Pants optional.

Why do dwarfs keep taking off their clothes around Mat and her alts?

Well, maybe this will help them keep their pants on: Call to Arms in 4.1 - coming soon

Check this out, too, please: http://psynister.wordpress.com/2011/04/07/dungeon-finder-call-to-arms/

(WTB [Tailoring] for Dwarf...)

April 8 Update: http://psynister.wordpress.com/2011/04/08/call-to-arms-update/

Gnomes.

Seeing gnomes? Stop eating mushrooms.

Mat <3s gnomes.

But she is a little afraid of them, too. 

They are sweet as buttercups and twice as tasty, but they are crafty.

Mat's known a few gnomes, and considers them close play friends. When she first encountered Those of Shortest Stature but Biggest Hearts she was afraid she'd squash them with her big hooves. She needn't had worried. They are fast. 

So. Very. Fast.

In fact, they can be quite exhausting. There is no tank who is more GO GO GO than a gnome. Even Luperci in Dire Maul today was quickly out-distanced by a little gnome mage named Fridge. She felt put on ice. Little gnome could have taken on the whole place by himself (until he took a wrong turn, stepped in something, and died). But nothing slows down gnomes, really. They are are all squeeeeeeee and very little clomp-clomp. They are the very essence of onomatopoeia. 

Feeling down? Need to know what's going on? Need a hug that hits the heart just right (if you're sitting down, anyway)? 

Go gnome.

Theme song: Walkie Talkie Man -Steriogram (loud please)

*Watched this again- wow - the knitting/fabric art is amazing in this video. Like a sweater you keep knitting, and knitting, and knitting....

Singing

Mat was singing along with her i-Pod this morning, and trying to not to be too off-pitch. (Human was telling her to hush.) She's going to ask a guitarist she knows to learn this one:


Elope with me Miss Private and we’ll sail around the world
I will be your Ferdinand and you my wayward girl
How many nights of talking in hotel rooms can you take?
How many nights of limping round on pagan holidays?
Oh elope with me in private and we’ll set something ablaze
A trail for the devil to erase 
San Francisco’s calling us, the Giants and Mets will play
Piazza, New York catcher, are you straight or are you gay?
We hung about the stadium, we’ve got no place to stay
We hung about the tenderloin and tenderly you tell
About the saddest book you ever read
It always makes you cry
The statue’s crying too and well he may.

I love you I’ve a drowning grip on your adoring face
I love you my responsibility has found a place 
Beside you and strong warnings in the guise of gentle words
Come wave upon me from the family why not that's absurd
“You’ll take care of her, I know it, you will do a better job”
Maybe, but not what she deserves
Elope with me Miss Private and we’ll drink ourselves awake
We’ll taste the coffee houses and award certificates
A privy seal to keep the feel of 1960's style
We’ll comment on the decor and we’ll help the passer by
And at dusk when work is over we’ll continue the debate
In a borrowed bedroom virginal and spare
The catcher hits for .318 and catches every day
The pitcher puts religion first and rests on holidays
He goes into cathedrals and lies prostrate on the floor
He knows the drink affects his speed he’s praying for 
a doorway 
Back into the life he wants and the confession of the bench
Life outside a diamond is a wrench
I wish that you were here with me to pass the dull weekend
I know it wouldn’t come to love, my heroine pretend
A lady stepping from the songs we love until this day
You’d settle for an epitaph like “Walk Away, Renee”
The sun upon the roof in winter will draw you out like 
a flower
Meet you at the statue in an hour
Meet you at the statue in an hour

Piazza, New York Catcher - performed by Belle & Sebastian

Work it.

This may seem completely counter-intuitive to the stereotypical gamer's physique, but Mat's human has actually gotten in better health and shape since she started playing. Her friends, colleagues, and family have all asked her "What is your secret? What did you do?!" and about all she can admit is, well, she has quit drinking wine, portion control, and um...yeah. Not sure most of her friends would understand some of these healthy new habits. What the heck is a Night Elf, and why are you dancing like one?

