OLRG: Follow the Frog Edition

A true hero does what he/she can: (Stick with this post - I'm getting to it.)

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Where do I start?

Hmmm….

Okay - here. The other day Tome posted a tale of a troll, and I thought to myself, "Well, gee, haven't seen one of those in awhile! I've run hundreds of LFR, I glance at Trade Chat, and maybe it was an off-day."

No - the rumors of troll extinction are just that - rumors.

Take little Sajja into an LFR. First, all the undergeared players ('undergeared' being a relative term since her gear level was more than adequate for that LFR) were called 'welfare players' because of the 90 boost. Several players shared that yes indeed, this was their level 90 boost, but they had several level 90s, and had years of experience in Azeroth. So, there's the "poverty shaming." Nice. And then red flag: a Dwarf shaman (SHAME ON YOU! You are a disgrace to both Dwarfs and Shamans, you asshat) says, "I am the only one healing?" Sure enough, his numbers were over 190-200K HPS. I remember something Navi said in her recent post about healing being more like a pie that everyone shares - healing is not like DPS. I looked over his gear and sure enough, heroic and normal level gear through and through. (And very ugly mogging efforts, or no effort, too I might add.):

See my comment: I thank him for joining us and bringing his great heals. Hey, kill them with kindness is always my first tactic! It seems to disoriented trolls with the Misdirection skill. Alas, it was only temporary - he was determined to troll us, and show off his great skills, and chide us for how shitty we all were. After the third boss, and several "LOOK AT ME AND MY BIG HEALING STICK" I finally just said the comment below:

And then he said this to me:

Now, I could be classy like Tome and not name-names. But this expectation of privacy is a double-edged sword, Good Sir Lindriss. You may be a 13-year old boy who was just seeking some innocent troll fun. You may be a shy 28-year-old who's socially awkward. You may even be a sweet grandma by day, baking cookies and taking in stray cats, and want to live in a complete 180-fantasy world. I don't know. But the thing is, if you're going to be a troll, do it right. An early LFR is low-hanging fruit, and not worth your trolling expertise! Oh wait, maybe that's it!! Maybe these sorts of venues are Proving Grounds for Trolling!! Oh my God why didn't I think of that before?!?!  They're honing their retorts and bait to groups who couldn't care less, just to feel that tingly sensation of typing asshattery on the Internet! (Happy 25th Birthday, WWW, btw!) I wonder if Bob and Tim had any idea about folks like Lind…anyway, no matter.

There is a word for folks like Lind:

SO - the Frog.

Please watch the above commercial. It says so humorously, so charmingly, what I would like to say about Azeroth: there are some things I am not going to do. I am not going to live out the Gringo fantasy and save the natives. (I might live out the Draenei fantasy, but that's acceptable.) But I am going to keep doing Old Ladies Raiding Guild, and we are going to see some new things together, or share recent things together. Saturday we'll start a 10-man in Mogu'shan Vaults - if I need to tank I will (ugh) but otherwise maybe I can get a volunteer. If it turns out we have more than ten folks who want to go, we'll see if we can get to 25 man or do this as an LFR. It really doesn't matter - because when we're together:

See you on Saturday!

Forty-Beats 7
Armando/Locos por Juana in a Zumba class:

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From Navimie...

Navimie has a lot on her mind right now: this just shows, again, how completely selfless and generous my sweet friend is:

Included in this epic poem was a Gregarious Grell - I named her Navikki. Notice my vanity in rubbing out the number (age). I know you all know how old I am. But in Azeroth I'm always 29….

Now, she had me cracking up laughing: she and I were talking about this on my Tuesday night. The big guild is trying to do 25-mans, and beforehand I asked my GM who he would like me to bring. The conversation I had with him is in keeping with a long-string of 'lost in translation' moments, but I'll write about that later. In any case, I brought the shaman, who is melee, and sat in melee-spew all night:

Get me a mop, quick!

