The best.

Congratulations to my friend, Kaylyne the Skillful, who also completed her Long Strange Trip. We are fortunate not only to have received our beautiful drakes, a string of titles and creeds, and a full closet of beautiful clothes, but we achieved the best boon of all: friendship.

We met in November during the Pilgrim quest chain, and our ability to coordinate knowledge, game mechanics, insights, tips and tricks are, to me, the most enjoyable part of playing. We all could wish that our colleagues at work were so collaborative. She has graciously given me her time and knowledge, and been a respectful listener when I had something to offer, too. Rare gifts indeed. 

Theme song: Matchbox 20/3AM (One of Kay's favorite bands)

Quest for fire, or I have an axis to grind...

Hot.

Here in the northern hemisphere, we are about to celebrate the longest day of the year, the summer solstice. It's not like we humans did anything special, but in our hubris we imagine that if we dance around grassy fields and light fires we can control the planetary and universal laws. Nice thought, but just enjoy the light. For those of you in the southern hemisphere, you know in six months or so the wheels will turn again: I'll be sitting in Darkshire gloom, and you'll be all sparkly Mt. Hyjal happy.


Word on the street is that the 4.2 patch is also coming out on June 21, too.

The last leg of the Long Strange Trip journey for me is completing the Flame Warden achievement. There are a lot of flaming hoops to jump through, but at least I don't have to defend orphans.

The Fires of Azeroth

• Flame Warden of Eastern Kingdoms
• Flame Warden of Outland
• Flame Warden of Kalimdore

Ice the Frost Lord
King of the Fire Festival

• A Thief's Reward

Desecration of the Horde (also with three sub-categories)
Burning Hot Pole Dance
Torch Juggler

What a Long, Strange Trip It's Been


And if you want to see something really spectacular: hundreds of naked bicyclists in a parade. 
Warning: Contains nudity

Theme song: Fever/Peggy Lee

Check out: Secret Sun Blog - some beautiful images and information

I dub thee...

Kay and Mat tossed their blood-crusted weapons to the well-trodden wooden floor of the inn on the Dwarf side of town, ready to share an ale (or two, or three) and tales of recent victorious runs, aiding orphaned children, and boosting their own status in the world.

"I'm really going to enjoy putting my new saddle on that violent drake..." Kay mused.

"And I'm hoping I have some more purple gear to match it, when the day comes..." said Mat wistfully, and a touch vainly.  She continued: "I know I shouldn't complain, but...(negating her weak attempt at justification)...it's a shame that the gods don't bestow upon us a title to go along with all of our hard work, too..."

"Oh, you're right! That would be so wonderful!" Kay exclaimed. "But, what would it be?" Mat shrugged, but Kay further inspired by saying, "Oh, Mat...we should come up with titles!"*

Kay and Mat's friendship began as a common passion, and borderline obsession for achievements. Their solid friendship is characterized by their support for each other's pursuits of excellence and skill, and they share tactics, strategies, and means and ways of achieving these goals...they have their cookbook of family-secret favorites which they readily share, and support each other thoroughly. And although the For the Children is the penultimate meta-achievement for both of them in the Strange Trip It's Been (they each have several tasks for the Midsummer festivities), it seemed to be the most challenging and emotional one to date. Kay longed for a night elf child, perhaps a daughter of Gwennyth Bly'Leggonde, whose beautiful and courageous life was cut short by the coward of pain, Deathwing.

But tonight, this was no time to stew in grief, but to celebrate, to laugh. In their drunken silliness, these are some of their "lesser known" titles of distinction:

the Loquacious: bestowed upon those who drown while talking too much in chat...(cough)
Killer Queen: given to (predominately) female players who tend to be a bit bossy
the Carried: awarded to those whose DPS is the fourth place of a dungeon group 50% of the time, only one level above the healer's. (Credit to Ferl on that one) And yes, this is me while I am running, RUNNING towards piles of poison, fire, and poisonous fire.
Little Lebowski Urban Achievers (come on, it's better than Achievement Sl*t)
the Curious: given to those who often find themselves wedged in pixels even their hearthstones can't jam them out of...(I'm looking at you, buttercup...)


And the best title, better than even Kingslayer:
Knight of the Red Shirt: achieved by those who politely, but persistently, correct everyone's lore knowledge. This is the highest achievement, one up from "the Pwner."

*If anyone has any suggestions for titles, monikers or epithets you think should be in the game, please, feel free to comment away!

Silly rabbit...nobility is for kids!

May have taken it a bit too far this time: what happens when you combine an overachiever, type-A personality with a doable series of holiday quests, and a willing and helpful guildmate? Yes, a one-day title achievement--Mataoka the Noble. 

