On the level...

Purse dump post trip: this is going to be one of "those" posts
(this did get cleaned up, by the way)

Levels....so many levels...

While I was busy cavorting with caverns, many in-depth bloggers weighed in on the leveling question. I'll get to that in a minute, but here is Bear's first one, and follow-up, and Tome's, and Matticus'. I thought the question may have been misplaced, or perhaps there is another consideration about leveling: it's not the pace, it's the "birth order" if you will. Each character has begun, or been deleted, changed, moved, etc. for unique reasons. So perhaps the better question is, "why did you start this character in the first place?"

Who are you?

Smoke and mirrors, baby...smoke and mirrors...

Matticus started a series of "Behind the Scenes" about bloggers he admires, sort of a 'who's who' behind the keyboard when the keys aren't being used to lightning bolt lightning bolt. This made me think of a few things, one is -- what the hell am I doing, and why does anyone even stop by this blog? No, don't get me wrong - I'm not challenging you to stay away, I love you guys. I'm sure Navi has long decided I'm TL:DR (I am) and I may have annoyed a few folks, too. I don't have any good advice on WoW, I don't know how to level pets, or find fish, or down heroic raid bosses, or heck, I don't even know how to function in a guild with more than three people! I am going to have to slash-and-burn my computer over the next week, and start all over again, wiping everything clean, my game mouse was handed over years ago to young leet druid, more often than not there is a stack of bills staring at me while I ignore them and stare at Azuremyst, and I'm not all that friendly. During our trip, my sister-in-law, who is an extremophile introvert, was shocked, and not in any way kidding, when I told her I needed to be by myself at times. She assumed, and blatantly told me, that she thought with my job, personality, etc. that I "feed" off of other people.

Um.

No. If anything, at times I'm the one who's scraping off the barnacles and swimming for that rock to hide under. That's how I give energy and time back, when I can recharge. Did she imagine my big personality standing in the center of the three-ring circus 24/7, just waiting for each new audience, never once taking a bathroom break or plucking my eyebrows? Guess not. Interesting: there have been many times this past year or two I've described my life as "fish bowl," floating poop and all.

This made me wonder about all the misconceptions between introverts/extroverts, but I'll ponder that another time. My brother-in-law brought up an interesting personality test, the DISC. He uses this to make necessary snap judgments. He immediately said I am a strong "D" - dominance and "I" - influence. Rarely am I conscientious about things (this is where CD Rogue and I differ, and yes, it does cause some friction, but the C's are vital to getting things done right; the "Ds" such as myself are vital to getting them done at all). The thing my bro-in-law said about "Ds" that really struck home was "they are comfortable with anger."

Damn.

Wonder how this applies to guild management? If a raid team has a house of "Ds" but needs some "Ss" - that would be an interesting guild recruitment ad:

"The Freudians" seeking talented raiders, IL 566+, experienced 12/12, only C (conscientious/compliance) players who follow rules and plan everything, RL is a "D" and will make all decisions, no "I" players wanted (no drama) and one shammy/druid healer "S" to keep things stable.

The thing is--I create most of my own obstacles. Pathologically I create things that seem like they're stopping me from doing whatever it is supposedly I proclaim is important to me. For example, CD Rogue and I had a disagreement over space: he has it, I don't. Well, I do, but it's more public, and I always have to "just ask" if I want privacy, quiet, or time to collect my thoughts, or even just play WoW has loudly as I want. He'll say, "You were just playing your game, so I didn't think blasting David Letterman from the next room was a big deal." And then when I tell him he never has to make that choice, I am the petty one, but he does emphasize that he'll do whatever I ask. I just don't want to have to ask, because asking leads to demanding, and demanding leads to bad publicity. So, up early in the morning am I, said in my Yoda voice. Where's Mrs. Yoda, I wonder? Did she take the tadpoles and move to Wisconsin to work as a university professor of early Tatooine literature? Point: I should just shut up and write, move, go to the library, whatever. Maybe Mrs. Yoda can meet me for tea.

What were you talking about?

So, back to the question: Do I think leveling is too easy?

Answer: Yes and no. The leveling is dependent upon the motivations for the game character.

Sometimes I use the Remote App for WoW. I say sometimes because it is damn distracting. Its greatest features are the screenshots it takes of characters, and the remote auction house. I can blindly post things to the AH without all that nagging, "I might need this someday" angst.

And I counted my characters:
Priests: 9
Shamans: 7
Warriors: 6
Warlocks: 5
Monks: 5
Hunters: 4
Mages: 4
Rogue: 3
Death Knights: 2
Druids: 2

and one paladin:

Luperci.

Luperci the Brave, the Beautiful, the Broken. I worked so very, very hard on her in Cataclysm. Tanking through every nerd-raging, angry, bored player, learning every nuance of every dungeon. Too afraid and intimidated to learn to tank through raids, somehow I never found the guild/group who was going to be patient with me while I learned. I remember making a mistake once and being told "YOU WIPED THE RAID!" but with the male tanks, the patience levels were much higher: "That's okay, try again, you do this, okay?" Forget the scantily-clad gear: the real sexism is far more subtle than size 40-DD breastplates. Somehow, knowing what I am doing when I am in charge of children, car repairs, bill paying, yard and house maintenance is fine, but God help me if I don't turn a boss the right way once. Suffice it to say, Lupe has been on the shelf this expansion. She is a lost soul. Of all the ways to level, raising a tank is probably the hardest. I would say that I don't have the time, but like eating right and exercise, if I really WANTED to find the time, I would for her. The only person who had patience with me was my friend Turk, and for that I want to thank him. He helped me get through the Zuls, and understand more of the intricacies of tanking, though he himself doesn't have a paladin - he does however know his stuff, and this game, very well.