I just sat back and looked at this mess. I don't know where to run, I don't know how fast to move. Raid awareness goes in the sh*tter for me. But as my favorite guild tank, Hawt,  told me last night while she and I were reflecting on it, "at least I try."

Anyway, what was cracking me up was Navi telling me since the poem was so long she spent so much time trying to kill things for postal money. I could totally relate! Too bad there isn't an account "mail box" where you don't need to go to such lengths to send a piece of mail in game. Gee, I don't know, something like an world-wide server or something. Wonder if such a thing exists. Included in this feat of strength and epic writing, the Gregarious Grell is as cute as can be, and says very odd things:

This seemed too coincidental to be random word soup, so I did some research:

I have yet to play Portal, but have seen its inner workings played by far more leet players than I. And as Tome and I share book suggestions, after finishing Ready Player One, I'd better get my game on. The future depends on it. Nah, the future really depends on what it always has: love.

Warmth.

I stopped myself from my post this morning. It was tough. It was one of those, "Here, let me dump all my real life stress into one little fantasy blog and see if I can break it." While at work, and I never do this, I happened to check Mataoka's stuff that she can sell on the AH. The Armory app looks at everything in your mailbox, too --and there was a Pierre.

A Pierre.

So as fast as I could drive home, I checked it, and sure enough, a Pierre from Tome.

I don't want to write too much more because I have to drive someone somewhere now and I'm starting to cry.

Thank you, Tome. I love it.

Yes, but is it art?

Answer: Hell yes it is.

Tsk tsk tsk...all these players who are devoted to reading Tome's blog dissin' on my...choice of...attire. Or lack thereof. 

Whatever.

TOME: YOU ROCK!

You know - I shouldn't be surprised. Before I read the comments, I was laughing to myself at something my buddy Turk said the other day, that I dress my characters often like a teenage boy's fantasy. I never considered that---I only considered my own fantasies --

As the blogger says, "Yes boys, even girls have fantasies..."

I could get into a whole big thing. I really could. Suffice it to say, I have a BFA (Bachelor of Fine Arts) in painting/printmaking. I took figure drawing. I see beauty in all forms, ages, genders, and revelations.

And if this doesn't get the computer fixed, well, gods help us all.

I LOVE YOU COOKIES!

Tome! Tome! Tome! Pay attention to me! I'm yelling on the Internet! Tell Ironsally to check her mail!

My Azerothian partner-in-crime knew we were trying to get you that Coilfang, and prompted a few trips on our AltArmy (yes, very similar to the Salvation Army --strange uniforms and a lot of bell ringing--) and see what we could do. I discovered that being ranged is far more helpful with reaching those tainted things, by a mile. My grand buddy Turk had lent me his so I could get the achievement (I have a post about Tito later), and I'm still in need of one, but no biggie. Señor and I have it down to a swift and sure dance. Lady Vash'j is no match: she now 'sleeps with da fishes,' if you catch my frisbee.

I think I'm going to check in with Hunter Kellda from time to time on that PVP server of yours. Shake things up a bit.

Postscript: Tome, Señor made sure that you would get this one and I wouldn't keep the first drop. Keeping me honest, dammit!

Teutonic Tenacity

There sure as hell better be a dwarf.

teutonic: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/teutonic

Play this LOUDLY, please: Rise of the Valkries

Tome and I have some plans this summer. Oh yes we do. F.U. Facebook friends going to Maui! We're going to SERPENTINE! No, wait, it's SerpentSHRINE, noob! But aside from that, there area few other things on my *cough* agenda...

I used to be a pro list maker. My mom's recent response to me over some building stresses was, "Well just make one of famous lists, honey!" Oh, mom...I have lost my list mojo. Maybe if I simplify...I'll just keep it to three:

1. The Val'kyr Pet SHALL BE MINE

Oh yes...someday....and a thousand miles of Northrend

Both Tome and Big Bear have excellent posts on how to get it. Not sure when I plan to do this. Apparently, the Matty-shack is going to the wilderness at some point this summer, and it involves purchasing bear mace. I don't really want to go somewhere that involves bear mace. 