Some rules to play by:
*Don't drink and dungeon. One time*, the human had a few cocktails, and things did not go well. Now this is the ONLY way some players do dungeons, but one of Mat's best paladin friends does not drink either, and this got her to thinking. It's one thing to knock back a few with the dwarfs in Twilight Highlands --it gives you a nice buff, and there is usually a Death Knight willing to hold your hair back if you barf--they are gentlemanly like that--but otherwise, drinking and dungeon-ing don't mix. You could get pulled over by a Stormwind guard, and there aren't enough goblin lawyers in the world to get anyone to post bail.

*When you are waiting, waiting, waiting, get off your tail and dance like a Night Elf, male or female. Both are fun and sweaty dances. Did you think I was kidding when I said that? Top Ten Things to Do While Waiting in Queue.

*Get your RL drudgery done FAST so you can play

*When snacking, eat like a gnome. Lots of fresh apples, carrots, etc. Drink plenty of water. Don't touch the mana cakes.

*Walk everywhere you can, like a lower-level toon. No level 20/40/60 speed mounts for you. Hoof it.

It's tough to look at a Draenei girl's ideal form and not feel either completely hopeless or inspired. The superhero over-articulated and idealized artistic form would look weird and maybe even kind of horrifying if it existed in the real world. Mat's human will never have a tail, hooves or horns. (She may have invisible horns when she's feeling mean, but that's another story.) Besides, she couldn't find shoes for those big hooves, and the nearest blacksmith is in the next town. But, she does have some height and the smile going for her--that's a start.

And she can rock it like a Night Elf.



*holy blog lie, Batman - was that a broad use of editorial license!?

Get up: Hey Ya-OutKast

Addendum: Fat - Violent Femmes

Addendum: Some interesting related articles:
http://www.wired.com/underwire/2007/05/sexual_dimorphi/
http://theirisnetwork.org/2007/05/26/idealizing-fantasy-bodies/

Long shadows.

Mat takes the long view...

They say no good deed goes unpunished. Mat politely takes umbrage with this. Mat has been the recipient of several good deeds lately, and for this she is exceedingly grateful. It would go against her nature and honor to hurt those who have been so kind and generous. And she knows that these good deeds are not puppet-characters' deeds: there is a human behind the pixels.

Quite frankly, they have saved her tail.

And while she/human are somewhat mystified by this generosity, the largess and nobility of these gifts only come at one easy price: friendship. And for that, she gives freely.

(Need to go to first person narrative now--yes, this is an abrupt switch, but this is about the human.)
I try to read all of the WoW insider posts, including RP, GM, etc. They are well written and interesting. And although I am not really interested in RP per se; for certain, I love to write, but the writing and creativity must remain on my terms. The true hardcore RP servers seem to have rules, and unless it's avoiding a comma splice or verb-subject agreement, writing rules aren't for me.

There was a post recently about players leaving in RP scenarios. This isn't solely the domain of RP servers; and, as some would argue, anyone who plays WoW is essentially in some kind of RP mode. Having already experienced some loss, admittedly I feel a pang when I log into play and sees a player missing or in a phase mode (there's no other way to put it): players who have had to stop for awhile, hidden behind other characters, people, and voices. I'm not intending to be coy here--you all know that players come and go.  I wasn't prepared to write them out of the script yet. No "lost at sea" or "it was all a dream" plot glue here*. And the truth is stranger than fiction in some cases.

WoW Insider had a blog post today calling for blogs to help players master the game. Threw this one in, too, but not really sure how it helps anyone "master" anything. It's become a series of anecdotes and insights. It's not quite RP...but not quite "how to" either. Personal narrative? Journaling? True blogging? Perhaps there are so many blogs and websites already geared and specified for which gem should go in what socket, that I am hoping you come here for a story. Perhaps you have seen yourself during your time in Azeroth in some of the tales, or have a personal connection to Mat's story.

There is a human behind that character. For whatever reason, they are here. Now. On that server with you. They may be incognito, stealthy, phased, or on an alt, but just like Mat can't go in a level 85 heroic by herself with a basket of muffins and red cape and get to grandma's house without encountering a wolf or two, I am sustained by your friendship and stories, as well. Sorry if I got a little schmaltzy two blog posts in a row: but, didn't want those good deeds to go unmentioned or honored. That would be punishing.