I have always felt though, that it doesn't have to be "hard." At least not emotionally. I have wished for simulations of raids, etc. where I can get my hands on a character and test things out. Not training dummies, and not by watching other videos, but a proving ground of sorts. What? What did you say?! Maybe my wish came true?!

Identification, please

So who am I? Will a Matticus ever be interested in interviewing someone like me? Probably not, and that's a good thing. I get to spill my inner purse contents all over the floor on this blog, sort through it, and have some time to think. It's my Play-Doh. I wish I could offer more game advice, but alas, that is not my area of expertise. I am the Queen of Half-Done Projects and Wishful Thinking. Fact is, I love playing WoW, and I have a great life, real and imaginary. Welcome to my mushroom: take a tiny bite and enjoy the trip.*



*No, you dorks, I am not condoning drug use -- it's a metaphor.

Postscript: I considered putting a picture of myself that CD Rogue took on our trip. But real photos are deceiving. Many of my friends and family on Facebook made fun of me, cause I'm wearing CD Rogue's hat that could be mistaken for a park ranger hat; my nose is its Scottish-German lumpiness, my eyes a little squinty, and I look kind of tough. My dad said I looked beautiful but with my inner determination. My husband thinks I'm beautiful (unless I'm asking for something), so I guess beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder, and situational. We can't control how others see us; we can barely manage our own inner mirrors.

Theme song: Inspired by Arvash:

Green Day/Basket Case

And courtesy of Dahakha:

The Avalanches - Frontier Psychologist

Expulsion is the only answer...haha!

Mother Nature's Daughter, all the same...

Well, Luperci did not bring home the trophy for September's Neri Approves transmog contest.

The Blood Elf did.

/shrug

Moving on - still really like what Luperci put together. But more importantly, I like to bring awareness to the Born That Way Foundation.  Though I had heard about it, I was prompted to donate by a tweet of Lodur's: http://wayofthetotem.com/2012/09/20/a-call-to-arms-with-incentive/

I am telling you truth: I know teenagers and adults who have been affected, and died, as a direct result of bullying and harrassment over who they fundamentally are. I am waiting for the day when it's a nonissue. We have other things to worry about than who someone chooses to love.

And Jill - for whatever reasons you chose almost thirty years ago, I wish you had stuck around to see how much things have changed, and how you could have helped. Maybe somehow you are.

Theme Song: Born This Way/Lady Gaga

Neri Approves: Mother Nature's Daughter

This month's Neri Approves is a theme of natural beauty.  Please vote for your favorite paladin, Luperci.


There is something Neri wrote that is not quite accurate, at least for Luperci. I do have a Druid, a very beautiful one, Momokawa, but in choosing who would best represent the true call of nature, Luperci was the clear choice. (No offense, Druids, but that's kind of low-hanging fruit from your own treant form....) No, I joke--really.

But Luperci--Luperci's story:

Luperci is a Paladin, a Protection Paladin. She has been increasingly dissatisfied with her work in the cities and harsh, choking dangers in dungeons. She never felt so worthy, so valued, as she did when she was working with Tauren, Night Elves, and her ancestors, in Zangermarsh. She earned her exalted reputation with the Cenarion Expedition in order to earn the blacksmithing skills to make her own Wildguard legguards and chest, which she wears proudly. The Guardians are grateful for her strength and kindness, and know she is truly meant to be a protector of the earth, water, and air, and will walk with the Earth Mother till the end of her days. She is seen speaking with her comrade and dear friend, a Cenarion Warden. 

Helm: N/A

Mace: Gurubashi Punisher

Shield: Her pride and joy, a gift from a beloved friend in Darnassus, who fell during the cataclysm: Emerald Shield

Gloves: Fel Iron Gloves

Waist: Rickety Belt

Leg: Wildguard Legguards

Chest: Wildguard Chest

Feet: Emerald Sabatons

And, in Luperci's narrative, she is a bisexual, and her character is modeled after a very dear friend of mine, who is one of the most honest, brave, and 'champions of the underdogs" I have been honored to know. I am planning on some sort of donation for this, but am only saying that NOT to get your votes - I truly want Luperci to win on her own merits. Besides, I have probably insulted all of Elune's children with my tiny jab up there, so -- like a politician on a bad, unintended YouTube video, I am sorry. Regardless, I saw this on Twitter, and this is a cause that is very important to me: (click image for link)

So, please go vote. Vote for Luperci. And do something good today.

Postcript: Since I seem to be on a roll for offending elves, consider the beauty found in a few curves.

Theme song: Mother Nature's Son/The Beatles

Dear Azeroth: Why We Hate to Tank

It's more fun to play warlocks anyway: be careful what you wish for, Azeroth.

Nine times out of ten when I hit the Dungeon Finder the goody bag is up for tanks. Sometimes healers too, but not nearly as often. That bag sure is pretty. It's like a big blue embersilk bag, made of the finest materials, pregnant with the promise of gold, gems, and maybe, a puppy! I have received a mulgore hatchling and a hyacinth parrot while playing Zeptepi healing, but usually just gold and an unnecessary flask for Luperci Who Is Not a Fail Tank. But, like a lottery ticket, it sure does have potential, and since the odds are if Luperci looks, sure enough, the bag is offered.

I put Luperci to the side a while ago. My goal is to have 4000JP for each of my favorite characters by the time Mists hits. Mataoka is there, and so is Luperci: Zeptepi isn't far behind, the trailers being Ceniza and Momokawa. Momo is still stubbornly refusing to go into LFR after umpteen thousand failed final platforms. I was looking around at some items for Luperci, and spent some of her JP on HP things, and to make up the deficit, saw sure enough, goody bag meets time - off we go.

