Sunday, January 13, 2013

Scoundrels and Champions

Consider this a public service announcement. Don't worry - no auction house taxes or mail fee surcharges were used - this is squarely out of my own pocket. Ladies and Gentlement of Azeroth - you need to know about grifters out there: Barnaby Fletcher, Jeremy Feasel. And the Postmaster. Scoundrels. Absolute scoundrels.

Barnaby Fletcher: Barnaby is our down-on-his-luck washed-up mage from the sewers of Dalaran, and has since cleaned up his act. He did his twenty-eight days, and is now celebrating one year of sobriety. Good on you, Barnaby! However, what he doesn't tell you is that he'll sell you nearly worthless shards for one gold each. Ceniza, our normally skeptical mage, found herself in a vulnerable moment, and wanted desperately to believe in Barnaby's wares, that perhaps these shards were truly magical and could do amazing things, like whisk one to the top of the castle, or perhaps...gee...I don't know...something cool! But nope. It was all smoke and mirrors, and these simply work like normal portals, something Ceniza doesn't need, but perhaps others who are not trained in the ways of mages do. Even though there are portals everywhere. And they don't do any tricks either.

Jeremy Feasel: Oh, this man-worgen cheats. How do we know he's a wolf in sheep's clothing? That oh-so-charming accent is a dead giveaway. Ain't we a chipper looking one indeed sir! He has been known in previous incarnations as a cheat and a shifty carnie, but since getting bitten by worgen fever, uses his new manners and haughty airs to lure innocent faire goers into thinking that maybe they have a chance at this rigged game. I have a hunch it's going to take many a lunar cycle before I see this pet. Get it? See it? Oh. Okay.
Feasel the Weasel is more like it.

Mataoka has no manner of luck at all when it comes to weapons. It's January 13, and she still has crappy blues for her enhancement specialization, and though she does have an amazing staff, shamans prefer healing maces and shields. If I ever did want to raid with her in the near future, well, I wouldn't until some fairy godmother comes along and kicks the RNGs until they let go of some damn gear. And there she was, and loot, glitch, lag, and whoa! What's this?! A letter from the Postmaster!? Maybe! MAYBE something dropped after all! 

What? No? It's a mistake? 

See? There wasn't anything in there but the letter. Maybe I can use it to wipe my tail....

Where's my champion?

Oh, and yes. Here is my request, my plea if you will:

I have yet to kill Ragnaros. The Firelands one, not the Molten Core one, just to clarify. I thought it was going to happen tonight, but some wires might have gotten crossed, and a "yes" got turned into a lost-in-the-ether thing. Oh well.

I also have two more things to do for the Cata Dungeon Hero for my pony - the wind one and the static shock thing. If you need any of these, too, will you let me know, so we can get a five-man together?

If you would like to help me form a 10-man for Firelands and promise me, cross your heart, you will see me through to the bitter end to kill Ragnaros, and you have Vent or Mumble installed, (I'll figure out the rest - I love Mumble). I need some closure on some things, folks. Please. Not above begging. I'm thinking Sunday, January 27 or Sunday, February 3, or even the Saturdays prior, please let me know. You can drop me a line at mataoka.of.exodar @ gmail . com

Till next time - this is yours truly, heart-on-her-sleeve, in love and peace...and watch out for those cheaters!


  1. Oh! Those portal shards are even worse than just making normal portals. They only work when you're on the farm. My death knight got a bunch because she thought, "Hey! Free portals to the cities." Which would be cool except all she got was Exodar portals she could only make while on the farm.

    1. Oh no! Barnaby's deception runs that deep!? Do we need to contact his sponsor? I think his rehabilitation didn't stick. Thank you for this information - we really need to be vigilant!

  2. OMG those portal shards are just the epitome of clever salesmanship and swindling. And Jeremy... well the name Jeremy sends me into swoons so even though I hate him I kinda adore him also.

    1. That's how scoundrels are Navi - they are charming! Haha!

  3. I'm adding the Darkmoon Eye to my list of mythic creatures. I would be happy to help with anything I can, just tell me what it is and when. Although my help may be of a dubious nature never having entered a Cata instance, lol, let alone Firelands.

    1. Excellent! There's my champion! Firelands is aptly named: fire, flailing, and more fire. RUN! Gives "don't stand in the fire" an ironic twist.

      I am beginning to think my next few fanfic stories are mythical creatures too. Went to bed all sleepy and relaxed, only to wake up at 2:30 thinking about work.

      Ugh. My mantra? Just keep swimming....just keep swimming....

  4. Cassaberee14.1.13

    I'm a little bummed, i would have loved to be part of your group, but even if i din't have school, there is no way RJ would let me have that much free time. Best of luck, let me know how it goes. =)

  5. Babies > wow any day! Still very happy to hear from you and hope all is well!!

  6. Oh my goodness so I'm not the only one who finds the new portal shards a scam and they we're such a nuisance to grow anyway! I would be happy to come along and help with Firelands, heck I'm still collecting the embers for the epic staff. Battletag: Starre#1621

  7. Cassaberee17.1.13

    Yes all is well, sleepy, but well. =)


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