*Some narratives just have to sit in an ice trap for a bit though.

Theme song: The Way You Look Tonight - performed by Tony Bennett

My champion...

Heroes come in the most unlikeliest of forms.

In fact, most heroes are transformative souls--no one is born a hero. But if there is a good heart, and desire to be better, and good, the hero will emerge.

To my young champion, you have Mataoka's sincere gratitude and thanks. You have always believed in her, and she in you.

Thank you for helping her defeat Ozruk this morning. She knows your human story, and your desire to be good and a true champion. If she could send a healing rain to you and your sister, she would.

There is no screen shot, no trophy, no boon or spoils. But sometimes the greatest rewards are seen only with the heart: thank you.


Theme song: All My Life-Foo Fighters

Three's a charm.

Luperci the Untested went from level 35 to 37 today*.  She has been in Scarlet Monastery graveyard and warrior's area a few times, and the Maraudon so much she is convinced she has a lung infection from the spores which no amount of cleanse is capable of dispelling.

But she is determined, dogged, and dedicated. The righteous will triumph. And, do not underestimate the magical power of "3"---

Door #1: Was told by a player named Junk or Punk or Gunk, something like that, that all tanks are for is "kiting."

Door #2: Was told to "range" the slimes, not melee, and healer, determined she was right, and Lupe was wrong, chose not to heal Lupe. Nada. Zilch. Hunter said he was out of arrows.

(Yes: read that right--hunter said he was out of arrows.)

Door #3: This was indeed a courageous, skillful group; intelligent, wise, strong, and fierce. They tore through Scarlet with no incident, ignorance, or insidiousness.

And, at the end, Luperci received the coveted Tabard of the Scarlet Crusade.  Her sister muse Mat has never received this, and is quite envious, but proud, too.

Luperci may have to take this to a tailor for alterations...(cough)

And already, even before level 40, Lupe has encountered more than her fair share of hyper-active shamans who are under the impression they are tanks. For this, Mataoka would like to apologize profusely; although she was never that hyper, and if asked to step back a bit, always respectfully did. Or tried to. (If you know otherwise, this would be the time to discreetly keep your mouth closed. We all alter memories a bit for mental safety!)

Luperci is really hoping, however, that the human won't see the need to change her into a male. There's enough sexism in the world, and probably even more so in Azeroth; but the world(s) need strong females, too. And if you don't think females have a strong sense of righteous fury...well, maybe you're out of arrows.

*Postscript: Reached level 40 - will be slinging shields to level 50 so she can wear her shiny plate armor - specialized style. She can wear the off-the-rack fashions now.

Let's review what paladin means:  http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/paladin

Shoveling achievements.

In her best Jedi voice: These are not the weeds you're looking for...

Oh, spring is most pungently in the air! Catch that aroma? Perhaps the Taurens have been out fertilizing Elwynn Forest.

Mat and Kaylyne got a bit of a break from the last What a Long, Strange Trip It's Been questing/achievement rounds from last February's Love is in the Air. Love was in the air, and it smelled a bit skunky.

The next one on the list is: Noble Gardener, which starts around April 24 this year. It's basket-chocked full of springtime fertility rites and chocolately-goodness. There are bunnies, Bunnies, eggs, chocolate, and more bunnies (they do multiply fast!).

As far as the Blushing Bride one goes she hopes the gentlemen of Stormwind consider stepping up and making an honest woman out of her. But don't expect it to last, and definitely keep the receipt on that toaster you bought.

Mat has this one, the children's one, and a few more on the midsummer flame achievement before she completes this year long quest, right about the time she will celebrate her May 1 dorkaversary, when she first started playing. What a long strange trip indeed.

Date night.

I am not sure how any GM does it: weaving those raids together, on time, with everyone ready: must be like herding cats.

Mat stays frosty while waiting for word...