The new protection paladin set up is still a bit of a mystery to me, but only because I haven't spent any time studying it, and it seemed unnecessarily confusing before, and more simple now. In other words, at first glance, the changes of simplification seem good. And, like a good little paladin, if I see a druid in the group, I hit Blessings of Might.

I am quickly told that because there is a shaman in the group, my blessing is superfluous due to shaman mastery.* Not the word he used, but you get the idea. I asked why, to no answer. In fact, any question I asked this little warrior, or the group, was met with stony silence. They were having a grand conversation with the mage about his combustion. So imagine walking into a car show and everyone is talking hemis and carburetors, and you just want to know about tires.

The rogue fight, and the smoke, and the slow movement out, etc. Little warrior jumps right in and pulls the boss the second she drops to the ground, and though I was ready and pulled her too, he dies a few seconds later, and then of course, it's my fault, can't hold aggro, can't do anything right, etc. Tanks suck, blah blah blah, and then another player pipes in and says "Well he's better than the other 14 I've had today."

I am wondering: at what point does a player perhaps look in the mirror and stop blaming others? Oh, you wacky generation of no accountability and it's someone else's fault: I blame your parents. (See what I did there?) They told you it was the coach's fault for benching you. Or the teacher's fault for your F. Or your mother's fault. Or your father's fault. But maybe, just maybe, if you were the tank and pulled the boss, little warrior, you would have been okay? And maybe, just maybe, little warrior, if you weren't the tank and pulled the boss with your mighty aggro and died, it just might be your fault? Ain't gonna bubble azzhats, sorry.

And--why is it ALWAYS WARRIORS?!?!

Sigh.

Well, it's his repair bill, not mine. I got 74 gold out of the goody bag, and an inferno ruby.

BUT--that tale of griping leads me back to my original question: what is it about shamans and mastery now? How have the totem changes affected shamans? Anyone want to weigh in and give me their thoughts on this? I'm seriously considering going more full-time restoration on Mataoka, and would love to know your thoughts:

*Resto Shaman Mastery, Pandarian Style: http://lifeingroup5.com/?p=2965

Theme Song: See It No Other Way/Slighty Stoopid
Theme Song II: Handlebars/Flobots

Postscript: Maybe I'll start kicking warriors out of hand in Portuguese. Going to make my macro now:

Parar de puxar o chefe, ou eu vou chutar.

Toxic mana.

Winna Needs No Biohazard Sign, but sometimes I do.

I am about to stop and go make myself a cocktail. Probably one like my grandmother used to drink, hell, maybe even Scotch, sans the Pall Malls and deep Southern drawl.

Why, Matty? Bad day. No, not at all. Spent WAY too much time worrying about Canada, and Australia, and my friends, and all the stuff I have to do, and then decided to shove it all over and try to get Heartichoke as far along to exalted with the Alliance Vanguard so she could buy her chopper schematics before the big pandas roll into town, among other real life events.

Maybe that is my problem: I try to delineate between real life and game life. It is a breathing human who sits here and multitasks and games, or hell, just games. This is the life. And I know I should more be thick-skinned when this exchange happens while I'm playing Luperci, Who Is Not A Fail Tank:

We were in Well of Eternity. That first boss, the big satyr-but-not-wiser guy, I offered to eat the eyeballs, all was fine, but right when he spawned again it was right on top of the healer and I mistyped and didn't get aggro fast enough, and she/he was one-shotted. I have never seen a shaman healer go down so fast. I got a bit "WTF TANK?" and I apologized and said my typing went awry. Note the word "awry." It is important for this next part.

Then, onward, everyone up, start the hallway trash on our way to Azshara, and I'll be damned! I'm dying! I had to use LOH on trash!?

So: I said this (notice I did not take the screenshot in instance)

Spam____ passive/aggressively chose to "punish" my mistake.

And I am telling you all right now: I know some of you do this. I know some of you rage like this in guildchats, tradechats, between you and your leet friends, and judge, judge, judge. 

Stop it.

(And no, I'm not talking about you, but I am talking about you.)

After this exchange I told them to "Have a nice day," and left the party. But note, I didn't do it immediately. I thought about it, and then asked myself, "What would Big Bear do?" A tip of the hat, and out he would go.

Now, the 'woman' part of me (or gee, just human nature?) thinks, "Damn them! They got a new tank, and no one died, and they think I suck! They are justified in their thinking, in their actions, and are rewarded for their bad behavior! But, alas, this is what we all live with now-- the outrageous and snotty are rewarded, hell, they even get their own TV shows.

Should I have made the mistake? No. Was there a solar flare, butter on my fingers, or stepped on a rock, and sun got in my eyes? Yes. But guess what, Troup Meanbutts from Malfurion: I am not paid major league dollars to make your dungeon experience flawless, anymore than you are paid big bucks to make my experience perfection. It is my job to know the fights, do the best I can, and anticipate as much as I can, which I do. What if I had a degenerative disease? What there was a phone call, or the dog barked? What if an asteroid hit my house? How about this: instead of assuming I am purposely trying to ruin your day, why don't you pull your head out of your ass and enjoy the view?

But Spam, my child, my blog is becoming full of the toxicity that players like you spew. I am going to make a promise to myself, and my friends: this is my last angry post for at least...a week. Okay. Two. Two weeks. No angry posts until September 1. And maybe by then, I won't have any.

In the meantime: Heartichoke is trying just to get some soup:

Damn, rough crowd.

