House in order...

"Open House"

Well, I made a tough but solid decision when it comes to raiding and that goofy shammy. Mataoka -- I have been feeling it for awhile. It isn't fun to be melee in raids at gear level. I have hinted and suggested I bring other better equipped characters - Kellda has "the" cloak, green fire, and great gear; Zeptepi is working on her cloak, but both warlock and priest are well represented in the 'big' guild, so they don't belong. I would have gone completely restoration on Mataoka, too, but they have great shaman healers and didn't need that either. Logtar is a wonderful GM/RL, and I adore Hawtpocket--she is one of the best players, raiders, tanks, and I just adore her personally. I told her I am thrilled we are friends in Azeroth, and hope to continue our friendship.When the decision is made to try a 25-man, and I'm already bashful about melee in raids, and don't have the experience needed (all my own fault) and then it gets moved down to a ten, I realize as I am looking at my own house, my own family, who falls somewhat apart without me; when I'm trying to raid, I ask for my family's time without making it worth my own or anyone else's. Then, when on Wednesday Hawt told me the guild was forming a flex and I asked the lead hunter if I could go and he said they were full (I didn't think Flex's could get full). This may have just been a miscommunication, I'll grant that. I decided to read between the lines and give a move some deep consideration. I am so proud and happy of how Drunken Fish has been growing. Having Mataoka there to bring points, play, and repuations to the guild will only further help it. Also, it dawned on me that it wasn't that I was running from something, but running to. Playing enhancement shammy takes a lot of practice and work. This character started off from the beginning doing everything 'herself,' and she is well-suited for achievements, solo-play, and the occasional goody bag from healing.

People often ask me why I stay at my real-life job. It is hard, it is stressful, and I am not being hyperbolic when I say potentially dangerous. But I stay because I contribute and effect change. My skills and expertise move mountains in my real life. Sometimes they're Sisyphean boulders, but I've mostly learned how to duck out of the way. Everyone wants to feel like they matter because guess what? They do.

All players say play what makes you happy--first, figuring out when we're happiest in game is not always obvious. But once we see that --it's a clear path.


Drunken Fish: Keep up the good work! Thank you for all you've done. We're almost to Level 19!


Oh, and I have been giving this a lot of thought too: http://wow.joystiq.com/2014/03/27/breakfast-topic-would-people-pay-for-character-faction-copy/ I would do that in a red-hot minute.

Drunken Fish Tank

First of all, a big thank you to my buddies who've started some alts on Whisperwind and taken up the cause of (The) Drunken Fish: Dahahka, Tome, and Zwingli. So much is written about guild culture, and I, too, have mentioned how much I love the little two-player cottage guild my buddy Señor and I created. But in all fairness, I realized it would be irresponsible of me to invite a few more folks into the Drunken Fish without thinking about guild culture. I anticipate no one is going to care.

Rule #1: Shhh. Coffee.

Here is who I am in the morning:

If you whisper me in the morning, I may or may not be too chatty. The morning time traditionally serves as my writing and thinking time, time to infuse coffee in my veins, and have no social responsibilities. My day-job is full of a lot of talk, human contact, and performances, and though I am a 'morning person,' I am kind of introverted then. This has worked out well with my partnership with Señor, because I'm pretty sure he's a vampire hunter in real life, working the night shifts, so not a lot of chitter-chat. Please don't hesitate to say morning, howdy, whatever - I just may not talk too much in return. Same goes for you: if you can't talk, or are quiet, just give me a smiley face, and I will take that cue as "shhh…I'm hunting wabbits…."

Rule #2: What Happens IRL Stays IRL
One of the other cool things I've always dug about my guild partner is even though he and I know some things about each other, we don't discuss them in guild chat. Many of you know A LOT about me, as in, if you wanted to send a drone strike to my house you could. The Drunken Fish is all about being in Azeroth, quasi-role-playing.

Rule #3: Nothing is off limits in terms of game play
You want to try a flex? Challenge Mode? Run a lower level character through instances? Just ask.

Rule #4: The Guild Bank is My Gucci Bag
I am not being stingy, it's just that the guild bank is my purse. Please use the guild gold for repairs, of course, and take what you can/need.

Rules #5: Mi Casa…well, you get it

When I imagine my little cottage guild, this is what is in my mind:

Even though this is the reality:

In other words, I love my little guild, and am really proud that two friends got it to where it did. But we can't do it alone, and I really appreciate the help.

I've told Señor to be nice (he told me 'Nice' is his middle name) and he will. In fact, I only hang out with cool, funny people, and this is a good thing. Welcome to the Drunken Fish, my friends! Bienvenido! And no, Señor will not teach you dirty words in Spanish. I asked.

The "F" Word, Invisible Unicorn Horns, and the Bunny Bum Nibblers

This is a video NPR reposted this "crowboarding"-the cure for the 'winter blahs.' This immediately made me think of Tome. She and I have had a few conversations about what 'fun' means, and this crow definitely has the right idea. 

Now, a lot has been on my mind lately; a lot is on everyone's mind. We all feel like we're playing Whack-A-Mole constantly in real life. One thing gets done, two problems pop up. One place I do not want to feel anxiety is Azeroth. Stress, however, or a sense of competition, or achievement, now those things are not so bad. It may seem odd to include stress in that mix, but there exists a place for this emotion. It gets us going, gets us moving and shaking. Anxiety, however, not so much. One recurring personal theme of mine is that not everyone 'gets me.' It's like an invisible unicorn horn on my forehead that remains unseen until poor communication draws it out, into the light, so everyone can see it and laugh. This metaphorical appendage is something I've learned to cope with, by and large. I don't think too much about it until I have an exchange with someone and it's clear my invisible unicorn horn is showing. 

