This is what happens: I play my face off, take way too many screenshots, and then neglect, gee, I don't know, brushing teeth and laundry. To solve this issue, I have a legal sized notebook pad and clipboard next to me (you think I spend a lot on Azerothian accessories? You should see my Office Depot receipts. I love me some glue sticks!!), and on said clipboard is a list. A mighty, mighty list. I shall cross these things off with a golden pen which drips ink from the Kraken's arse and a choir of angels shall sing as I get things done.
Green:
Overall, this has been a most pleasant weekend. There have been some bugaboos. Yes, Tome and I were discussing the low spawn rates of things, how unbalanced it all is. I've been saving this image for just such an occasion:
This is Alec Baldwin and his second wife, (or third, not sure), a yoga instructor, on the morning after their nuptials. The pouty young blonde is his daughter with ex-wife, actress Kim Bassinger.
See that face? Do you see that unhappy little face? The crossed arms? Alec is happy. Why wouldn't he be happy? He has a hot yoga instructor on his lap. She may even be younger than the pretty Ireland Baldwin. Not sure. Hilaria? The yoga wife? She seems happy, too. Probably talking to someone about something really important, actively ignoring her new step-daughter. This trio of archetypes is a tableau for the ages. So, that cute pouty face? My inner face when I hear of spawns galore on other servers.
Just sayin'.'
Little Lebowski Urban Achievers
However, I really have nothing to complain about. Krasher took his healer into the Lost City, with one other DPS who followed instructions to the letter, and I finally finished my Cataclysm Dungeon Hero, and a shiny new volcanic drake was mine, all mine! And, I finished my exalted reputation with the Klaxxi today, those little thorax twiddlers, and not only did I earn thirty-five exalted reps (it was my 35th one), but my 25th tabard, and received my Achiever Tabard:
Mataoka the Urban Achiever
And now I'm tooling around on a hot new scorpion mount. Even has cupholders.
Loves me, love me not
I suspect Tome's theory on the forum bitching may have some merit. It does seem awfully odd that Blizzard works so hard to make its players happy, but then always has to add a zinger or time sink. Know how I know Blizzard hates me? Bag space. CRZ. Camping asshats. Dailies. Too many dailies that require collecting shit that takes up bag space. See the problem?
But you know how I know Blizzard loves me?
He is in the game:
I'll leave you for now with that image. You're welcome.
Today is my last day of my winter holiday. There is a rare Northwestern sunny day out there today, so you'd better believe I'm going to hide my sparkly-vampire skin and take advantage of it. Shine on, you crazy diamond! I had big, big plans for this vacation. So much was going to get done in the real world. So. Very. Much. But, I procrastinated like a boss and put it off to this upcoming weekend. What? What's that you say? I have company coming?! WHAT? NOOooooOOOOOOOooooooOOOOoo.
Oh, I can have a root canal instead? With a rusty drill that's been licked by malodorous cats who've recently eaten tuna fish sandwiches from a rubbish bin from the food court at an airport?
What, you're joking? You were just trying to be funny, and that's not a choice? You suck.
Ah, yes, still haven't lost my epic ability for hyperbole.
So--okay. January 2. This is the real day for taking stock, creating spreadsheets and inventory lists. If I could bar code my life and just go beep beep beep and have it all categorized, collated, and cataloged that would be cool with me. Instead I'm going through reams of computer files, backup caches, and dumping it all. Look at email from May 9, 2011! I'm coming for you! None of this nitty-gritty work would be remotely emotionally possible if a few things had not happened first. Come on, my little OCD comrades, you understand! (Don't you?!)
There were a few things I really wanted to accomplish in game. Some of these things were out of my control and squarely in the hands of the malevolent RNGs. (They really are Old Testament aren't they?) The things like finding a Scourged Whelping did not happen, and I was really hoping for the first time ever there would be a restart yesterday, because that's when all the rumors say Scourged Whelpings spawn. You know I tried to get the little girl dragons and the little boy dragons to understand the birds and the bees, but they would have none of it. Frigid Frostlings indeed. Anyway, many good things did happen, but mostly because of my relentless pixelized effort (and lack of changing out of sweatpants and hobbit slippers):
That is so me. No plan. Not for 2013 though! There will be plans! Blueprints! Outlines! Oh my!
This sums up my feelings about alts, but may be a request for a Blog Azeroth topic soon.