Theme song; Soft Cell/ Tainted Love

Rookie.

The other night, just hanging out, Luperci got called off the bench to tank. (Stomach clutch!) I have all kinds of excuses, but excuses they are indeed: I am just not prepared to tank. I leveled her solely as a protection paladin from the get-go, only recently sneaking into LFRs as a healer (she has the gear -- relax, ragers) and to see what that is like. I just couldn't seem to get the hang of retribution, all spinny-crazy-zealotry and blasting out demons stuff.

I have almost zero experience raiding with Lupe. Let's just say, that during one fight, the RL said, very nicely, and in no way critical, he didn't have time to teach me to deal with this finicky boss or fight mechanics, but he wished he did. And, a few weeks ago, my GM mentioned how much he would like to help train a tank, and I wish he did have time. Luperci (caution: going into third-person detached from self mode) could be a good tank, heck, maybe even a great one. But as time goes by, I see this character, along with my hunter, sliding further and further down the bench. I was also thinking that learning how to play in Azeorth is just as much of a journey as why. But then there is the 'what.' 

I...am not a good tank.

But the question is: Can I be, and do I want to be?

In truth, it was Navi's post that sparked my thoughts back again to tanking. http://frostwolves.blogspot.com/2012/08/transitioning-from-healer-to-tank.html

There are some players who seem to know everything about every character and every build and every spell, and are free to share their "insights" with you at every move. I remember the story I told of my role as the Christmas Fairy when I knew everyone else's lines. I was six or seven, after all, and a complete expert. But I don't want the advice from players who have been in the stands, I need true experts. Not generic elementary school teachers: I need a niche professor.

I don't play Lupe that much--but I want to. I think. I do. Really. But it is the Gladstone's 10,000 hours again. You all probably don't remember what it was like to learn how to drive a car, or tie your shoes even, or become potty trained--I mean, how far back can I go, to what is effortless to you now? I know what I am supposed to do to keep aggro, or heal myself, or gather monsters and mobs. But those bubbles aren't totally second nature to me, and for a protection paladin that's kind of like saying you're a fisherman but aren't sure which end of the pole the bait goes on. It is an integral part of the class.

So--what to do?

Just had a conversation today about my status in WoW, or lack thereof. I told this young leet it wasn't about being the "world's best" but I still had a right to enjoy playing. Just because I'm not getting a gold medal doesn't mean I can't swim or ride a bike. Some people see the world in very contrasting shades, but I'm still sliding along with greys (no, not fifty).

Lupe is at the point where I have plateaued on my ability to increase knowledge without further help. So, gentlemen: Your assistance please. When you have time.


Thought this was another great post by MMO:

http://www.mmomeltingpot.com/2012/08/the-other-the-ultimate-boss-fight/

SUPERSTAR! Or, St. Mary Katherine Gallagher

I was joking yesterday that I need a new novena candle, one I can light when I am in cranky-pants mode, regretting social entanglements, and pray to the Goddess of Hors d'oeuvres and Social Graces, the goddess to whom one prays to when feeling less than amicable, less than cheerful, and repressing the urge to yell "Get these mothereffffffingwarriorsofffmymothereffffffffffingpug!"

Too much life stress is like too much of anything--it will inevitably spill over and leave stains. It just does. No matter how much we try to contain anxiety or stress, it kicks and spins into our sleep, our walks, our play time, and meditative moments. It cries, and must be changed and fed.

To that end, here are my rants. Walk away now. It's going to smell bad.

Raiding: (And my neutral feelings on Chuck Norris)

Last Wednesday it dawned on me that I was the only female in our group. It meant nothing. I was near the top in DPS, did what I was supposed to do, and everyone did. It was a great night. We had a wonderful healer come back, and I hope he doesn't get bored with this team's learning-the-ropes mode.

Wait, was there a rant associated with this? No, actually. On the last attempt, however, the game bugged out, dragging our wonderful rogue into the briny depths of the maelstrom, out of range for rescue. We call in the helicopters and fire department, but alas, he was gone. We almost had it too, but almost and game bugs don't count. But I am heartened to know if we are on our game on Monday, and I plan on it, we will succeed, and then move onto tougher challenges.

I work in a predominately female-populated career. No, not a stripper, (I know, you wish). Was it pleasant or different to be the only woman? Honestly, didn't really notice, until I did, and it didn't seem to change the dynamic much. At least the gentlemen didn't seem to mind, or care, which is the good thing. I am not a Queen Bee type, I just want to play, and hold my own.

Cataclysm Dungeon Hero and the Mount

This is how it went: I fell off the damn camel again. I died and lost my lightening stacks at a critical moment. I got frostbite. I got eaten by crocs. Of the six ones I needed, I managed to get two done, which was great, the I Hate That Song one, thanks to a guildmate's instructions, the the Acropolypse Now one. These adventures into Achievement Land without my buddy Kaylyne left me very cranky, and I was misunderstood a lot yesterday. I have days like that. No matter what I try to say or type, it gets misunderstood, talked-over, or not heard. After my fail attempt at not getting bucked by that damn camel, I said I would come back with others, stating that in PUGS it was tough to get folks to go to the camel place. It was misunderstood that I was being whiny and pout-y, that they were more than happy to come back and help me, but that is not what I was fishing for. I was trying to say I do not mind coming back with other friends and trying again, but was not going to PUG that one. I also am mad at myself for becoming "that player." A sweet guildmate kept mispronouncing my name, "Muttkah" or something like that, and I tried to say nicely, "Just call me Matty," but everything I said or typed got left-footed wonky. This is a brain fact: Brains love patterns. If you get lost going some place, even when you find it, your brain will want to go the wrong direction again. If I call someone by their incorrect name or proununcation, even when I practice it, it will still come out wrong. It's why mothers call their children by the wrong names. It was no big deal, but then I didn't mean to make it a big deal, just wanted to be called "Matty." Stupid me.

