Need.led.

Someday. Someday They Will Make A Vacuum That Will Outlast Me.

In the years I have been a "grown-up," and my domestic situation* has required a vacuum cleaner, I can count a minimum of now, seven, no, wait, eight, maybe even nine, (ten?) at least, in the past two decades alone. This is an average of 1 vacuum per every 2 years. If each vacuum costs around $89-$129 plus tax depending on the state where I'm living, then it is equivalent to "renting" the vacuum cleaner for .17 cents per day, or .13 euro.  Now .17 cents does not sound like a lot of money. And yet, here I sit, another January, taking down the tree (I insist on live, but dead, trees. Sorry planet. Can't quit my pagan ways), and of course the inevitable needles embed every nook, crevice, and crack. I will find Christmas tree needles from '13 until twilight's last gleaming. My dog Snickers is so thrilled with the greenery on the carpet he has been rolling and scratching his back all night. Of course, Vacuum X is broken, and I don't have the wherewithal to go to Target and acquire Vacuum XI. Each vacuum succumbs to the power of the Matty-shack: needles, animal bedding, dog hair (of dogs' long past), leaves, (I have no idea, but they get in here), and other flotsam/jetsam that demands to be sucked up, dumped out, and molecules that simply must be controlled by ME.

*Not required or demanded by a partner, but had the floors that needed vacuuming: partners optional.

Now: it's almost the end of my winter holiday. It's drawing to a close to a frantic winter friction-skid spring. My heart is starting to beat faster just thinking about it. And the thing is, that .17 cents is starting to kind of piss me off. I visit Azeroth to waste spend time in that beautiful world, (wait for it: extended metaphor developing!), and just like beautiful promises of Christmas trees and Santa bells, Azeroth, so shiny and pretty, just keeps breaking. For about every one victory: mount, pet, loot drop, there are about ten proverbial vacuum cleaners waiting to break.

Case in point: The Emperor.

Now, the Emperor is a pretty cool dude. He's made his peace with his past indiscretions, and is truly sorry. He lost his way, let his ego and pride come before his people, and now hangs out in the Timeless Isle like some benevolent talking fortune-teller hologram, promising wonders galore. Just get exalted with him, and that and .17 cents a day (100,000 Timeless Isle Coins) he will grant you a pony.

Now, Haanta kept up her end of the bargain. She and Lobito, the red wolf, or Patron, the white wolf, roam the countryside keeping others safe from any manner of animal or beastie, and scavenges a few left-over pelts, too. She handily gathered up enough for 100K coins, and one would hope, one would THINK that by the time this happened she would at least be honored with the old man.

Not even close. She's just Friendly stature. And though she knows she's supposed to be killing the Yaungol for repuation, it breaks her heart every time Lobito or Patron attack and have no sense to get out of the fire. They die for her, and their loyalty is too much to bear. At 11-12 points per kill, too, it's a long process. The completion of any ! from the Emperor equals 275. Dios mio: Back to the vacuum metaphor: it sucks.

From WoWHead:

Emperor Shaohao is a new faction on the Timeless Isle. There are no "mandatory" epics to grind out for this reputation--it's all about killing things on the Timeless Isle for vanity loot.

Reputation for this faction is primarily earned by killing Yaungol on the Timeless Isle. There is one daily quest,  Path of the Mistwalker. This reputation grind is meant to be in the style of Timbermaw Hold, which is long and only for true reputation lovers.

Look, I know. I know. It's okay Haanta. Really. It wouldn't be so bad if everything in real life was going smoothly, too. That that human of yours didn't have so many unfinished projects, to-do lists, promises, and appointments. Maybe you should buy back that Scruffy Cloth Hat and cool your heels hooves for a bit.

Sing it, Joan:

Postscript: List of current WoW projects:
Get Mataoka up to 60 exalted reps
Get Kellda her cloak, and then a healer, then a tank…
Level those gorgeous pets (thanks, Señor, Turk, Tome, everyone!!)
Level another Dornaa.

What? You didn't know? Yes, I got Dornaa to Level 90, and then gave her as a gift to Young Leet Druid, who promptly changed her to a Dwarf, male. /sigh

So, if you see me with another Dornaa at say, gee, level 4, be kind. Can't help myself. Wonder if Navimie wants an Alliance alt? :)

Update: One rep down:

Happy Haanta...

Haanta is a terrible hunter. But that's okay.

Haanta 'before' shot - sans helm

Before shot…with helm…egads!

