And that's a true story.

http://www.wired.com/gamelife/2010/12/world-of-warcraft-catastrophes/?pid=717&viewall=true

What's in a (guild) name?

Would a guild by any other name smell as sweet?

Do not be fooled by the stubbornness that a set of horns may conjure: I can be as indecisive as a spring breeze. For instance, consider our guild name: Ever Thus To Deadbeats.

We in the guild did not make this decision lightly: it speaks to both our human and super-human interests. Azeroth is full of tyrants and deadbeats, and its demanding, exhaustive, endless grinding of truth and justice seeking blah blah blah never ends. There is always one more oppressor to strip, one more monster to slay, and one more rug to, well, you know. Micturate on.

We are a small but hearty guild. We are loyal and true. Our mission is to enjoy the world, gain favor, achieve success, and have fun while doing so. We cannot begin to compete with some of the mega-guilds such as Alea Lacta Est or some of these others.

Guilds, large and small, and every shade in between, have a story behind their name. Though we have our own little story, I have driven guildies to distraction by thinking out loud what it would be like to have a different one. Some of the ones I have considered are:

• Loyalist Scum: a hordie friend liked this idea so much they used the patent.
• Revenant: Revenant means back, especially from the dead. Here is a quaint Visual Thesaurus definition:

He's Back! Word of the Day:

Three hundred and fifty years ago today, Oliver Cromwell, one-time Lord Protector of England, was executed. This was not so unusual for the time, except that he had already been dead more than two years; his corpse was disinterred and subjected to various humiliations by political enemies. In honor thereof, we salute revenant, a noun and adjective pertaining to those who return after some time, especially from the dead.

We were Misunderestimated for years, until one day, while walking in the pre-Cata sunshine of downtown Stormwind, I spotted some young jackanape-hooligan sporting OUR SAME GUILD NAME but with typographical accents! The audacity! Flattery is one thing, but way to spoil the mood.

I keep a running list and every so often burst out, "Hey, that would be a funny guild name!" and then am reminded of the little engines who could who have spent their time and energy leveling up the new guild to its current cozy state. I have personally been whispered several compliments on the name, which brightens my weary day.

So, now we are thumping Deadbeats. And proud of it. And obviously you are not a golfer. (And I can imagine if you Wordle'd this website what the largest word would be.)


Some of the guild names that spark curiosity (?) are:

No Chicks Allowed: Is this akin to the old-school "He Man Woman Haters Club?" Wonder what prompted that outburst. And, how do they really check? Are they going to look under players' robes? What if that draenei stuff her chestpiece with wool? Doesn't DADT work in Azeroth?

Rocket Surgery: Very, very clever. Because this is neither rocket science nor brain surgery, is it?

Sleepless Knights: That's just cute.

We Know Girls: With their charm and creativity, I am certain they do. Check out their website.


Specifically on Whisperwind: http://www.wowprogress.com/pve/us/whisperwind


http://us.battle.net/wow/en/blog/2113741


Ever thus: http://ask.metafilter.com/42582/Ever-thus-to-deadbeats-Lebowski


Very interesting Patch Notes: http://us.battle.net/wow/en/blog/2011384
Pop Culture references in WoW: http://www.wowwiki.com/List_of_pop_culture_references_in_Warcraft

My own little pie chart: http://www.wowprogress.com/character/us/whisperwind/mataoka

Duck, Duck, Goose

As a tiny Draenei child in Azuremyst, I played a game called Duck, Duck, Goose...we would sit in a circle, and one would be "It," and It would walk around the circle, lightly tapping the other players on the head (if one was a little girl, or a bit more aggressive if one was a boy) saying with each hit "duck." At some spontaneous moment, It would decide who would be "Goose," thump them, and run away to Goose's spot before Goose could catch them. If It was not caught, Goose would become It, and the cycle would repeat itself. The skill lay in Its ability to run with a great deal of lean and centrifugal force, and Goose's skills were simply being ready to go.

Whoa. Never had to explain a game of Duck, Duck, Goose before. 

And while my personal skills in D-D-G were never equalled, (having retired champion of the Chronakai Kristo Day School for D-D-G and bloody games of Red Rover, Red Rover) my language skills sometimes cause confusion and misdirection -- but not intentionally.