Here is a screenshot of my repair bill for the day's events:

And, I am still not given guild repair, calendar event, or title status yet. I know...patience young Padawan, patience. 

The Sporeggar

Somehow in the beginnings of my nubbiness, I may have killed a little Spore guy, you know, by mistake, once or twice. They hate me. So, to make amends, today I thought I would go down to Zangermarsh, kill the bogs, and make the Spore happy. I never noticed this, but the bog creatures spend a lot of time sniffing their armpits:

Don't you wish everyone would use Dial?

I am so intent on making these little guys my friends, I set up my hearth in Telredor:

Looks spa-ish to me!

Luperci and the Use of Leap of Faith

I cannot believe I am going to even write this. Never in my wildest dreams would I have to tell a priest not to use Leap of Faith on Luperci will holding aggro on a mob. And then be told I AM THE FAIL TANK. The Druid who replaced the warrior was justifying it, too...gods help me now please.

Yes, and warrior, you got kicked because you forgot you didn't queue as a tank. Again. Again. And again.

That last run left me shaking mad. Blizzard: Thank you for the goodie bags for tanks and healers, cause right about now, they are the only thing that is keeping me logging in to see how Lupe is doing. But most of the goodie bags are filled with Jordan's almonds from the bottom of an old lady's purse and day-old Juicy Fruit. No thanks. Next time a healer uses LOF on me not once, but twice, in a run, you'd better give me a damn title or achievement, or a dragon mount just because I showed up. And I still held aggro.

The thing that sticks in my craw is players that think they know every damn thing. Growth thinking, people!! Be fluid, plastic, and flexible in your chi, dudes. And a big nod to the hunter who knew what he was doing. I could have kissed your misdirect.

So my dear friends, tell me I am a superstar. Tell me I rock. Tell me you love me. Or at least light a candle and say a prayer for me. I think when I log in next, I'll put on the Busy Sign, and help the Spores out until I am less stinky.

Theme Song: Superstar (sniffing armpits optional)

Postscript:

I also forgot to mention that everyone knows I do not want to see MoP stuff, but somehow do not mind reading about Theramore. I see Theramore's lore as an extension of current game play, not new materials. Just wanted to clarify that, if anyone cares. Which they don't.

Also, great article: http://preciousandsoft.tumblr.com/post/26657080694/the-smart-kids-arent-the-only-smart-kids

Word for a paladin...

Saw this a few days ago from Visual Thesaurus:

How perfect is that?! Palliative! Lupe is definitely something that is a "remedy that alleviates pain without curing!"

Hole-In-Bucket List

Luperci V. Warlock

In my usual deft Johnny-Come-Lately style, I too have a malformed bucket list of sorts for the next few weeks in Azeroth.

But there are obstacles as I'm going up that hill.

Luperci drops the bucket

A colleague of mine was searching for an important book yesterday. This is a book we share that helps us all, an important tome in our arsenal. No one has seen this book for months. Not only that, but we have two copies of it. Now, I will take some responsibility for its loss. I was supposed to be in charge of it. But my excuse is, because others were put in charge of it by those in charge to help our charges I lost charge of it. (There is a mental flowchart I graphed in my head this morning at 4:30 of all of this.)

Why worry about a misplaced book? Well, that is just one thing out of a hundred that's on my mind right now. So when I layer "game goals' on top of it, displacing my past performances of over-achieve-yness with achievements in Azeroth, it feels somewhat...tainted? I guess what I am trying to say is I like the surprises in Azeroth, because surprises in my real world seldom come with red balloons and cake. They usually come with cold coffee and grumpy e-mails.

But, it's June 1st. Do you know where your list is?

Here is a sketch of mine, just to keep some kind of track of the "Oh yeah, I meant to do that!":

• Go back to Ulduar and see if I can get the weapon
• Finish off Ragnaros
• Not die in the bird fire in Firelands
• Finish the Cataclysm Hero for the mount (only have like 6 more to do, and most in Vortex)
• Finish off the earlier Cata raids (haven't completed a single one)
• Finish off Fireland's rep
• Finish off Kirin Tor
• Get to exalted with a few more factions, and see if Matty can get that title
• Save 5000 gold (shush, you)
• Level Momo to 85
• Level Kélda to 75 (and stay at her three deaths)
• Plan a "Road Rally" event
• Finish the Professor title, and get Tyrande's Doll before it's outdated and has to go on the shelf
• Get Zep her halo

Theme Song: Every Morning/Sugar Ray

Postscript::

But when I toss up questions to the game gods, I usually get great responses: http://turkeyrogue.blogspot.com/2012/05/handful-of-scripts_8599.html

In "Destiny of the Pole" stories:
This really, really upset Cross-Dressing Rogue. It is fairly awful (slurp/mocha frappucinno/slurp)

Just because...

Sometimes, you just want to look hot, even if only virtually, and vicariously:

Lupe in disguise...

I cannot begin to tell you how inversely disproportionate my "to-do" list was this weekend and how magnificently I failed at 'real life.' I am sitting here facing a very harsh Monday morning with way too much to do in the next 24 hours, and same for Tuesday...and Wednesday...etc.

And yet, somehow, I justified falling down the rabbit hole, hell, I dove in head-first.

