Gift horse.

I ask for impossible things for gifts from those who love me. I ask for toilet seats down, kitchen faucets replaced, and clutter annihilated. I also ask for -- guidance in WoW, because I do so happen to know a few 'leet' players, in game and out.

Now, one of my promised holiday gifts is some guidance with Zeptepi's Shadow Priest-iness. I briefly considered going Holy/Disc with her recently, but seriously, can't quit you shadow spec. Its visual appeal is simply too gorgeous: so what if I did like, oh, 4.5K in a dungeon a few weeks ago? She looked damned good doing it.

But, dear friends, you know me by now, and I am not satisfied with being carried, at least not too much. I do like to pay my fair share of the tab and leave a good tip, and having a 'vanity specialization,' which is what I now dub my Shadow Spec, is vain and silly. Hence, the request for some help and advice on this very complicated and fascinating class.

Zep cuts through the bull with Elder Tauros. She's a Capricorn herself.

Well, help is not available in real life right now, and that is just fine. So, to the INTERNET! (Yes, I have been without Internet for five days now, and am still camped at the local Starbucks, eyelids twitching from the caffeine, and a bladder full of Verona drip.)

Fox Van Allen is one of my favorite writers on WoW Insider, and this post from a year ago sums up a lot: Spiritual Guide: Shadow Priest 101.

This is a wonderful little guide, and when I get a chance to write my post on a real life thing, (must do from home computer--this "little laptop that could" just can't handle all the awesomeness), I will show you why I think it's great.

There is a subtext, though, that I couldn't miss:

Difficult to perfect Shadow priests use a number of damage-over-time spells, and managing them all can be exceptionally difficult for a beginning player. The more you practice, the better you'll get, though only a small, select handful will truly achieve shadow priesting greatness.

In other words, don't expect to be great at this. Just give up now. Remember the pendejo priest who was so rude to my beautiful, intelligent, brave tank Luperci? Damn, now I can't remember his name to look him up. But, figured if I tried, it would ring a bell, so I searched "Best Shadow Priests on Whisperwind" and guess what? He's not listed:

Realm Rank	Player	Guild	World Score
1	Paskgotheals	Rocket Surgery	100.0
2	Vivir	Wanderers	99.9
3	Mystabella	Disgruntled	99.8
4	Sadystik	Fidelis	99.8
5	Priestpipe	Carpé Lootem	99.7
6	Euph	Victory or Whatever	99.6
7	Ámina	Minds Eye	99.5
8	Jeevs	Action Nine News	99.5
9	Zariaa	Order of the Ebon Hand	99.4
10	Martooni	FortyTwo	99.4
11	Vavra	Alpha	99.3
12	Wolfbáne	We Ignite at Night	99.3
13	Ariann	Prevail	99.2
14	Toobad	Yahtzee Party	99.1
15	Udersnohealu	Legion of Blood	99.1
16	Yuliana	Action Nine News	99.0
17	Ashkatja	Alpha	99.0
18	Lukki	Covenant of Crows	98.9
19	Lyriah	Disgruntled	98.9
20	Settesh	Something Wicked	98.8
21	Maruko	The Cuppy Cakes	98.8
22	Aelvin	Rocket Surgery	98.7
23	Methanar	Alpha	98.7
24	Vivos	Rocket Surgery	98.7
25	Sunova	Darker Intentions	98.7

So, should I just give up now, and tromp around in my shadowy sexiness, without doing much damage? Is it good to be bad? (Oh, yes.) Am I just too sexy for my spec? Possibly.

Throwing this out there:

If you have one piece of advice on Shadow Priest, not the normal MaxDPS, or Add-On, but one thing you know from experience, that would be a wonderful gift. Don't even want the receipt.

Nod nod.

Zep is not built Ford tough.

As I look at my little characters, I realize I take a lot of shots of them sleeping. This poor little priest girl has been working so hard - she is about 40% to level 85, and has been busy getting recipes and justice points so she can get into dungeons. Priests, by all accounts, are some of the most complicated classes in the game, as are warlocks. If I was mystified by lightening bolts and moonbeams, mind blasts and spikes are even more of a mystery than brain freezes. Glad she made all that dreamcloth. She deserves some peaceful sleep. Oh, and was blasted to smithereens about five times in Twilight Highlands. Which leads me to this:

Why do I really want to raid? Two reasons: One, it's fun. Two: gear, and not because it's the best, or elite, or whatever. Really good gear = faster everything. It's like a really good, dependable car. You never have to worry about it breaking down or being high maintenance. I love good gear simply because I can do drudgery faster, and don't have to spend most of my play time in shades of gray looking for my poor corpse. No wardrobe malfunctions, or chestgear blow-outs. I just want to get the job done, to get to the good stuff. (Patience is not my strong suit, no matter what the title says.)