I wish I could honestly report I am not sitting in my red paisley robe, juggling roasting pans and potatoes in a tiny kitchen, but alas, I am. It was a busy week, full of drama and moments of bliss, and now for a nice four-day weekend to work (yes, work - but good kind of work--see below) and play.

So I saw this personality test floating around Facebook, and decided to give it a crack:

Engaged Idealists are extroverted and helpful. Others find them to be very congenial and inspiring - especially as they are always willing to see the best in the other person. Their humour, their energy and their optimism attract other people.

Engaged Idealists are very good at communicating and are good at convincing and firing on others. That is why it is a matter of course that they often take over the leading role in groups. This personality type often produces very charismatic persons.

Engaged Idealists have an unusually strong ability to empathise. They are tolerant and generous towards others; they sometimes tend to idealise their friends. They always try to suit everybody and want their relationships to be harmonious and satisfactory. To achieve this, they are prepared to invest a great deal and to put their requirements last. As Engaged Idealists are very considerate, there is the danger of them sacrificing and overexerting themselves for others. In their job, they therefore have to be very careful not to develop a burnout syndrome.


About that…well, I have Azeroth. If the real world isn't cooperative, then I have an alternate layer of characters who are more than willing to let me take them through the fire again and again, and with a few clicks of an anvil's magic, they are all better again. This makes me think--no matter the criticisms, the anger, hostility, or intolerance we share in the real world or in Azeroth, we do have a chance to pop in, play with a beautiful, intriguing character and run and fly in a beautiful world. 

I'm grateful for that. 

Now onto getting Haanta some fashion help…

Postscript: Much, much better:

Alpha Female: Haanta

This has nothing to do with anything: I just think she looks great.

I admit I saw this look on a Draenei shaman the other day, and copied the chest and leggings: the rest is mine. Including Lobito. Sometimes a girl just needs a new look.

Postscript:
This is the pet she had, too: I wish our opening character screens showed pets we had out, too:

Haanta, Lobito, and baby Tito

Bearly-there!

Yes, sometimes you get the bear:

Steady...steady....keep calm...hit the tamer button...careful!

Arcturis decided he wanted to go home with Haanta after all. One or two other hunters stopped by, the last one inquiring about spawn times, and politely left.

Obviously I did not have time to go hunt down some better mog gear before this screenshot: that'll be my next project. Might even change my hair color...

Now--let's think about this for a minute.
The real buffs in Azeroth do not come from a button or spell:

Mataoka's cloak: Friendship element
Haanta's bear: Patience buff
Ceniza's pet: Pure Dumb Luck charm
Kellda's green fire: Ah, now this one, this one is going to take cunning, study, trial-and-error, repair bill gold, and a whole lot of smarts. Call this the "Most Clever Witch" enchantment. This is going to take some brain cells and elbow grease.

Momokawa received some assistance in her Gokk quest, too:

Which is a sight for sore eyes.

I was going to link one of the awkward album covers from this BuzzFeed, but thought against it. If you have eye soap, feel free to click. Otherwise, you have been warned. These...these are not good. No. Bad. Very, very bad. If you think Anous is evil, well...

On target....

Señor inspired me to get Haanta out of hiding, and that little hunter girl has been having fun. Before making dinner, and not being able to go to Firelands due to previous obligations, took a few minutes and ran through Sunwell, and she picked up this:

Man-oh-man, those runs are fun.

Now--I want to find a First Mate's Hat - does anyone know where I can get one?

Drabble: Walk

“You are a damn idiot, Matty. You called me out from the hunt for this frivolity, and then you dare to presume, and tell me to change my boots? I earned these, Matty, every step of the way. You and yours did nothing to help me. From the moment I left Azuremyst, I did this on my own. These boots – you call them ugly? Provisioner Whitecloud doesn’t give these away, Mataoka. I indulged your dress-up time, a waste of time, and you don’t have the right to tell me what else to do. So shove-off, shaman cousin. Leave me be.” 

Mog Madness, Round Deux: Dress Blues.

I am very honored to have made the cut for Round II of Mog Madness. I never win anything! And now, am resigned to a hearty, "do my best." 

There is no way in a week I can rally AWOL player friends. My tribes-of-two tried to help me out, and they are amazing players, but obtaining this boon proved to be a bit much for these raids, even at those levels. But it's okay: as long as I can use Mogit, and pretend to put a transmog outfit together using the one criteria, the polearm, then I'll give it a shot. Hope it hits the mark. Target acquired.