Recently I read a thread from I Like Bubbles' author on Twitter that was choking with resentment over being a grown-up. My dear girl, I completely, totally understand. Part of my recent hissy-fits with my boss came from complete resentment and frustration over someone simply not doing his/her job, but making my job(s) more unecessarily complicated. People throw their demands and delegations out there like unwanted children. Big responsibility comes with snotty noses.

Somehow I got the hair-brained idea that I would make Lupe into a healer. It's a plan that still just might work! My friend Ran got me VP bracers and boots, I re-specialized  (always nice to visit the paladins in the cathedral), and gathered a few more pieces with justice points.

Now--why this plan? Well, I am not sure. Discussing this on a walk yesterday, I just can't quit you, Lupe. Of all the characters --well, I'll get to that in a moment.

So, off I go, into LFR, just the final Deathwing phase, with 1900 spirit (good thing I didn't look at that before I went!), tanking helm, necklace, belt, ring, ring, trinkets, and shield, everything else poorly gemmed and unenchanted plate healing gear. Of course I ran out of mana like a hobo with a brown paper sack cocktail on a Saturday night! These numbers exists for a reason. But the group was solid--really solid. I healed fine, and it only got a little dicey toward the end. But karma, she is a bitch--I was hoping for the magical drop of a healing mace, or better yet, a tanking mace, but alas, of course not. Nothing. Now before I go in there I actually need to get more healing gear.

Now for those of you who would judge, I am not sure you are aware of my title, "Queen of Rationalization:"

• I have been in LFR so many times with Zep, Matty, and Cen: my experiences have ranged from wipe, rogues pulling bosses, poor healers, no trinket drops (yesterday while healing on Matty the VIAL OF SHADOWS dropped, and a 8K Druid got it. ARRRRRRGH!!!!) and no one switches targets though the Machine Gods tell them to. I know, clicking a button is hard work.
• It is intended for gear, valor points, and watered-down preview of fights. Having done them so many times and then stepping a hoof into a "real" normal DS was helpful, but not totally.
• I have witnessed player after player cheat, follow, double-box, grab loot they didn't need, use, or whatever when others really did.
• Every time anything goes wrong, the tank(s) is blamed. Period.

Which brings me back to Lupe.

She is a beautiful young paladin. She will gladly slam her face into any monster, boss, mob, so you don't have to mess up that pretty weapon of yours. And for her efforts, she is criticized, undermined, over-worked, and under-valued. And I just didn't want to expose her to the riff-raff that is public raiding. 

(Gee, project much, Matty?)

I have often said of all my characters, her role as a protection paladin is most like my real life. If "she" wants to push a few holy light buttons and try to get some decent tanking and healing gear (yes, because healing is kind of cool, and are always welcome to the party), then who are you to judge? 

Right now Amateur, Navi, Tome, Matticus, Jaded Alt, etc. all have posts that have sparked my imagination. Matticus is writing about blogging, the others are creating superheroes, and everyone seems to be having a lovely time out there in the world. 

I am not. Well, not all of the real world, anyway. 

Did I wasted 24-hours of play time on a Quixotic lost cause? Perhaps. But that rabbit hole was charming, and my friends were there, and there were a few successes. 

Oh wait -- did I mention: my friends were there? 

Yes--and it was the weekend. And what else are weekends for but to chill, relax, and laugh? 

Postscript: Lupe is accepting donations of crafted healing plate gear. Send any gifts of charity to: Luperci of Whisperwind, PO Box Dwarf Bank Mail Box, Stormwind, Azeroth

My baby, she wrote me a letter!

Here's to Tome and Navi, who crossed over hill, dale, servers, and International Date Lines to send me some Azeroth post! So much nicer than the usual bills from the Auction House and demands for ebonsteel belt buckles from [my] other characters.

I can't tell you how much the right words at the right time mean to me.

To all my good friends, in Azeroth and out, I'm a very lucky lady indeed.

Theme song: I'm Gonna Sit Right Down and Write Myself A Letter

Postscript: Silly Druid! It was still in the mailbox!

Luperci goes to the dark side...

In a conversation with a sweet friend, he/she asked me if I was like "Matty." Yes, in many, many ways I am, I guess.

But, in real life, my job, is most like Luperci. Yes, in real life I am a paladin. 

I aggro mobs, fight bosses, dodge trash and parry monsters. I hammer, hold, wrangle, and block. All. The. Damn. Time.

Wish is why when I play Luperci, sometimes it ends in tears. 

JD, Tome, and Effy have the next round of Mog Madness up, and I love the concept, the "Anti Paladin," kind of like anti-hero. Hopefully not antipasto, but it is close to dinner time. 

So, here is Luperci's look:

I think I will really try to put this look together. It suits "her" mood now: a little tarnished, dull, and grimy.

Here is how she looks now:

Postscript: Since Lupe can't be a Death Knight (wouldn't THAT be cool?) here are some more shiny looks for her:

Try these on for size...

Under the guise of cleaning out banks, bags, and organizing screenshots, I have a few transmog pix. Really, it was that I had time to burn off some rez sickness on Lupe (yes, the run was that bad).

Another option for the Mog Madness Round III: just pretending!

Ceniza being a mean witch

 These are the looks I would have played with had I done Mog Madness III (hey, just because I'm out of the brackets doesn't mean I still shouldn't do drills and relays!)

I do NOT have the Horseman's helm, to my great anger with the RNGs, but boy, there's always next year!

"Luperci is shown wearing a stunning Tabard of the Illidari, and lots of pretty purple, greens, lavenders, and goblin grease...just the perfect thing for those raiding nights, old school style!"

Say "Cheese!"

Weapon Option 1

Weapon Option 2

Weapon 3

Of all the things I tried, this helm alone says, "Hey, boys, my eyes are up HERE!"