The only thing real in this photo is the sweat from a million silkworms that made those pajamas...

The morning started off easy enough; do a few dailies, talk to the human, you know...but then, multiplying faster than amorous bunnies, the desire and achievement lust overcame Mat's brain. The bunny ears must have evaporated any and all necessary brain cells she needed to get through Grim Batol safely and more financially stable, or was it the tight-fitting bustier, which is a requirement to serve cocktails in the Grotto, that cut off blood and oxygen circulation to her brain? The only thing missing from the Noblegarden is a Hugh Hefner stand-in, magically pulling in his playmates with cash and Viagra. Or perhaps he was disguised as a troll in Dalaran?

This achievement is not very difficult: the only things that are required are a blood lust for the Strange Trip It's Been meta-achievement, the willingness to push small children players face-down in the spring grass and step on their heads for an egg, a small PvP flagging, death by Horde, and a cross-dressing Orc female. The animalistic libidos of the bunnies come naturally, so "making" rabbits fall in love is a breeze. As far as the "Shake Your Bunny Maker" is concerned, a shameless, no-apologies approach is best: yes, you will need to peddle your tail on the dusty streets of Orgrimmar and throw flowers at Horde players. The concern for that portion is truly over finding female Orc, Tauren, Undead, and Dwarfs...Blood Elf girls are a dime-a-dozen (kind of like Draenei girls, come to think of it). The Undead girl was okay--needed a breath mint, though. The Dwarf girl was a little hard to catch, but her stubby little legs couldn't run that fast. The Orc female was a ringer, but rare indeed. And the Tauren female, a healer, was actually kind of comforting, like a big old dairy cow. But here is the caution: unlike other achievements where you may coordinate with friends to start level one characters on the other side, for this series the female characters must be at least level 18. Wouldn't want any minors at the mansion, you know?

Mat got hit with Hero just before the shutter clicked...but still...damn

The Stormwind Guard is happy to see Mat...

Bunny would spontaneously jump between Mat's hooves...

Next up: For the Children. Stupid orphans. Especially School of Hard Knocks. This means Mat will not be able to hide behind warriors, hunters, and paladins in battlegrounds, but might actually have to do something besides entertain the troops. What do you say, friends? Premades, please?

Theme song: Discovery Channel song....(blush) - look it up yourself

And YOU are?

Mat is not, repeat, NOT, having an identity crisis. Her human may be, though.

You may find the use of third person omniscient voice in this narrative may be a bit weird; and, I, writer, have thought that from time to time, too.

Aside from that, getting to know the dynamics of a group who's been working together for some time is tricky for anyone.  As the rounds of introductions are being made in the new guild, leader has decided that "Mataoka" is too tangled (this is all in Vent, by the way), "Mat" makes him think of dudes, (and apparently cross-dressing Draenei females are not as appreciated), so Mat's name is transmuted to Mathilda.

No, please.

Now, it's all in good fun, but human nor toon is a "Mathilda."

But that's an unexpected consequence of having others step into a narrative.

So, perhaps it's time to give a brief background check into human's toons' names (Note: perspective, point-of-view abrupt switches happen suddenly and without explanation):

• Mataoka is a derivation of Matoaka. Matoaka is Pocahontas' formal native name. Romanticized and European-centric views aside, I still think that she was a fascinating historical figure, and deserves to be researched and considered.  Mat is not a cross-dressing Draenei shaman. All acceptable: Mat, Matty, Matty-cakes, or real ID if you know it.

• Luperci is from the Roman priests who were in charge of the Lupercalia. I'm thinking this would have been a better name for a shaman, you know, with the spirit wolves and all, but what's done is done. Lupe (loo-pay) is fine.

Red? Blue? Is there a purple option?

• Zeptepi is from Egyptian origin myths.

• Morphemia, the most neglected Death Knight ever, is a derivation of Morpheus, the Greek god of dreams. Yes, and a pivotal character in the Matrix. Morphemia is not a pivotal character in any narrative right now. She chose the wrong pill.

• Haanta is a derivation of Hanta, or "hunter" in Japanese, kind of; not being able to speak Japanese, I just did my best with Google translator. Yikes. Original - no, hardly. The names of Haanta's pet have more of an interesting history. Haanta is currently cooling her hooves in Mt. Hyjal, sporting the greens, a level 83.5, and will get to level 85 someday. Her pets include Sweater,  Huli, and some other pound puppies and kittens. She's thinking a  monkey would be great from Deadmines.  If such monkey is procured, name: Archie. Less talk, more monkey. And what is this Loque more masterful players speak of?