I become exalted with the Golden Lotus, and will continue to slowly work on August Celestials: the Black Prince is more my cup of darjeeling right now, so we'll see. And boy, their tabard sure is purdy!
FINALLY.
There was no way I was going to end the morning only needing about 500 more rep points with the Golden Lotus. I slew Mogu until one of them handed me his keys. Thanks! I'll be taking those!
And something else I wonder, if they are the Golden Lotus, why don't they at least offer the heroes of Azeroth some tasty lotus to snack on, ala The Odyssey and the Lotus Eaters? Sure would make the grind less painful to have a natural analgesic once in awhile. So what if Ulysses had to drag his intoxicated sailors back to the ship? You know, the rest of the journey was serene and calm, and I'm sure none of them regretted not hanging out with beautiful brown Island girls getting their lotus on.
First time doing a legendary chain in real time...
This Black Prince stuff is going to happen. This is the first time I've been in game when a legendary was 1. Accessible to me and 2. Accessible to ME. Meaning, before it seemed one had to be on a raid team, or a specific class. I really appreciate that everyone can be involved with this, even if the Black Prince is up to nefarious ends. Who knows? He might be a nice guy after all. He can't help it if his eyes glow red and the braces hide his sharp, pointy teeth.
Momokawa reached Level 90. And this is a HUGE thank you to Señor, who realized what a floppy, fluffy, worthless druid I was, and helped me train her up properly. I know he got a kick out of watching me almost get eaten by lions and ghosts. At one point after successfully defending myself from a mob, I asked him if he helped me, and like a good man pushing his kid off of the training wheels, he said no, he almost did, but then just let me figure it out.
I really just wanted to get to level 90 with her so she can fly on her little druid wings and pick flowers and farm. She's a tired little druid now though, so before she starts working the fields, she's going into hibernation for awhile.
Night Little Baby Druid! Sleep Tight!
Trumpets and fanfare, please! trala-lala!! Finally - Major Payne has been bested! I wish I could say there is a trick to this punk, but alas, it's just luck of rotations. If the baby bear comes out first, you're probably toast. I hate that bear. I had Beezlebub the Fel Flame, Frankensquirrel the Rabid Nut thing, and Clawdaddy the Crab. Dear readers, I realize you are far, far away from your Major Payne days -- everyone has far and away surpassed my pet skills, but I will cheer you on from the sidelines, cause apparently King Varian needs my help. The mention of the King makes my buddy froth at the mouth, though, respectfully wishing Bolvar Fordragon had been made king of the Alliance. Alas, some men's fates do not turn out the way they wish. Kind of like having company on the heels of the Christmas holiday. Wonder if Grizzle does guest appearances?
So, here's the New Year - a clean slate, a fresh start. I made a list of some game things I want to do, but my biggest goal is to not play so much. I feel like I'm not ---something. Not sure how to phrase it -- like with not raiding anymore, not worrying about other's expectations, miscommunication, as well as just enjoying the sheer pleasure of derpiness, I can relax for the first time in a long time in game. Most things during play time are things I can do on my own now, or with a buddy, and that is what I've been wanting for a long time. Metaphysically, I need more structure in my world right now, and this year's theme will be "Taming Real World." Starting in my messy kitchen would be a good place. EFFFFFUUUUU STICKY FORK! I'm coming for ya!
I am starting to keep score of how many times a players wants to go on a mog run, or get together a group for Ice Crown, or fill in the blanks for rep. Many just say they're "waiting for expansion," but I think there is something more to it than that. But for some reason, and I'm not sure why, (perhaps it's a culture of the game I am not familiar with), many players seem almost embarrassed that they want to go back and finish some achievements.
What is up with that?
Let me give you a few examples of how I know players just want to play, no apologies:
I am gratefully part of a cross-realm ICC Sunday night run. I mean...like really grateful. I started this last May with another guild, and they either dropped it, dropped me, or got swept up in their Firelands achievements. The new shiny came out, and that was that.
Turns out, when one of my guild officers saw that I was there, was saddened, because she's been saving her lock-out for a very long time to complete it. Lady: read to the end, please.
Here is where I stand now:
Those last three are going to be tricky...we barely got Sindragosa, and the Vile plague-stuff is yucky.
Got this cool new hat: part Bullwinkle, part Blair Witch Project
There are still a few things to attack....