No sweatpants.

Señor - does she look better now?

My guildmate was concerned about her last transmog look making her look, well, not so great. Trying to get her back together; still not totally there, but it'll happen.

Spring fever.

I think there is a family, or a want-to-be-a-family of some sort of critter that lives under my flooring. Every spring, it throws out this sweet musk that makes me sneeze, and I just know there are some mammalian silliness getting busy under the floorboards and insulation. Even though it hailed, snowed, sleeted, and rained today, and the sun broke through with all its might, through the tapioca pudding of opacity that is a March soon-to-be-spring sky, life gets shaken up. (I wonder if that raccoon and his lady love know how lucky they are?)

Well, although I loved Luperci's stormy outfit, I swear it made her tail look huge. Leave it to good buddies Kay and Ran to get me out of my tank-funk so I could run a few. And you know what? I am an average tank, maybe slightly B+ to A-, and it was a lot of fun! So inspired, I thought she deserved to go back to her classic reds:

Brunettes rock the red...just ask me!

I am a brunette in real life, and there is something about red that makes everything better. People will notice I look good and may not be able to put their finger on it, but if I am wearing red, that is usually the factor. Red lipstick, shirts, all reflect a little happiness and glow. I love the color red. In one of our runs, I even helped earn "Too Hot To Handle" which cracked up my guildmate. I must admit, there is something deeply satisfying about those dungeon achievements while tanking. I have gotten things on there that are still elusive when I am playing Mataoka. This one especially vexes me: Vigorous VanCleef  Vindicator.  Stupid shaman. She'd be the one who would spark static cling at the gas station and blow everything up.

In addition to apparently being too hot, I delivered my gift to my friend in the snow and sleet:

It turned out much prettier than the picture shows - all amber, reds, and it glows. May have to make one for myself, since I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve anyway. Might as well look good while doing so.

My card, sir.

My colleague is a singer, and has a lovely voice. She is also a true nerd/geek/dork. Her daughter (age 11) has plans to marry Dr. Who.*I am not joking.** The point is, she bursts out in random songs, and one is from the television show "Have Gun, Will Travel," which goes something like this:

Ballad of Paladin

She was singing the first few bars today, and having one of our helpful hallway conversations, and I told her every time she pipes in with that theme, it reminds me of great paladins I have known, and how my current paladin, Luperci, is feeling a bit spooked right now. I am over the stink-eye shaman, but it made for a good laugh, because when I related my story of why poor Lupe is making so many rookie mistakes now, we thought of those people in our lives who do the same things to us. We know of one young man who told the nicest of people FU MISS ______ like he was saying "Howdy. Somewhat a common occurrence, though: call it an occupational hazard.

Which led us to this: What is you could create characters with amalgamations of people's names whom we love to hate? 

Charles Dickens was a master of this, as of course, Shakespeare. Naming characters as their natures is a great literary device that helps bring the character more to life. 

Think about this, and get back to me. For the young man who is the chaos creator, we decided he would be an orc warrior, stomping around, and be named "Mikillaria." Only funny if you know him. 

See? Once in a while I get to 'speak geek' with my colleagues. 

*The eleventh incarnation, not the old one.

**Her sweet little boy piped in, while she was singing this in the car, "Mommy, you know a paladin is a holy warrior." Yup, she knew.

Esprit d'escalier: Idioms for idiots

Ah, Les Français.


Leave it to them to come up with the mot juste: esprit d'escalier.


After posting my disappointment in myself over my reaction to one crazy-ass resto shaman, I sat on the couch and did two things. Well, three:


1. Archeology
2. Watched Machete*
3. Drank a glass or two of really good red wine (cross-dressing rogue bought it for me: McManis Family Vineyard 2010 California Vintage Merlot)


...and I thought to myself: I am going about this PUG thing all wrong. Esprit d'escalier essentially means when you think of the perfect comeback "on your way up the stairs as you're going to bed" but it's too late. It's a charming idiom. 


So, just like Guarf's "You can't dispel stupid," I need a handy list of come-backs. Kay's tendency while she's protecting my feelings in PUGs is to get scrappy, but I'm not sure that's the right approach. As I said in another post, a southern friend told the player not to "get ugly." Unless you really understand what a southern insult it is not to 'get ugly,' it doesn't have much punch. What I want to do is not argue or escalate the situation, but make them see how absurd they are being, and at least get a laugh out of it myself. If they end up calming down and not taking themselves so seriously, and perhaps laughing, too, bonus!


Tome recently talked of her customer service experiences. My whole life I have been in 'customer service' in one form or another, from babysitting at age nine, to Chinese restaurant busgirl, to actual customer service with a banking company. Once when I told a lady to "calm down," did I realize why we have training and are taught mirroring-listening techniques. 


So, maybe I should pull those out of the trick-bag, and say things like,
"Oh, so you're feeling vulnerable and scared right now because you feel my tanking is not adequate to protect your inferior skill set?"


or:


"You probably need a hug. I'm sorry your low-level gear caused me to deplete my mana, and you chose not to monitor it, therefore when we really needed them, my cool-downs were on. How does that make you feel?"


or:


"Tell me about your relationship with your mother?" (Can I get all Freudian up in their grill? Or, should I go more Jungian: "The archetypal response to adjusting to hero worship has apparently disconnected with your self-image and dream state. Should I get you an aspirin?"


Today is the Superbowl in the States. Someone will win, and someone will lose, meaning, when in a PUG, remember you are on the same team. (There is a HUGE gulf of logic there, but I'm going to play the Queen of Spades. Just stay with me as I dig myself out of this hole.) The monster or mob is the opposing team. When in a PUG, keep that in mind. Tank/Healer/DPS DPS DPS = same team. As an aside, most likely, I will not be watching it. The next 48-hours involve activities far superior to watching Giants and Patriots. I'll be playing with my own giants and alliances. 


