Wednesday, January 2, 2013

2. Write More (and EFFFUUUU MAJOR PAYNE)

Today is my last day of my winter holiday. There is a rare Northwestern sunny day out there today, so you'd better believe I'm going to hide my sparkly-vampire skin and take advantage of it. Shine on, you crazy diamond! I had big, big plans for this vacation. So much was going to get done in the real world. So. Very. Much. But, I procrastinated like a boss and put it off to this upcoming weekend. What? What's that you say? I have company coming?! WHAT? NOOooooOOOOOOOooooooOOOOoo.

Oh, I can have a root canal instead? With a rusty drill that's been licked by malodorous cats who've recently eaten tuna fish sandwiches from a rubbish bin from the food court at an airport?

What, you're joking? You were just trying to be funny, and that's not a choice? You suck.

Ah, yes, still haven't lost my epic ability for hyperbole.

So--okay. January 2. This is the real day for taking stock, creating spreadsheets and inventory lists. If I could bar code my life and just go beep beep beep and have it all categorized, collated, and cataloged that would be cool with me. Instead I'm going through reams of computer files, backup caches, and dumping it all. Look at email from May 9, 2011! I'm coming for you! None of this nitty-gritty work would be remotely emotionally possible if a few things had not happened first. Come on, my little OCD comrades, you understand! (Don't you?!)

There were a few things I really wanted to accomplish in game. Some of these things were out of my control and squarely in the hands of the malevolent RNGs. (They really are Old Testament aren't they?) The things like finding a Scourged Whelping did not happen, and I was really hoping for the first time ever there would be a restart yesterday, because that's when all the rumors say Scourged Whelpings spawn. You know I tried to get the little girl dragons and the little boy dragons to understand the birds and the bees, but they would have none of it. Frigid Frostlings indeed. Anyway, many good things did happen, but mostly because of my relentless pixelized effort (and lack of changing out of sweatpants and hobbit slippers):

That is so me. No plan. Not for 2013 though! There will be plans! Blueprints! Outlines! Oh my!

This sums up my feelings about alts, but may be a request for a Blog Azeroth topic soon.

 I become exalted with the Golden Lotus, and will continue to slowly work on August Celestials: the Black Prince is more my cup of darjeeling right now, so we'll see. And boy, their tabard sure is purdy!

There was no way I was going to end the morning only needing about 500 more rep points with the Golden Lotus. I slew Mogu until one of them handed me his keys. Thanks! I'll be taking those!
And something else I wonder, if they are the Golden Lotus, why don't they at least offer the heroes of Azeroth some tasty lotus to snack on, ala The Odyssey and the Lotus Eaters? Sure would make the grind less painful to have a natural analgesic once in awhile. So what if Ulysses had to drag his intoxicated sailors back to the ship? You know, the rest of the journey was serene and calm, and I'm sure none of them regretted not hanging out with beautiful brown Island girls getting their lotus on.

First time doing a legendary chain in real time...

This Black Prince stuff is going to happen. This is the first time I've been in game when a legendary was 1. Accessible to me and 2. Accessible to ME. Meaning, before it seemed one had to be on a raid team, or a specific class. I really appreciate that everyone can be involved with this, even if the Black Prince is up to nefarious ends. Who knows? He might be a nice guy after all. He can't help it if his eyes glow red and the braces hide his sharp, pointy teeth.

Momokawa reached Level 90. And this is a HUGE thank you to Señor, who realized what a floppy, fluffy, worthless druid I was, and helped me train her up properly. I know he got a kick out of watching me almost get eaten by lions and ghosts. At one point after successfully defending myself from a mob, I asked him if he helped me, and like a good man pushing his kid off of the training wheels, he said no, he almost did, but then just let me figure it out.

I really just wanted to get to level 90 with her so she can fly on her little druid wings and pick flowers and farm. She's a tired little druid now though, so before she starts working the fields, she's going into hibernation for awhile.

Night Little Baby Druid! Sleep Tight!

Trumpets and fanfare, please! trala-lala!! Finally - Major Payne has been bested! I wish I could say there is a trick to this punk, but alas, it's just luck of rotations. If the baby bear comes out first, you're probably toast. I hate that bear. I had Beezlebub the Fel Flame, Frankensquirrel the Rabid Nut thing, and Clawdaddy the Crab. Dear readers, I realize you are far, far away from your Major Payne days -- everyone has far and away surpassed my pet skills, but I will cheer you on from the sidelines, cause apparently King Varian needs my help. The mention of the King makes my buddy froth at the mouth, though, respectfully wishing Bolvar Fordragon had been made king of the Alliance. Alas, some men's fates do not turn out the way they wish. Kind of like having company on the heels of the Christmas holiday. Wonder if Grizzle does guest appearances?

So, here's the New Year - a clean slate, a fresh start. I made a list of some game things I want to do, but my biggest goal is to not play so much. I feel like I'm not ---something. Not sure how to phrase it -- like with not raiding anymore, not worrying about other's expectations, miscommunication, as well as just enjoying the sheer pleasure of derpiness, I can relax for the first time in a long time in game. Most things during play time are things I can do on my own now, or with a buddy, and that is what I've been wanting for a long time. Metaphysically, I need more structure in my world right now, and this year's theme will be "Taming Real World." Starting in my messy kitchen would be a good place. EFFFFFUUUUU STICKY FORK! I'm coming for ya!


  1. NOTHING ELSE in the world matters! You beat down that rotten, horrid Major Payne and made the world safe again! All is well!

    1. That pendejo had the audacity to try to get to play matchmaker between him and chica in Stormwind!?! He is SO not her type. Must love dogs - doesn't he get that?

      So when my company is here, perhaps I should write, in small letter using a black Sharpie, "MP" and glance at it occasionally, and smile serenely...:) !

  2. Grats on beating Major Payne! I agree, Payne's bear is a major puta, I must have used five bandages in a row just to beat him.

    1. Took the words right out of my mouth. I had no bandages, but would hop over to the stable master. Just glad this part is finished!

  3. Major Paine is still taking great delight in telling me I'm useless :( His whole team is propped up by that stupid annoying bear.... This weekend I'm going to "borrow" Mr Harpy's clockwork gnome and own his face.

    1. Melt his face! This may sound weird but if bear was up first I let a healer take the concussive blow and then got out my squirrel; but really just not having him be the first round is what does it; please keep me posted of your impending victory!

  4. This sounds weird but he was easy for me... it was the twilight highlands one that stumped me for about 10 attempts! Lots of people found that one easy but probably relates to your levelling combination I guess. But congratscause I know lots of people hate that bear! Tally ho!

    1. That is funny cause I don't have a variety of leveled pets yet, and just got the Twilight Highlands guy pretty easily. Glad Payne wasn't a pain for you! That rocks!


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