Two of my favorite friends in the World speak the human language Spanish. While in a dusty old dungeon the other day, I asked one of them if we were going to go kill the next "dos patrons," thinking I'd be clever. 

I typed "dos patos." Yes, we were going to kill two more ducks. 

This is NOT a duck:

However - in the future, when I am feeling intimidated by the big, bad patrons, I am just going to imagine them like this:

And serve them with a nice orange sauce. 



Side notes:
And while there is an aviary: turkeys, chickens, parrots, etc., there are no ducks as far as anyone can tell in Azeroth. 

In the human world, there are an estimated over 6,000 spoken languages: http://anthro.palomar.edu/language/language_1.htm.

Consider this does not take into account codes, symbols, icons, computer language, animal communication, music, art, dance, or body language (one of the most powerful languages of all - perhaps the most powerful and understood). 

And what the heck does Chronakai Kristo mean anyway? Some things just can't be translated: http://www.wowwiki.com/NPC_quotes

But I carry light within me. Naturally.

Drinks with Dwarves

See those little gas bubbles coming out of my mouth? In about ten minutes I'm going to ruin the upholstery on my drake from spewing Wildhammer ale when the buff runs out. This is one of my new favorite dailies; much more entertaining than killing poor restless souls or perhaps even Polishing the Helm (which is a fun title, but not really a fun daily- pretty sticky). Okay, That's Abominable! was damn fun, too, even if I did get formaldehyde on my boots.

If you want to play a fighting and drinking game in the World, check out Fight Like a Wildhammer. Bring a baggie.

Corla's Bad Day

I read this post before enough coffee: http://www.wowction.com/2010/12/14/corla-herald-twilight-cataclysm/

and it hurt my head

...but watching it, it made a little more sense. Perhaps I can get this one off of my Quest Log soon.

Morphing Morphemia...

Sometimes I wonder if I'm dead or alive. I live in a Morpheus dream-state; Epiales, the god of nightmares visits me frequently and socially, but this does not make me happy. Not knowing whether to damage monstrous souls with blight or bile, and the blood serves me poorly, too. I am an anemic Death Knight. I would eat raw shoveltusk steaks if I thought it would help.

Keeping balanced on my runes, and enough protection armor to see me and my minions safely through a difficult quest or dungeon hasn't been easy. I fail more than I succeed. Hero class? Me? Sometimes I just feel like a big phony. I got into this class by standing on the shoulder pads of greater players. No one can love me, or will. Not frisky and sweet like Mataoka, or fiercely independent like Haanta, the hunter, my Draenei ancestry only causes conflict within my fragile soul. Redemption and resurrection cannot clean the graveyard dirt from under my nails; no amount of scrubbing or repair can clear the conflicted emotions. Hanging out with the jovial and jocular Kalu'ak tribe, near Dragonblight, is warmth. Their friendly nature, down-to-earth advice, and warm blessing do cheer me.

However, I am still conflicted...should I tank, or damage? Should I just focus on damage, or brace myself to the criticisms, the slings and arrows of poor tanking? What if I make the wrong choice? What if everyone dies because of me? Do I want to be the biggest threat in the room, while simultaneously slipping further away from love and friendships? If I am under the spells of unholy damage, my minion faithfully serves by my side, but he is no match for a friendly fox pet or polar bear. He smells, too. Personal hygiene is not his forte. He's not much of a conversationalist either.

Note: many players get it right, though- http://forthebubbles.wordpress.com/2010/12/16/make-yourself-useful-the-cc-less-dps/

So lonely...so lonely...

/cry

/need a hug

This town...is looking like a ghost town...(The Specials)

Sure enough, except for me, this squirrel and an undead mage or two, Dal is depleted. You who are familiar with the world, much more experienced and savvy than little two-horned me, knew this would happen. You knowingly smirked at the elementals coming to town before the big patch, saying "Ah, yes, remember when zombies roamed all over Stormwind (chuckle, smirk)?" Before Cata, everyone was scrambling to get the pre-patch cheeves, ones that won't come our way again. (I got a pretty necklace, and subsequently guilted into giving another one up in a dungeon by a whiney player. Why am I so damn nice?) I am sorry I missed the zombies, missed most, or if not all, of the Lich King (we still have some unresolved issues...can I get closure people!?) If Lady Jaina goes on Oprah to talk about their celebrity marriage, I'm going to punch someone in the throat.

But this is about me.