Oh, and yesterday morning when I went to work, my friend taught me another good word, "jefe." It means chief or boss in Spanish. During Machete, someone called a bloated Steven Seagal "jefe," and I felt so proud of myself for my new word. So, from now on, I'm going to tank like a jefe. Watch out. How does that make you feel?


(The writing of this made me laugh and laugh: best mental medicine ever!)


Postscript:
Was doing a search for a T-shirt with that cute draenei on it, but found this:

Those players should have been running.

Why did I think I could do that?

Tanking...

is tanking for me?

One good run, and then one awful, awful run. With a good friend, Kay-bear, but damn is shaman healer didn't ALL CAP me (in really bad words).

It's the one with Tyrande, and she's using that silly accent, all moony and moaning, and you catch tigers and elves and convince them to die in the light. You gotta run, and go to the light!

go to the light....!

I just saw on Twitter that 'Bravetank' was voted Blog Azeroth's Blog of the Week. Congrats! Maybe I can get some insight, cause KOTSH knows I need some.

Let me rephrase the shaman healer's criticism: Hold aggro. Don't let players die. (Wah?  Isn't that his job?)

I know I hit my "save your tail" button when it's warranted. Run to the light, and all will be well. The healer died on the way to the light. The Tyrande fight was okay, except I was shaking in nervousness.

That's what she said...

Right now, and I mean really right NOW - I am tanking in real life, breaking up physical aggression, having  folks not do their jobs, and lots of aggro being tossed around willy-nilly, and small creatures are getting hurt in the fray.

Perhaps I need to accept this hard truth: I can't do everything well. If I am tanking, the healer will criticize me. If I am healing, you know. If I die as DPS, it's my fault. If I die as healer, it's my fault. If I die as a tank...bleh.

But: let this be known, to one and all.

Did two other dungeons with buddies, including Kay-bear and an aggressive rogue, lost aggro many times, and did fine in both. Rogue said I was fine, in his opinion. Both he and Kay have a two awesome DPS level 85s. No tanks. One PvP healer (Kay). So, if "fine" is what I get, then that will have to be all the stamina I need.

Again, not sure why I'm doing this. Can't be for the money.

Red flag.

This past week was an unexpected "vacation" as I have ever needed, but that description and reflection will go on my professional blog, not my escape-hatch sugar blog. So, yesterday, as I was sitting in Starbucks (I found a nice lady to watch my computer while I ran to the bathroom and got lunch, because I know you were worried), I got a message that my Internet was on! Hoozah! Maybe, just maybe I could run through seven new dungeons between then and the time dinner was to be made. What could go wrong?

With the help of a trusty guild-mate, a healer, we got through the first four without many issues, save for a few potholes, and I think I broke an axle or two.

Bottom line: I need to study those dungeons a bit more.

In the Jaina fight, apparently there are these blistering fire thingies that pop up, and if a ranged dps'er doesn't stand on them, they explode, and do a lot of damage to everyone. I swear, in the grinding I have done on those on a melee, tank, and healer, I never once noticed them. I have never been in a group that wiped on the Jaina fight (she tries to be all bad-ass, but really, just can't pull it off), until yesterday.

Also, I am struggling against some bigotry. Yes. I said it. I confess. Aggro & Casters* seem to be the issue with these dungeons, which are the worse issues besides really bad dialogue. We got Well of Eternity a few times, and that damn Queen Azshara fight. After dinner, ran two of these and for some ungodly reason adds kept killing my healer. I have no idea why. I taunted, I beat down, I grabbed, sweet-talked and cried. Nothing seemed to work. In my defense, all I could say to her in Vent was that she had witnessed me tanking it just fine earlier, and I just couldn't figure out what went wrong. 

The Youtube Video from OMFG wouldn't embed, but here is the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=DF-ALycXVww

The bigotry, oh yes. That is with some mages and warlocks who get upset at the Hour of Twilight dungeon. I cheered every time this one popped up, because it is a cake-walk for tanks. Not so casters in the rogue fight.

To quote: Thrall will help during the encounter by putting up the same totems he's been using in the preceding trash gauntlet, so whenever possible, your party members should stand in a totem range. When she's low on health, Asira will put up a Blade Barrier. To lift it, she needs to be hit by an attack that deals more than 30000 damage, so save a cooldown for this if your party has low damage output. 

I will concede one point, and that is I should 'back out more slowly' from her smoke bombs. GTFO--you are not my master! No! I will not succumb to your blaring sirens and run out of smoke all crazy-like so that a mage or warlock can show off his numbers. I know that dps players are all about the numbers, numbers, numbers, but in truth, by the time I get to my sixth heroic in as many hours, frankly, Scarlet, I don't give a damn. Shut your pie hole and let's move on. The bias comes in because I have noticed a generality, that mages and warlocks tend to, well, let's just say put in a complaint in the RNG Suggestion Box more often than not. One dungeon two DKs hit over 59-62K regularly, and they didn't complain.

Regardless, whatever. 

Luperci got some hot new gear, made of thorium. (Apparently the Thorium Brothers don't waste a lot of materials on straps and frills.)

And Ruby of Ruby's Riches sent Zep this gorgeous robe:

Exarch Orelis looks on in admiration...

Moral of the story: If you're going to wipe, at least look good while doing it. And, I capped out my Valor Points. You're not the boss of me, stupid Comcast!


Postscript: methinks I thought of another great guild name...