Don't shoot your eye out. Anyway--

My only rules included using items that I can either get on my own or have,* They needed to complement in color, texture, and line, producing an overall look. I did not take heed if something was more "hunter versus shaman" class--this sisterhood of shared clothing is understood (as long as I take it to the cleaners when I'm done.) The only thing missing is Sweater; waking him from hibernation made him grumpy as a bear, so it's probably for the best. Wouldn't want to piss off any omnivores today.

Haanta: Reporting for Duty, Sirs/Ma'ams!

Haanta:
Head: Helm of the Soothing Currents
Shoulders: Conqueror's Scourgestaulker Spaulders
Chestpiece: Earthpeace Breastplate
Belt: Vicious Gladiator's Links of Accuracy
Leggings: Hornblower's Legguards
Back: Tapestry of the Frozen Throne
Wrist:  Glowworm Cavern Bindings
Gloves: Mistshround Gauntlets
Feet: *Treads of Malorne - these may end up throwing everything off, but I own these, and have sentimental reasons for incorporating them. The hemp rope detail, the layers of blue/green complement the other hues in this overall look.
Polearm: Marrowstrike
Bow: Crypt Fiend Slayer: own this, thanks to one of my tribesmen! (And never use guns, ever.)

It is my belief that no knowledge goes to waste. In the process of research, came across this link:
http://www.wowwiki.com/Category:World_of_Warcraft_bows

Drabble: Doyle Riders

At evening tide, Haanta dutifully went hunting for blackened dragonscales, as her guild contribution. Stepping through soot and ground obsidian glass phased her none, her own hide toughened and battle-scarred. But this scene of carnage shook her: a gruesome encounter with dragons, feasting on the bodies of Doyle Gryphon Riders and their faithful mounts. She bid Tora to her side, kneeling over one fallen dwarf. Tora obeyed commands of “leave it.” She said a prayer to ease his passing, resolved to slay the dragons and dragonkin. All the dragons’ blood would never bring them back, but no more would fall.

Loco para dama de rojo...

Oh, my friend - thank you so much -- if both of us don't have nightmares about Jaina and Arthas chasing us through ice tunnels, I'd be surprised. The third time was indeed the charm to get my bow for Haanta, and I scrounged through the sale rack at the Auction House for things she could equip in themes of red:

I am off to dinner, and my friend is off to the fair. Hard to describe that I am truly, simply, just having fun again --and I haven't even gotten a monkey yet.

theme songs: Loco por Juana
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9nV4oBy0_q8
Tu Sabes Muy Bien (La Nalga)

No regrets.

Nothing like a good old-fashioned night fight...

I have no regrets about not studying for the 4.3 Patch--last night was a blast. Got through most of the new dungeons easy-breezy, and wasn't too distracted by how beautiful they are. I can see how they can become tiresome later, but that is always the way, and not my problem now. Plenty of new content to learn and play. If I have any regrets at all it may be that I did play grasshopper a bit too much when others were being ants, but really, not sure it matters. I don't like to farm, and making a lot of gold doesn't appear to be a big priority for me. I do wish I could have glammed up with some new things I bought, but ya know? In time. It's all about the pacing for me. 


But, thought it was time to review the patch notes. These are the items that are important to my shaman, Mataoka "Please call me Matty and No I won't be an Elemental Shaman but Might Try to Heal You," Zeptepi the Confused Holy/Shadow Priest, Luperci the Reluctant Paladin, Haanta the Hillbilly Huntress, and Magadora "the Gas Tank" Mage. 


Some love:
Enhancement

• Improved Lava Lash now causes Lava Lash to spread a Flame Shock debuff from the target to up to 4 nearby targets. This excludes crowd-controlled targets and those who already have a Flame Shock debuff from the shaman.
• Improved Lava Lash no longer increases base Lava Lash damage by 15/30%. This increase has been rolled into the base Lava Lash skill.
• Mental Quickness has been redesigned. Instead of granting the shaman spell power, Mental Quickness now causes Enhancement shaman spells to behave as though the shaman has spell power equal to 55% of attack power. Enhancement shaman spells no longer benefit from spell power from other sources.
• Maelstrom Weapon can now also proc from fully absorbed melee attacks.

This I probably should have known:


Wind Shear's base cooldown has been adjusted to 15 seconds, up from 6 seconds.
Oops. That would have come in handy during a certain rainbow dinner party fight.


Oh, guess I'm not so dumb after all: Mages

• Mages
  • Pyroblast's initial damage has been increased by approximately 26%, and its damage over time has been increased by approximately 100%.
  • Fireball damage has been increased by approximately 17%.
  • Talent Specializations
    • Fire
      • Living Bomb damage over time has been increased by approximately 10%, and explosion damage has been increased by approximately 120%.