We've all looked ourselves and others up and down in the armory, too. Come on. You know you have. Admit it. And when you check the name rankings, it's interesting to me how many other players share the same toon names. Mat shares her achievement rankings with a few under-20 level-something Tauren girls, and otherwise, remains fairly firmly ensconced as the queen of the Mataokas. There are a few more Lupercis, and quite a few Zeptepis. (And I thought I was being so original--nothing new under the Azerothian sun, eh?) So if there are many incarnations of your character, and you've reached some top rankings, that's quite an achievement indeed. You could be like me and name your toons silly, unpronounceable names, and be at the top of the list without much time or effort.


To that end, as we're all getting past the "My Name Is" meet and greet phase, I promise to:


* not to refer to myself in third person during play --I've tried not to do this, and don't plan on starting now, especially knowing how annoying, weird, and bizarre that would be to other players. That being said, all bets are off if it's a "/me (orange) Mataoka  (space) taps her hoof impatiently" emote. Okay. Wait. I don't promise I won't use third person for emphasis sake, but how about, "I'll try not to annoy you?" vow?

* keep my sense of humor. If you want to call my shaman Mathilda, fine. I'm over it.

Let me get the curlers out of my hair, please...

*try to show up, on time, to events, just as I try in real life, to be punctual, prepared, and pugnacious (always ready for a fight, if need be). But if you call on me last minute to get my tail somewhere, just know I do move as fast as I can. There are some real life obstacle courses in the way, though, on occasion.









Little Urban Achievers Post of the Month: I Like Bubbles

Ghost in the machine - Mat's Current Resume

Theme song: David Bowie/Fame

Postscript: Need more ponies.
Oh: Why does Billy's voice sound a lot like Mr. Bill's?

Low-hanging fruit*

If anyone wants to do any old-school achievements with Mataoka this weekend or next, please send her a letter: Glory of the Hero, etc.

*And no, she wasn't referring to gnomes. 

Shoveling achievements.

In her best Jedi voice: These are not the weeds you're looking for...

Oh, spring is most pungently in the air! Catch that aroma? Perhaps the Taurens have been out fertilizing Elwynn Forest.

Mat and Kaylyne got a bit of a break from the last What a Long, Strange Trip It's Been questing/achievement rounds from last February's Love is in the Air. Love was in the air, and it smelled a bit skunky.

The next one on the list is: Noble Gardener, which starts around April 24 this year. It's basket-chocked full of springtime fertility rites and chocolately-goodness. There are bunnies, Bunnies, eggs, chocolate, and more bunnies (they do multiply fast!).

As far as the Blushing Bride one goes she hopes the gentlemen of Stormwind consider stepping up and making an honest woman out of her. But don't expect it to last, and definitely keep the receipt on that toaster you bought.

Mat has this one, the children's one, and a few more on the midsummer flame achievement before she completes this year long quest, right about the time she will celebrate her May 1 dorkaversary, when she first started playing. What a long strange trip indeed.

Series: How I met your Hunter

Do not underestimate the power and persistence of Achievement Seekers.*

The kindred spirits of achievement seekers have a preternatural sense of who we are: we are the holiday participants, and we want that mount. We find each other in the gathering spots, trying to decipher just what exactly it is this NPC wants us to do...

This is how Mat met her best achievement seeking buddy, and kick-butt DPS hunter, Kaylyne. The holiday quests are not like any other; you will need to eat food a certain way, click differently, and navigate through hostile territories. You will be killed by an elite NPC on the other side, for certain. If you're seeking with a friend, it makes the wounds heal much more quickly. Someone to walk back from the graveyard with. True achievement seekers/friends always share tips, websites, locations, facts, and strategies. There is no competition in this area - it is all for the shared glory, title, and yes, there will be enough mounts to go around, not like ninja'd rolls in dungeons or raids. You give a little bit to the team, and are guaranteed a reward.

If it takes us all year, which it will, we will seek any elder, barf up any Hallowed candy, or kiss any Orc if that is what it takes.

Kay and I have become more than achievement seeking friends: we help each other in so many ways. Good friends just 'get' each other - we know when we need a hug, a confidence booster, and a drag through a dungeon without some macho tank yelling some profanity at us. We do have something to prove: female players do have to be 'better,' or will endure the scoffs, smirks, and sarcasm of some (not all) of our male counterparts. If this sounds a bit defensive and "girl power," well, just look at Kay's DPS score in a dungeon and shut your pie hole. Which, by the way, you will get if you're nice to us, we'll bake you a pumpkin pie.

Kay and me flirting with the guard...who was eavesdropping

*Some have other, more unsavory, epitaphs for "seeker." Watch your language, please.