On my schedule.

Now it's time for sleep. Good night, little priest girl. Say your prayers. Those Twilight Highland baddies are mean.

Low I.Q.

Don't go into the light, Zeptepi!

Poor little priest girl.

She reached level 80 not too long ago, knowing that all bets were off as far as healing in Cata dungeons: her wardrobe was threadbare, patched, and a bit shabby. The time for questing in Mt. Hyjal had arrived: building her reputation, building up her magical armor, and going back into the shadows was to be expected. What was not expected was the fragility of her shadow priest skills. She has more holes in her intelligence than pantyhose on a prom date.

During one quest alone, the beginning ones, she was blasted to smithereens no less than four times. There is gold in the bank to buy her some new school clothes, but there is nothing worth purchasing before level 82, and at her rate, that make take her some time. It is a challenge to go from swinging axes and maces to using the forces of good and evil to smite villains.

As I have done in the past, I am going to look over other players' (well, one actually) customization of their shadow priest to see how they've done it. She needs some supernatural aid right now, so if anyone has something to say, a bias, come out of the ebonweave closet and please help a girl out.

In the meantime, I'll just keep dying and trying in Mt. Hyjal, and need to read The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo before the movie comes out.

Postscript: Duh. Just do what everyone else does and go fight some battles for some PvP gear. It's fun to be a SP in BGs anyway.

Drabble for a Spirit

She knows him as Death, in any language. But not a cruel personification, not an end, just a shadow that burned. Had never said one cold word to her, had never been anything but the utmost gentleman. He wanted her alive, needed her warmth. Friendliness and wisdom of dwarfs, the humor and spunk of gnomes, and pragmatism and practicality of humans were not what she needed right now. She doubted herself; and to be safe, she superstitiously spilled salt on the sepulcher’s threshold.  This would protect her from harm, and maybe, grant her wish. She missed him. That was all.

Super secret ninja spies.

Once again, leave it to Psynister to read my player's mind (okay, this is getting a little spooky) and write a fantastic post on Shadow Priests and PvP. Since my good paladin friend helped me navigate through the level 70 PvP gear, I was thinking to myself, "Well, gee, Zeptepi could benefit from this, too!" And like mana from heaven, there's the post. So, in between the new Firelands' dailies, the searching for Sands of Time* (yea, right...maybe between Rehoboth Beach and Malibu...) I'll see what I can do to get Zep going and all shadowy, like a secret spy, mind controlling and using psychological war tactics. As an added bonus to leveling a priest, I might...just might...change my enhancement spec over to elemental. Suddenly casting doesn't seem so bad.


*These are actually easy to find. You just need a lot of gold. It's the embers that are going to be a bit tougher to gather, a mission impossible.  Those embers are going to require a lot of guild planning, support, cooperation, and if you PUG the Firelands' raids, luck.

I need an old priest and a young priest.

While my irrational disloyalty to my first WoW character Mataoka needs to be quieted, I have a confession to make:

I really like being on the dark side.

Fade into you.

All this little priestess has done to level are dungeons and travel a bit. That's it. Gallons of mana later, she made it to level 54. But, there is a cool mount in Winterspring, the Winterspring Frostsaber, so while the rest of the Goat Sisters are getting theirs, thought she'd do the dailies, too. Considering this questing area is about her level, she touched down on snowy ground and proceeded to be mauled by about four frostsaber tigers in no time. Torn to shreds. Ripped. Dead. A lot. Stupid much?

While sharing the silliness of trying to start a quest in the wrong spec, my dear priest friend sends me instructions on what to do. This is definitely his area of expertise. He is no angel, this one. While training, discovered this: being a shadow priest is wicked awesome (say in a Boston accent please)!
(Again, gracias senor: you always help me so much: you knew it was fun, didn't you?)

Before you go screaming in terror or puking pea green soup, I don't need an exorcist. Healing with this priestess is first priority. But tigers, lions, and bears don't need band-aids, so they're fair sacrificial game.

Theme Song: Banana Boat Song/Beetlejuice.

Beetlejuice.

Beetl...


But when you need a great leveling guide, pray to Psynister on Priest Holy Specs

Angel Zep