Thanks, Mr. Snergul

Dahahka helped me with some great edits to In Blood. Thanks again, sir!

OLRG: Que onda guera?

Say "Mortals Are My Cheese!" Yogg! Knee-deep in Yogg-goo….don't ask

Mr. Snerguls here: listen readers, I gots a headache 8-miles wide, or 13+ kilometers for you metric majority…Matty has so many posts she wants to write, so many adventures to share, but she's got a full agenda in and out of Azeroth today, and she left it to my skilled editorial webbed fingers to sort it all out, so fuggedaaboutit, capiche? I can't promise to stay in character either so like a traffic safety study blocking a bridge, you can complain all you want but nuttin' you can do 'bout it. These stories are her scribblings, and man that dame got lots of scribblings'…more than a tapole spawn in an early spring…so here goes:


The Little Mexican Store That Could…Not

There is a little Hispanic grocery store near where I work. It's hard for me to leave during the day, and even though it's within walking distance, I truly don't have a lot of time to leave. Kind of sucks. But thank you global climate change! A warm, soft day in January, and off I go to find pre-made horchata, and I had to buy some Takis for someone to whom I lost a bet. Takis are serious business, people. Don't know what those are? Turns out, two of my friends yesterday didn't know what those were either, and were not pleased when I teased them about it.

This is a bag of Takis:

Now some would say you'd have to eat them if you lost a bet, but they are delicious. When you're twelve. Anyway, off I go in search of horchata, the drink of youth, the elixir of the Aztecan gods, the nectar sung by the praises of Ozomatli himself! I went up and down the aisles in search of a canned version but all I could find were varying forms of Abuelita hot chocolate mix (which I drink all the time and it is EFFFING AWESOME), the Takis, and some amazing perfect bananas. (Must be having a potassium deficiency because I never eat bananas, but I have eaten every one of this bunch.)

Anyway, I go to check out, a young mother ahead of me with a toddler and baby in tow (what is that about kids? They turn to mountain goats and can climb steep candy displays with no effort, but take a nap? Not.) I ask the nice lady where it is, but my accent is so bad, so abysmal, I am not sure if I just asked for watery pantyhose or asked her out on a date. We get to the bottom of my request, and she points to a display around the corner, and I'm thinking there will be cans or bottles there, but no. I consider buying more bananas, but…she gets out from behind the cash register and points me over to the take-out food section where a rookie cash register lady is being trained by a veteran employee. Her make-up application (the vet) was epic. And this is where it gets dangerous, but I promise, I swear, no judgment. Really. Since I have been observing humanity from the time I could hold a crayon, I am fascinated by people watching. Women all over the world wear too much make-up. Bright blue and iridescent green semi-circles of eye shadow, dotted hot pink cheeks, red lip liner with pink gloss in the lines, and caterpillar-like false eyelashes. The thing is, like most of us women, we don't look too bad with a little spackle and paint, but too much is too much. Personally, I am a new woman with the right shade of lipstick, dark circle concealer and mascara. I was so mesmerized by the goddess I could not remember how to ask for horchata, and after several botched attempts at "rice water" "aqua de horchata" or "white water" they figured out they didn't have any, and offered the mango or guava juice instead. I chose those, but was too embarrassed to ask where the lids and straws where, and happily slurped my  juice, open lid, walking back to work. I didn't spill a drop. Takis delivered, bananas eaten, and I figured I would just keep going back until I get it right, but yes, feeling like an ass that something so close to me felt so far away.

Ulduar, can you hear me?
The OLRG ventured into Ulduar yesterday, and it was really fun: Tome hadn't been there before, and it is spectacular. We are not so much a raiding team as a tour bus: but seriously, get out of our way. I'll do a post about next Saturday's potential adventures, and yes, am going to try to see if I can get my DK on the Horde side gear up a bit more, not that it really matters. I know some fairly OP players! Stay tuned, good folks!

Are you there, Old Gods? It's me, Momokawa...

her
Last night we went to see "Her." I don't have enough broadband in the world to begin to analyze the parallels between our pixelized lives in Azeroth and a man falling deeply in love with his OS. If I casually walked up to friends and said, "I"m in a relationship with my draenei and night elves," I would be hauled off to the looney bin. But I have as much said that, and I have been seriously judged, and oh well. It's okay. I do "love" them, and the stories/narratives I create: the subtext of the movie was how deeply imperative and urgent our life narratives are. I'm not suggesting I think the future of relationships, love, and community are bright--I'm saying it gets just as complicated and just as simple as ever. We all want love, we want someone to understand us, and not a single entity can be that for any one person. We need friends, lovers, mates, children, (ours or extended ad-hoc ones). I would love a deep conversation about this film with my Azerothian friends. You may or may not like what it reflects back to you, and at times made me uncomfortable. The pedestal we build, and the clay feet we smash…oh damn, getting too serious. If you want a lighter side, check out Jonah Hill's parody when you have a chance.