And the squirrel.

If nothing else, having 12,000,000 humans spend time in this world says something profound...human relationships are made and broken minute-by-minute in this game. People act like more racists, sexists, pigs, idiots and dorks in one minute of Trade Chat than in the last century. You know who you are.

But those same vulnerable humans also make friends, enjoy the world, and congratulate each other on their successes, too, and pick each other up from their failures. I was fortunate to quest with such a friend, but I suspect that due to real human conditions, he/she may not be able to play now. I don't know their "real" gender, I don't care; I don't know who they are, where they live, what they do, or who they know -- I'm a virtual creation, and live in a virtual space. Ah, the great unseen...I know you're still out there. In the tough human world of middle-class diminishment and capped incomes, the new Cata patch and monthly dues are just not in your guild bank right now. But, my human misses them, and hopes they are doing okay. I left a forwarding address in the mail box, and a message in an empty Captain Rumsey's bottle floating out in Booty Bay...

So, here I sit, missing my questing friends more than I can write (heart squeeze). I'll level up, do the new dungeons, pick fleas off of my guildmates' new Worgen fur coats, and carry your banner in my guildbank. Please come back if you can. It's draining my mana.

Got elf?

So...very...funny.... http://www.wired.com/underwire/2010/12/alt-text-elf-overdose/

But- elves be warned - it may not be flattering to your kind. But in the spirit of the winter holidays, and a nod to Keeblers everywhere, be proud of your race, your ears, and your abs.


http://www.wired.com/underwire/2009/07/alt-text-warcraft/

My pretty pony...

As much as we all love to complain about what things are wrong with our world, I gotta admit, these seahorses are beautiful...the whole of Vashj'ir is stunning. Questing in a non-linear mode, truly three-dimensional, (things coming up from the sand, overhead, sideways and backwards) has added a new flavor, and it ain't tuna. Granted, I have become somewhat water logged, and I am pretty sure I caught a nasty cold from the Earthern Ring shaman, (who reminds me of an old Jewish grandfather...'vat, you vant somethink? Go then, you vant I should help you vit this quest?') So, as I work on avoiding shark bites and jellyfish stings (I think I just spotted Spongebob behind that Obsidian deposit...) I will kick up the sand and free Willy, oh, Wil'ha? Wil'he? Won't he? Anyway, gonna go grab a Krabby patty and be on my way!

Buff Envy.

You pallies, mages, priests and druids have abilities I am sorely lacking: buffs. Standing shyly at the gates of Alterac Valley, you all throw out your love to us like beads at Mardi Gras, never asking for anything in return, you just give, give, give...I feel like I showed up at a party without the right type of wine or hostess gift...shameful. A hearty "TY" and your "NP" just doesn't seem like enough gratitude...and no, I'm not going to lift my armor to get more beads.

Maybe if the good folks at Blizz would listen to ME once in awhile, and not throw out all that lawyer-y crap they do, protecting copyrights and blah blah blah, they would notice this little blondie has a few good ideas...for example, why not give others the gift of buffs, too?

Hunters would love to throw out their "Carnivorous Appetite" buff on all, allowing friendly players to gain 10% more damage on attack power. Bling! Bite! Insignia taken - boo-yah!

Rogues would buff one and all with the "Oliver Twisted" pick-pocket ability for 60 minutes...good for us toons who get a little short on gold from upping our professions...

Myself, I would like the "Bandaid Buff," or the power to decrease health loss, create happiness and boo-boo kisses when a fellow player is feeling insecure, or if I get a "WTF MATAO?!?!" in a dungeon. /cry (I deserved it - suffering from dungeon fatigue, I made some bad choices one instance). Just a little sompim' sompim' to make it all better. Warrior feeling nerfed? Bandaid. Death Knight all emo? Bandaid. Hunter losing focus? You get the idea.

Now, I realize you Troll and Orc (cough) ladies have no issues with your femininity. You are more than comfortable with three-days' worth of beard growth and lip-ring infections. However, if you want to take a tip from those snooty Blood Elf girls, you may want to invest in a good Brazilian wax and nose-hair trimmer....just sayin'. Those BE sorority girls know a thing or two about metro-sexual BE males. (Those pretty boys sure can dance, though, and form the best boy bands.) A  "Beauty Buff" would not only change your appearance for raids and holiday quests, but might get you a date, too.