2. Figure out warriors.

3. Shape-up-or-ship-out-shaman: Mataoka's going to get back to it, whatever "it" is. She is on a personal vendetta quest to get epic weapons, either by boss or battlegrounds.

OH - I have to add this, but it coincides with Mataoka - I am going to be throwing out the smoke signal if anyone wants to do Firelands for mounts, chieves, and finishing up reps. Very selfish of me, but that would be shokewl!

Roadblocks removed: Tome and Matty's Excellent Adventure -- All Clues!

Pink fuzzy dice beaten off a 

Due to unforeseen highway construction projects, the Tome & Matty's Excellent Adventure has been extended, and here are the final clues, rules, etc.:

Round I: Way-Out in Outlands...

The Rules:

1. Read the blog for clues. New clues will be posted with the regularity and frequency as time allows, but I do have a deadline, and that is June 17th. Unexpected construction! Deadline has been extended to June 24.There will be fabulous prizes! Yes, yes a pony! The clues will be posted with plenty of time to try, so don't freak out. I am going to ask Tome if she could host the winners, results on her blog that week, as I will be under construction myself. No, not plastic surgery. Although....

2. Try to find the secret locations: this round will have eight, and in Outlands. You will need an add-on that shows the coordinates, and screenshots should include this information. When you submit your screenshot, also please add the details of your find, the coordinates, and anything interesting that happened along the way.

3. You must, absolutely, must go on a land mount only. If you cheat, we have no way of knowing. But you will know, and the RNGs will know, and bring shame upon your family. Just sayin'.

4. This is important: Do not, please, do not submit anything to my or Tome's blogs. Only submit your screenshot and verification of the spot to our contest email:

wowroadrally@gmail.com

Note: This is a road rally, with timers, and such--it has a winner in time, so in your screenshot and message, put the a time stamp on it. If you have already submitted your entries, those who submitted first-come, first-served is the order. Don't hate, just have fun.

First Clue:

In the forest of Terokkar

Staring eyes haunt you

Chilling and cold

and though you may have traveled from afar

be brave when crossing

this terrifying threshold

Addendum:

...these are no ordinary lepidoteras

their pixie dust is fatal

but for Outland quests, this is a beginning

where the journey is in its cradle

Second Clue:

Rock of Ages isn't just a movie

This is where you go when things are not groovy

Seek out this place, and you will get tired

Sit and stay awhile, what's your hurry?

Third Clue:

If you eat these shrooms you will see double

And watch your step, there is bound to be trouble

Just there, in that knoll...

Watch out, there may be a troll

Fourth Clue:

The inhabitants here seem nonchalant

and even, perhaps, a bit gallant

But in their pool you try to fish

You will quickly soon wish

That you were somewhere else

Perhaps Vermont?

Fifth Clue:

There are trinkets and talisman

Sold from this gent

He will offer you protection 

Drop our names and tell him

it was us who you we sent

(but don't expect a discount, he hasn't that level of dedication)

Sixth Clue:

You can stand before this fearsome mother

If you get over your phobias and fears

There are many who can't be tamed

but if you treat her gently, hunters,

This one can be claimed

Seventh Clue:

The children of Azeroth need care

See if you can help this one

Lost in the ravages of war

Eighth and Final Clue:

There is a long tunnel

Similar to life

It twists, turns and pours us through a funnel

Full of joy and strife

What will you bring with you?

And what will you leave behind?

Let us know your story

(and don't leave out parts that are gory!)

Theme song: Roam/B-52s

(Seriously --watch and dance)

The prize:

Winner will receive an e-bay gift certificate for $50 to go toward a TCG mount or a Heart of the Aspect Mount

Theme Song: Route 66

*Thanks to Tome for creating that great image!
AND -lest I forget (it was early when I wrote this) Tome did all the heavy lifting to find Outland spots!