But I have to add, this, along with other recent posts about the nature of community, has left me with lots of thought-thoughts having thoughts. 

Okay, see whud I'm talking 'bout? She just goes on and on! I go out for a coffee and canoli and the next thing I know she's written too damn much! Bah, whatevs. Snerguls…out. Gotta hot date with a murloc in another realm named Samantha…she sent me a pic and she looks like this:

Theme song: Think I'm In Love

Mr. Snerguls, HALP!

Mistakes, errors, grammatical blunders (undistinguishable, Matty, not INDISTINGUISHABLE? For the love of Strunk & White!)
Mr. Snerguls, or Snergulllsss, or Snergggles, recently went on an ill-timed trip to Chicago to see some relatives in the Field Museum (okay, so they stuffed taxidermic displays of some relatives, but still,

FIELD TRIP! FIELD TRIP!

he showed me where the spell check button is, the little green check mark with the ABC icon, the little icon which at least picks up most grammatical typos, if not homophones. The other day I even typed "no" for "know." What the hell, Matty? Seriously? This is the one thing you're good at, or at least you tell yourself that, and yet you can't slow down enough, not hit the publish button long enough to read and edit thyself?

Poor Mr. Snerguls. He's in a deep-freeze, stuck at O'Hare airport: he wanted to help me during Flex raiding last night. Finally, FINALLY- "we" (aka I) got to Garrosh. For some reason, maybe it's my bad memory, our Tuesday Flex nights when I've been able to be there we (I) haven't gotten up to that point. Mataoka's gear is sub-par, her loot drop RNG luck as been as cold as a craps table during a Mid-Atlantic storm, and she just can't seem to get it together. Let me be clear: the guild and normal raid team (I'm not on it, but that's cool) has gotten through it just fine. Flex is for new players, etc., and those alts gearing up. On Garrosh, during the "sucked up into the yuck" I and another shaman died 3x in a row. I finally just ran under his skirts (Garrosh's, not the other shaman's) and survived. I let out a private cheer in my house. Small victories, small victories. My buddy Turk said some of my problem may have been due to a slow computer: I appreciate that but no, it's slow fingers and reflexes by the computer's operator (cough). We got him down to 1% twice, but of course, overwhelmed by the MC and other nonsense. But we'll get him (I hope) next Tuesday. I saved one of my coins for loot I need, and alas, gold and more gold. Oh, and really glad to know hunters got a 10% buff, cause you know, hunters were so weak and frail. (No one loves shamans. No. One.)

Oh, and it was CD Rogue's birthday last night too, so that's making me feel pretty good about myself, (insert sarcasm font), that I abandoned him for a date with Garrosh (who stood me up, the bastard), and a plate full of sugar-free chocolate cupcakes and homemade chicken pot-pie (seriously, if you have a box of Bisquick, cream of mushroom soup, chicken thighs and mixed frozen vegetables, everything is going to work out).

So, how did I end up with a mish-mash post such as this? These are all the things on my mind. I hate the story I started about the druid, am embarrassed I can't seem to get my grammar sharper, and I am redundant, and I can't kill Garrosh, and and and…is it wrong to eat a cupcake for breakfast?

I think I'll just go fly around on my pretty dragon and pretend I know what I'm doing.

Dornaa saves the day...

 There are many quest lines that are heartbreaking--the loss of Gwennyth Bly'Leggonde, Theramore and its shattering losses, heck, I'm still not over Woo Ping. Never will be. But as the Pandarens say, "Enough of that!" I want us to put our collective noggins together for the cutest, happiest, sappiest quests in the game.

One of my favorite places in Azeroth is the little-known Tainted Forest. I am sure I've written about it before: it's truly a fairy-tale place -- dark, lurking, haunted, and spectacular. It's one of those zones I'm sure the artists at Blizzard had fun designing, but never quite got off the ground, perhaps it's one of those "in between expansion zones" that no one needs to go to in order to level. (Cause it's all about the leveling isn't it?) One of the most darling of all quest is "The Future of the Rockpool" quest. Baby murlocs are on what appears to be an aquarium crate, most likely holding bad doings of naga spawn, and while fighting off naga of all sorts, and kicking down false idols of snakey Azshara's, you tug this little group along until you find a moment to get them off to the sea. Granted, there are also flaming crabs that will pinch and bite you along the way too.

They...are adorable.

So fellow bloggers: what are the most adorable, darling quests you can think of? I know Navi's heart melts with Lunk, but are there others that are just too damn cute to pass up? I mean really, how could you say no to this face?

Postscript: Made this a BlogAzeroth shared topic.