And, while I was on, and came out of my Lich mode, a good player friend said, "Dang, it stinks to get a cool achievement and no one's on to congratulate you!" I asked him what it was, and it was this:
Congratulations indeed!! I LOVE this achievement, and it's been on my list, too! I recently finished A Feast for Crows, having reading the first four Game of Thrones epics back to back, which I do not recommend. That is really the issue with coming late to the party, isn't it? In this push-push-push for prorgression, I would just ask that players give themselves permission to feel proud and have fun with older content, too. I'll tell ya what--Arthas can still kick your tail in heroic mode, and those achievements' mechanics are still tricky and take coordinated dance steps. Not everyone can jump up and do the Shag or the Pony--it takes a few trips to the punchbowl and a willingness to look like a dork.
Lady: If you want to do these, I'm your girl. Woman. Whatever. You are a busy lady, as I am, and your experience as a progression raider far outweighs mine. But if you want me to help you coordinate these, and can promise to take a Vow of Fun, I'm in. I'll be continuining with my cross-realm compadres on Sunday nights, but hey, look at the guild calendar and see what works for you. Knowing your resources/personnel is about 90% of this success. Herding cats can be rewarding and profitable. And you might get a cool hat.
I was joking yesterday that I need a new novena candle, one I can light when I am in cranky-pants mode, regretting social entanglements, and pray to the Goddess of Hors d'oeuvres and Social Graces, the goddess to whom one prays to when feeling less than amicable, less than cheerful, and repressing the urge to yell "Get these mothereffffffingwarriorsofffmymothereffffffffffingpug!"
Too much life stress is like too much of anything--it will inevitably spill over and leave stains. It just does. No matter how much we try to contain anxiety or stress, it kicks and spins into our sleep, our walks, our play time, and meditative moments. It cries, and must be changed and fed.
To that end, here are my rants. Walk away now. It's going to smell bad.
Last Wednesday it dawned on me that I was the only female in our group. It meant nothing. I was near the top in DPS, did what I was supposed to do, and everyone did. It was a great night. We had a wonderful healer come back, and I hope he doesn't get bored with this team's learning-the-ropes mode.
Wait, was there a rant associated with this? No, actually. On the last attempt, however, the game bugged out, dragging our wonderful rogue into the briny depths of the maelstrom, out of range for rescue. We call in the helicopters and fire department, but alas, he was gone. We almost had it too, but almost and game bugs don't count. But I am heartened to know if we are on our game on Monday, and I plan on it, we will succeed, and then move onto tougher challenges.
I work in a predominately female-populated career. No, not a stripper, (I know, you wish). Was it pleasant or different to be the only woman? Honestly, didn't really notice, until I did, and it didn't seem to change the dynamic much. At least the gentlemen didn't seem to mind, or care, which is the good thing. I am not a Queen Bee type, I just want to play, and hold my own.
Cataclysm Dungeon Hero and the Mount
This is how it went: I fell off the damn camel again. I died and lost my lightening stacks at a critical moment. I got frostbite. I got eaten by crocs. Of the six ones I needed, I managed to get two done, which was great, the I Hate That Song one, thanks to a guildmate's instructions, the the Acropolypse Now one. These adventures into Achievement Land without my buddy Kaylyne left me very cranky, and I was misunderstood a lot yesterday. I have days like that. No matter what I try to say or type, it gets misunderstood, talked-over, or not heard. After my fail attempt at not getting bucked by that damn camel, I said I would come back with others, stating that in PUGS it was tough to get folks to go to the camel place. It was misunderstood that I was being whiny and pout-y, that they were more than happy to come back and help me, but that is not what I was fishing for. I was trying to say I do not mind coming back with other friends and trying again, but was not going to PUG that one. I also am mad at myself for becoming "that player." A sweet guildmate kept mispronouncing my name, "Muttkah" or something like that, and I tried to say nicely, "Just call me Matty," but everything I said or typed got left-footed wonky. This is a brain fact: Brains love patterns. If you get lost going some place, even when you find it, your brain will want to go the wrong direction again. If I call someone by their incorrect name or proununcation, even when I practice it, it will still come out wrong. It's why mothers call their children by the wrong names. It was no big deal, but then I didn't mean to make it a big deal, just wanted to be called "Matty." Stupid me.
Here is a screenshot of my repair bill for the day's events:
And, I am still not given guild repair, calendar event, or title status yet. I know...patience young Padawan, patience.
Somehow in the beginnings of my nubbiness, I may have killed a little Spore guy, you know, by mistake, once or twice. They hate me. So, to make amends, today I thought I would go down to Zangermarsh, kill the bogs, and make the Spore happy. I never noticed this, but the bog creatures spend a lot of time sniffing their armpits:
Don't you wish everyone would use Dial?
