Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Tiny Story Time: The Hangover

"Ach, oh, my head! My aching head!" Kellda felt as if a thousand small gremlins tugged at the tissue under her forehead, as if they were trying to pull a carpet up the hard way; only this carpet was her scalp, and the gremlins were Darkmoon Faire lager. "What was I thinking?" she wondered to herself, as she grabbed the goose-down pillow and tried to shut out the obnoxious morning. A feeble attempt at best: goose-down pillows are slippery as love and seem like a good idea at the time, again, just like love. One burning eye peeked under the damned thing, as a pin feather pricked her cheek. Her Voidwalker slumped in the corner, unmoving, his color a bit off, she noticed. Instead of his deep indigo blue, he was more bruised looking somehow, like he'd been in a fight and wanted to say, "You should see the other guy..." But a Voidwalker would never say that. He would say something more protracted and formal: You Call, and I Serve, and Act As Nether-Bouncer to the Drunks of the Void. Bouncer, indeed. He should have cut her off, flagged her, 86'd her, for gods' sake, at the twelth round. She was juicy at the ninth, flirty at the third, but dead drunk by twelve. She remembers someone suggesting a round of Potion of Illusion shots around 2AM, something called a "Twisted Nether," and she remembers being very, very attractive. The Voidwalker grunted. Good, at least he was alive. She didn't have much in reserves for health funnel, and the thought of choking down a soulwell lozenge was about to make her lose her cookies. He muttered something under his purple breath. "What?! WHAT?! You miserable sot! What?" she growled. "You're you again, mistress." "What do you mean, I'm 'me' again?" "You turned into a human for a time, mistress, and you did, things...questionable...things."

Kellda thought he must by lying. A human, bah! Never!

But...there was the issue of a snoring paladin, and this:

Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear.

Kellda the Dwarf Warlock, Twirly Pigtails and All

Matty's Recipe for a Twisted Nether (Yes, I made this up--all by myself - it is a variation of the Very Berry Cosmo)


Put equal parts in a cocktail shaker, put in a martini glass, and don't wear white. Good luck. Garnish with blueberries or small mermaid cocktail charms. Don't choke on either.

Or, just Vodka and the monkey. And not the cheap stuff, either.

In a pinch, cocktail monkeys do nicely, too:

You need to read this about Mantis Shrimp. Read it now.

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