real world is annoying enough--don't want my virtual one to be.


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