Official Hour of Twilight Patch Notes


Blood Diamonds: Dangit, Blizzard. Why'd you have to go and make access to the wealth so much like real life? And with pepper spray, too?


I'm already enhanced. 


Thank you RNGs: 

• Zul'Gurub
  • Players now only have to kill two of the four initial dungeon bosses (High Priest Venoxis, Broodlord Mandokir, High Priestess Kilnara, and Zanzil) to face Jin'do the Godbreaker.
• Zul'Aman
  • Players now only have to kill two of the four Troll avatars before they may face Hex Lord Malacrass.

And a few "What the hells?": (Did I even have these spells? What the heck have I been doing?!)

• • Priest - Holy 
    • Spirit of Redemption has been rebuilt to address a few functionality issues and make it more responsive. Spirit of Redemption otherwise remains unchanged.
    • State of Mind has been redesigned and is now called Heavenly Voice. Heavenly Voice increases the healing done by Divine Hymn by 50/100%, and reduces the cooldown of Divine Hymn by 2.5/5 minutes.
    • Guardian Spirit's healing bonus has been increased to 60%, up from 40%.
    • Holy Word: Serenity now has a cooldown of 10 seconds, down from 15 seconds.

Paladins (I don't think I've ever understood my hammers from my seals...yikes.)

• Holy Radiance now has a 3.0-second cast time, no cooldown, and requires a player target. That target is imbued with Holy Radiance, which heals them and all group members within 10 yards instantly, and continues to heal them by a smaller amount every 1 second for 3 seconds.

• Seal of Insight, when Judged, no longer returns 15% base mana to the paladin. Judging Seal of Insight still causes damage, and melee attacks will still restore 4% of base mana.

• Seal of Truth, when Judged, now benefits from a multiplier of 20% per stack of Censure, up from 10%.

Oh, I know one little dwarf hunter who is going to be PISSED: The achievement Tol Barad Veteran now requires 25 victories in Tol Barad, down from 100.


Here is the cautionary tale: If you begin to grumble about the grind of the game, all you need to do is stop grinding. Goals are wonderful to have, but when they lose their original purpose, they cease to bring happiness. That's right, grasshopper. You just got fabled.


Yes, content of this post liberally borrowed from joystiq.

Drabble: Survivor

The summer months had been fat and lazy, like an overripe blackberry that didn’t reach its promotion to lips, tongue, or tummy. Summer lies. Before the rains, before the snow, the sun pretended as if nothing was wrong, that it had been strong, and in command all along. Haanta and Sweater went into the fire zone. It was probably too late. Seasons were changing, and they had missed their target. The huntress put her face in the bear’s rough yet comforting fur. He smelled like pine needles, salt, and scorched earth. Always protecting her, the beast and beauty: winter approached.

Sure shot.

Well...after leveling one silly shaman from 1 to 80, and then 80 to 85, this seems a tiny bit anti-climatic, like seeing a movie when you know a spoiler, or reading the last pages of a murder mystery, but this does deserve a bit of pomp and circumstance, perhaps...

da-da- DAAAA: 

Haanta, the Huntress, is level 85!

I feel that, even more so than Matty, Haanta belongs to a group effort. Between knowing expert hunters, and a master leather worker, she had a tunic, cloak, and belt waiting for her; the right polearm (Lucky dwarf! Going to put you on a keychain!), and a necklace in storage, too.

But now the fun really begins. Grinding rep through the new Cata factions, getting those Ugh (Ugg) boots from the hippies in Mt. Hyjal, and a whole lot of drinking with dwarfs in Twilight. Good thing she already has her hair pulled back for the ensuing spew fest.

I know others are more adept at this, but when I switch from enh shaman to survival hunter, the transition is tricky. I either want to run up and pistol whip everything with my gun or stand back and glare at monsters with my fist weapon. I find that I am not great when a mob runs up to me, nor am I great at judging melee distances. Jack-of-all-trades, master of none time?

One concession I made with Haanta is her dual specs: she is survival and beast mastery. I'm in good company: http://forthebubbles.wordpress.com/2010/10/12/four-point-oh-noes-the-bm-hunter/ Figured I might as well have some fun getting cool pets in between PUG moments when I'm called names for being a huntard. And a pre-apology and warning to my expert hunter friends: the expression "you'll shoot your eye out" was created for me.


This is a horrible recording, but you'll get the point: Beastie Boys/Sure Shot