I am so intent on making these little guys my friends, I set up my hearth in Telredor:
Looks spa-ish to me!
Luperci and the Use of Leap of Faith
I cannot believe I am going to even write this. Never in my wildest dreams would I have to tell a priest not to use Leap of Faith on Luperci will holding aggro on a mob. And then be told I AM THE FAIL TANK. The Druid who replaced the warrior was justifying it, too...gods help me now please.
Yes, and warrior, you got kicked because you forgot you didn't queue as a tank. Again. Again. And again.
That last run left me shaking mad. Blizzard: Thank you for the goodie bags for tanks and healers, cause right about now, they are the only thing that is keeping me logging in to see how Lupe is doing. But most of the goodie bags are filled with Jordan's almonds from the bottom of an old lady's purse and day-old Juicy Fruit. No thanks. Next time a healer uses LOF on me not once, but twice, in a run, you'd better give me a damn title or achievement, or a dragon mount just because I showed up. And I still held aggro.
The thing that sticks in my craw is players that think they know every damn thing. Growth thinking, people!! Be fluid, plastic, and flexible in your chi, dudes. And a big nod to the hunter who knew what he was doing. I could have kissed your misdirect.
So my dear friends, tell me I am a superstar. Tell me I rock. Tell me you love me. Or at least light a candle and say a prayer for me. I think when I log in next, I'll put on the Busy Sign, and help the Spores out until I am less stinky.
Theme Song: Superstar (sniffing armpits optional)
Postscript:
I also forgot to mention that everyone knows I do not want to see MoP stuff, but somehow do not mind reading about Theramore. I see Theramore's lore as an extension of current game play, not new materials. Just wanted to clarify that, if anyone cares. Which they don't.
Though somewhat of a relunctant prima donna, Ceniza is true to her magical nature, and charming the tweets off of little woodland and forest creatures comes with the turf:
"Antiguo Amor is always at her side...carrying a torch for Ceniza.."
She made some high-protein snacks for the little animals, hoping she wasn't spreading bovine spongiform around...I mean, have you ever actually seen how the rhino sausage gets made? Let's just say there is a dearth of health inspectors in Azeroth.
Another nice surprise of the day came when she was flying around Shadowmoon, leveling some herbalism (for a chef always uses the freshest ingredients), she obtained the Purple Trophy Tabard of the Illidari by putting the hit on some very handsome ruthless men and monsters. Their hair did get a little messed up. Not to be outdone, Mataoka flew straight to the site, and did what she needed to do to obtain hers, too. She shared the information with guildmates, and when confronted with the exact details of "where" and "who," could only say, "You know, left at the demon, by the fence, and there's an entourage, down past Old Man Jenkin's goo pond, as the crow flies past the thing...can't miss it."
It made me think of the (tired) adage, the "American Dream" phenomenon, (as in how it doesn't exist, or paradoxically exists in nearly every culture), and how with the economies of the real world folding, shuffling, and polarizing each us of further apart. The RNGs must have a field day with this, playing gods to our little pixels, deciding whose fate or paths are pre-determined on our way to end-game nirvana.
I could write a bit more, but at this point, I think I'll let you dear readers do your own pondering and musings, at your own leisure.
But, before I go, wait. Are you sitting down? Last night I got a very sweet in-game leader letter from the raid letter leader of that misbegotten PUG. True story. I wrote back, also apologizing for my mistakes, and hoped we could try again sometime.
Here in the northern hemisphere, we are about to celebrate the longest day of the year, the summer solstice. It's not like we humans did anything special, but in our hubris we imagine that if we dance around grassy fields and light fires we can control the planetary and universal laws. Nice thought, but just enjoy the light. For those of you in the southern hemisphere, you know in six months or so the wheels will turn again: I'll be sitting in Darkshire gloom, and you'll be all sparkly Mt. Hyjal happy.
The last leg of the Long Strange Trip journey for me is completing the Flame Warden achievement. There are a lot of flaming hoops to jump through, but at least I don't have to defend orphans.
Cheers, and Hail to the Knight, for Kay and Isa finishing their Glory of the Hero achievements! Guarf, Ruby, Tyrwin and I are right behind you. The increase in colorful drake population will be raised significantly by this amazing crew...!
Couldn't do it without you, Kay -- send a screen shot!
