Sunday, January 26, 2014

OLRG: Que onda guera?

Say "Mortals Are My Cheese!" Yogg! Knee-deep in Yogg-goo….don't ask

Mr. Snerguls here: listen readers, I gots a headache 8-miles wide, or 13+ kilometers for you metric majority…Matty has so many posts she wants to write, so many adventures to share, but she's got a full agenda in and out of Azeroth today, and she left it to my skilled editorial webbed fingers to sort it all out, so fuggedaaboutit, capiche? I can't promise to stay in character either so like a traffic safety study blocking a bridge, you can complain all you want but nuttin' you can do 'bout it. These stories are her scribblings, and man that dame got lots of scribblings'…more than a tapole spawn in an early spring…so here goes:

The Little Mexican Store That Could…Not

There is a little Hispanic grocery store near where I work. It's hard for me to leave during the day, and even though it's within walking distance, I truly don't have a lot of time to leave. Kind of sucks. But thank you global climate change! A warm, soft day in January, and off I go to find pre-made horchata, and I had to buy some Takis for someone to whom I lost a bet. Takis are serious business, people. Don't know what those are? Turns out, two of my friends yesterday didn't know what those were either, and were not pleased when I teased them about it.

This is a bag of Takis:

Now some would say you'd have to eat them if you lost a bet, but they are delicious. When you're twelve. Anyway, off I go in search of horchata, the drink of youth, the elixir of the Aztecan gods, the nectar sung by the praises of Ozomatli himself! I went up and down the aisles in search of a canned version but all I could find were varying forms of Abuelita hot chocolate mix (which I drink all the time and it is EFFFING AWESOME), the Takis, and some amazing perfect bananas. (Must be having a potassium deficiency because I never eat bananas, but I have eaten every one of this bunch.)

Anyway, I go to check out, a young mother ahead of me with a toddler and baby in tow (what is that about kids? They turn to mountain goats and can climb steep candy displays with no effort, but take a nap? Not.) I ask the nice lady where it is, but my accent is so bad, so abysmal, I am not sure if I just asked for watery pantyhose or asked her out on a date. We get to the bottom of my request, and she points to a display around the corner, and I'm thinking there will be cans or bottles there, but no. I consider buying more bananas, but…she gets out from behind the cash register and points me over to the take-out food section where a rookie cash register lady is being trained by a veteran employee. Her make-up application (the vet) was epic. And this is where it gets dangerous, but I promise, I swear, no judgment. Really. Since I have been observing humanity from the time I could hold a crayon, I am fascinated by people watching. Women all over the world wear too much make-up. Bright blue and iridescent green semi-circles of eye shadow, dotted hot pink cheeks, red lip liner with pink gloss in the lines, and caterpillar-like false eyelashes. The thing is, like most of us women, we don't look too bad with a little spackle and paint, but too much is too much. Personally, I am a new woman with the right shade of lipstick, dark circle concealer and mascara. I was so mesmerized by the goddess I could not remember how to ask for horchata, and after several botched attempts at "rice water" "aqua de horchata" or "white water" they figured out they didn't have any, and offered the mango or guava juice instead. I chose those, but was too embarrassed to ask where the lids and straws where, and happily slurped my  juice, open lid, walking back to work. I didn't spill a drop. Takis delivered, bananas eaten, and I figured I would just keep going back until I get it right, but yes, feeling like an ass that something so close to me felt so far away.

Ulduar, can you hear me?
The OLRG ventured into Ulduar yesterday, and it was really fun: Tome hadn't been there before, and it is spectacular. We are not so much a raiding team as a tour bus: but seriously, get out of our way. I'll do a post about next Saturday's potential adventures, and yes, am going to try to see if I can get my DK on the Horde side gear up a bit more, not that it really matters. I know some fairly OP players! Stay tuned, good folks!
Are you there, Old Gods? It's me, Momokawa...
Last night we went to see "Her." I don't have enough broadband in the world to begin to analyze the parallels between our pixelized lives in Azeroth and a man falling deeply in love with his OS. If I casually walked up to friends and said, "I"m in a relationship with my draenei and night elves," I would be hauled off to the looney bin. But I have as much said that, and I have been seriously judged, and oh well. It's okay. I do "love" them, and the stories/narratives I create: the subtext of the movie was how deeply imperative and urgent our life narratives are. I'm not suggesting I think the future of relationships, love, and community are bright--I'm saying it gets just as complicated and just as simple as ever. We all want love, we want someone to understand us, and not a single entity can be that for any one person. We need friends, lovers, mates, children, (ours or extended ad-hoc ones). I would love a deep conversation about this film with my Azerothian friends. You may or may not like what it reflects back to you, and at times made me uncomfortable. The pedestal we build, and the clay feet we smash…oh damn, getting too serious. If you want a lighter side, check out Jonah Hill's parody when you have a chance.

But I have to add, this, along with other recent posts about the nature of community, has left me with lots of thought-thoughts having thoughts. 

Okay, see whud I'm talking 'bout? She just goes on and on! I go out for a coffee and canoli and the next thing I know she's written too damn much! Bah, whatevs. Snerguls…out. Gotta hot date with a murloc in another realm named Samantha…she sent me a pic and she looks like this:

Theme song: Think I'm In Love


  1. You've got the coolest stuff out there. I don't think I'd try the Takis cause it says fire on it so that's not a good sign but I would love some little granny chocolate! Thank you Tour Director Extraordinaire for that ride on the magic bus last night!

    1. That Abuelita hot chocolate is da bomb, as the kids would say oh five years ago! lol I'll start thinking of our next tour soon!

  2. Anonymous26.1.14

    Yes! Get that hordie up there. Ulduar would have been fun and I love my priest (almost that much).

    1. I think I'll just focus on my warlock in Navi's guild - I know, I know…but leveling isn't too bad…right?


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