Saturday, January 11, 2014

Nothing personal.

If you look carefully, Kairoz is seen at the end of the Vision of Time film…roll credits...
Somewhere on a legal pad,whereabouts unknown, the draft for this post sits patiently, with detailed, bullet-point concepts. I don't know where that notepad is at the moment. At this current point in time, I'm playing Kellda, who needs  6 5 more Secrets of the First Empire, and 38 more bars of trillium. The trillium is easy: just some time farming and Momokawa can whip up those ghost iron bars before you can say "Malfurion's beard." Things in our control - wonderful. Things that the RNGs determine? Not so great.

But…those things in our control. That is the tough one to untangle. Even more difficult are the factors that are not in our control, but we are under the delusion they are.

Take for example: other people.

No, never mind.

See that handsome blood elf in her Instagram shot, Kairoz? Well, mark my words, he is up to something, in cahoots with the Prince. The Prince has been keeping Kellda busy trying to get her cloak, and in her evil ways she whispered to the human behind the keyboard, "Hey, psst…you should try to get one for your beautiful healer Zeptepi too, and maybe Luperci, Who Is Not A Fail Tank…and remember Momokawa? Sure, she'd like one too before the next expansion…those cloaks really do make a difference in spells and healing, so…."


Right now, at 9:10AM, I have tried to do the Forgotten Depths many times. Tanks leave, trash is inadvertently pulled, soulstones crushed, you know. Though supposedly the Secrets drop from newer LFRs, I have yet to see a single one, and these older raids seem to promise greater potential.  I am so frustrated with Mataoka currently - is her gear terrible? No. Is it good? No. Did it progress in step with the other Draenei and Human chicas? No, not at all. Finally Haanta received the Gorge Stalker belt recipe (after every PVP gear recipe and some professional leatherworking days with no recipes) and just said "Here ya go, toots…knock yourself out." I realized that I am at a plateau with that shammy, and that is depressing. Should it be? No--it's a game.

Thursday night my big GM whispered me if I come heal the normal. He did not have a chance to tell me it would be only until another regular raider logged on, or only temporary. I had just made myself some dinner, a big, greasy, cheesy plate of nachos, and my fingers were greasy, and won a healing mace in LFR (yes, it's been that long), and wanted to make a quick enchant for it, and he said fine, but hurry. Grease off fingers (as best I could), enchant on, no food or flask buff, and off I went. For some reason, during hotfixes and patches, my whole system goes to junk. That's my polite, lady-like way of saying it. I noticed during several occasions on different characters I would cast a spell and then "POOF" be somewhere else in game, or turned around, or upside down. Kind of makes it tough to heal or dps when one is randomly pixelized somewhere else.

I also noticed that many, many times I am promised the satchel, but since the coalesced zones, etc., the promise of this satchel rarely materializes:
Not only does it not work out, it "disappears" while waiting in queue: quite the bait-and-switch
This has happened perhaps ten times in the past two weeks. Yes, I need to inform Blizzard. Okay, I'll get to it. On my list. Along with finding the legal pad of notes. Along with everything else.

Anyway, back to cheesy fingers and priestesses: I did horrible. I had no idea where they wanted me to stand, no offer of food or warlock cookies, just hurry, hurry, hurry, and though it was only Immerseus, two players died, and I struggled. My fingers slid all over the keyboard, my nachos looked at me balefully, cooling and congealing, and it was frustrating at best. Oh, and course no good loot either. Baby needs a new pair of shoes, ya know. GM said regular raider logged on, thanks for the help, don't let door hit you on the way out. Don't blame him. (He didn't really say that--he's a nice guy.) But I was upset. I realized I hadn't reforged Miss HealyPants Wingbutt in a long time, and since I was waiting for the mace, didn't want to waste my gold. I went in to Ask Mr Robot, and H11oly HOT, Zep - EVERYTHING was wrong, down to the last stat. What.The. Hell.

And the nacho debuff didn't help either.

But even when players are knowledgeable, (I was going to say "we" but can't put myself in that category), things are still ridiculous and stupid. Tome must have known how I was feeling because she linked me this from WoW Misadventures. Even when we try to be in control, the expansive world of Azeroth does not allow us entry. Too many locked doors, too many gatekeepers.

Kind of bullshit if you ask me.

And by not saying "we" it is the truth: the other night two players were in Vent, and one player asked another about being a shaman. I am there, on my shaman, having played her for about four years, and no one asked me. Now, it could be due to casual sexism, that men in game subconsciously think other men are more expert than women, (men are always impressed when women do a good job tanking), or it could just be he had questions he knew this other player could answer. The thing is, I didn't speak up because keeping track of nerfs, buffs, stat changes and the like has become SO EFFFING BORING. (This is also known as: I had no clue.)

There. I said it. Take back my Geek Cred Card if you want. Cut it in half right in front of my face. It's boring, stupid, lame, annoying, and IDGAF. (Figure that one out.) Wait. IDGAFF.

None of these things in Azeroth, however, can be taken too personally, if at all. We play with people we like, and we forgive them, and they forgive us.

Can't wait to see you all, Old Ladies.


  1. Does it make me a bad old lady that I knew what IDGAFF meant immediately without even furrowing my brow? Hope to see you later!

    1. No, as a matter of fact it makes you pretty damn awesome.

    2. My image of you has just been shattered, Tome. Shattered!!


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