When the best of plans and intentions go a bit off, what is the true social etiquette? Mat honestly doesn't know. If one is lost in a dungeon, or does something dumb (as Mat did the other evening, missing the achievement portion*), how much slack and waiver is expected from other players? If one says we shall meet again at this server time, and it doesn't work out, there is definitely grace and forgiveness proportionately related to understanding others' circumstances and intent. (That means: Mat knows you're busy, and she's cool with that.)  What Mat does know is she never wants there to be hurt feelings on anyone's side for when things do or don't happen, especially when in small groups for fun. When things are a bit more serious that's a different matter. She has been chastised for being overly-goofy and has caused her share of nerd rage; she would never want to breech proper form or manners if she isn't on time, or conversely, should just chill.

Mat and her friends had plans for tonight; to explore Karazhan. It was fun, even though one friend couldn't make it due to circumstances beyond their control. The entire thing maybe took about two hours; the waiting to find out if it was a party of two or three close to an hour.

This isn't really about where and whom to hang out with: it's about the how. The 24 hour day, time zones, work/school schedules, things that come up, drop off, or reshuffle are unexpected, just doesn't seem to cut it when you're trying to live a human life and a pixelated one.

And, since it's tough enough to live one life, and much more high maintenance to have two, Mat proposes she and her friends err on the side of slack and chill. We do what we can together when we can. And if she ever gets lost like that again, she promises to install a tracking device in her horns. Placing a bell around her neck was suggested tonight.

And now, the human is going to sleep. She has squeezed enough out of these hours as she can, and she has miles to go before she sleeps...



*Thanks for the dungeon redemption

Competitive edge.

Mat finally gets her Drake of the West Wind*

In the States right now it's baseball season. Mat's human has enjoyed her share of baseball games--big cups of cold beer, hot dogs, warm sun on face, more cold beer -- good times. Oh yeah - and there are men down there hitting things and running. Baseball players are notorious for their superstitions, routines, quirks, signals, and almost obsessive patterns. Extremely rational, scientific human beings will still knock wood or bypass black cats, just because, well, they don't want to tempt fate. Why take unnecessary chances?

One thing about sports in general is their analogous relationship to warriors/hunting. It's a primal thing--we need to get blood-pumped. Warriors' markings, tattoos, dances, chants, and huddles are all part of the posturing and swagger, which is intended to curry the favor of the gods, to buff us in battle, and so we can face our fears with our game faces.

Almost obsessively, compulsively, Mat will imbue her weapons with windfury and flametongue, spell not ready, spell not ready, spell not ready, torch up her lightening shield, and twirl around three times, tap boots with tip of bat, and nod to the pitcher. "R?"

"y"

But even the most sound of routines don't always have the magical effects we wish for. Fortuna is a fickle chick. In Grim today, she aided an achievement, Umbrage for Umbriss, and yet, group couldn't manage Forgemaster Throngus. Mat is convinced now she should have done a steroid screen on the hunter, (who was a free-agent) and the tank (a recent trade from the Cubs) who was most definitely in a state of roid-rage. Throngus and Mat go WAY back--almost old friends. They meet at the locker rooms, Mat nods to Throngus, "Sup?" Throngus, "How's it hanging?" He goes in his team's side, she in hers. She's not quite ready to resort to "performance enhancers" just yet outside of the normal ones - enchants, gems, flasks, and being well fed and buffed.

Her "team spirit" probably dissipated when she just helped the team earn that achievement, which means her focus was not on dps, but a balance of strong dps, and other strategies, and then to get the recount slammed in her face. That psyched her out a bit. The next go-round she was back on top, but come on, tank?! The tank and hunter were buddies, that much was obvious - "Hey Aaron -get 18k lol!" (Aaron did not get 18k, or anywhere close, unfortunately.) "K man!"

Yeah, whatever.

After hunter and tank managed to step in fire, die, pull unintentional trash, die again, they whined a bit. Mat thinks she'll go watch A League of Their Own again, because, bottom line: there's no crying in baseball.

imbue-wait-imbue-lightening shield!!

Theme song: Smells like Teen Spirit - Nirvana

*Only mentioned because doing the dailies is all part of the routine. She would have this drake much sooner, but man, Tol was taking its toll...


Postscript: Got in another semi-PUG later that was so much fun -- truly had a "team" feel -