Tuesday night I asked my GM if he had a preference about which character to bring to a 25-man. I have gotten the feeling from him I am a sub-standard enhancement and restoration shaman, (which I am) and there are a lot of good shamans in the guild so far. I think he misunderstood my question has having him make the decision for me, as opposed to try to help balance the group. I was told when WoD hits there was no place for 'alt-hopping' and he didn't know why I didn't like playing my shaman. 

Unicorn horn growing.

When it got down to it, since I'd never done SoO on my stupid-butt-die-and-die-again melee shaman, why not? Sure, sure my DPS/damage hovered near the #10-#15 slots. Sure. I was on time, and waited for about three other players, but they are key members of the guild and raid team, so of course we waited. One of our tanks, Hawt, is amazing. But we didn't get through all that they wanted to. I kept thinking to myself damn that I don't have my cloak yet on Zep or Momo--I have much more fun healing on Momokawa especially, but alas…no cloak. Now why Blizzard can't f*cking make it one main, cloaks for all..anyway. 

So last night the gulid was talking about challenge modes. Again, me and my big horn. I said I wanted to try them because they sounded like fun, and I was quickly told they are not "fun" and while I tried to combat what I felt was negativity I made some jokes:

Sure enough, someone said the line - (being funny)

And I said something about how challenge modes had caused some issues in some guilds, but not for me and my attitude, and this next line cracked me up:

Obviously, I need to get to know Cevere and and Kazzta better! They seem like my kind of folks! (Note to self: next guild name, Bunny Bum Nibblers.) 

Moving on, was told "would sit back and eat popcorn" while I presumably failed if I tried challenge modes. Yup. I am going to fail. Over and over and over again. Just like the big kids. Just like Michael Jordan:

"I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can't accept not trying."

I was then told I misunderstood the popcorn comment. UNICORN HORN ACTIVATED. 

Oh well. Fuck it dude. Let's go bowling.

In other news: TOME IS AWESOME. 

Just sayin.

She knows I have an invisible unicorn horn, and loves me anyway.

PS F stands for FUN

Home again, and Beware the Cloud People

On the flight home I sat next to a little boy, probably about four, and he told me he wasn't afraid of anything. His friend was afraid of heights, but not him. Nothing.

Except: The Cloud People.

I told him he should write a story and change the ending; this seemed to inspire him and he said he would write a story so boring the Cloud People would stop reading it because it was so boring and then leave everyone alone.

I leaned over to his mother and told her she should be writing all this down, and she confessed it was hard to keep up with him. I gathered that. But I may have to steal the Cloud People, and write a colophon of sorts publically acknowledging this small blue-eyed muse. I am not a nice grown-up, because I have no qualms about sharing an anecdote too amazing like the Cloud People.

Now I sit and have so much to do! That was a lovely trip. The last lunch we went to the Bluebonnet Cafe, and I ate, of course, chicken fried steak and ordered two sides of fried okra, and was a bit too ambitious. I swear, I didn't eat another thing for the rest of the day, and just digested the lunch like a python after a goat:

Before

After

And I wonder why I need to see a doctor about chronic issues. 

I am very happy to be home, and also to say if anyone wants to park a low-level character in the Drunken Fish, my dear friend Señor and I are welcome to the help of getting the guild leveled to 25, an for the company. But in an effort to be clear on expectations: Zeptepi is the Jefa, the boss. The stuff in the bank is her personal purse, and though you are welcome to anything, it is her bathroom cupboard, her junk drawer, and her moveable feast. Señor doesn't even take stuff out (he's afraid of her wrath, I am sure). All races are welcome, of course, but Draenei girls get preferential seating.  It's just science.

Guild Subsidy Board

You know what I want, what I really, really want? I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really, want!

(Sorry - woke up at 2AM for a spell and I'm a little loopy right now.)

Just two things:
Mass Resurrection and Mass Summons.

That's all.

Don't care about guild pets, mounts, fish feasts, lobster dinners, open bars, pretty tabards, green rooms of chat, guild banks, guild perks, guild discounts, and I sure as hell don't care about the drama. In fact, just yesterday I joined a Black Temple transmog run with a group of strangers and ran into an old guildmate, who confessed that one of our former guildmates had said something so offensive and pissed him off so much he stopped playing for a while. Now, I can tell you, this person was always cool, laid back, and never caused fuss or drama, so when he told me that an eyebrow definitely got raised.

All I want is to run with PUGs, SLUGs, MUGs, and LFR, or BYOB, or COD, or DOA, or MIA, when I choose, and in the process of getting to know new players, which often translates into more enjoyable gaming time (LISTENING, BLIZZ?) [yes, I said often] -- then why not give all guilds those two perks? If someone is trying to set up a quick run in new or old content, allow every player to mass summon. No matter what. If there is a misstep and a wipe, relieve much of players' stress with a mass resurrection.

I am stating these requests because I truly believe they will encourage positive social interactions. Everyone needs a chance to play, and everyone needs a chance to escape their big guilds from time to time, too.

Here's my analogy: Traveling somewhere, you see one of those posh VIP, frequent flyer exclusive lounges. Completely off limits. Those weary business travelers deserve their space, free Internet, and cocktails before the flight. They travel and have earned it. But the thing is, if the plane goes down (God forbid), everyone's going down together. All of our asses are occupying a seat on that plane, so why not provide the two things that help everyone? 

Any thoughts on how we can get this to happen?

Classifieds.

This is getting tired, but sometimes, gee whiz fellas, WoW is too much like real life.

In my real life, all I really want to do is my job. I love my job. It's interesting, creatively challenging, and meaningful. Can't beat that with a stick. But the workplace, or sometimes the ones in charge, are a mix of genuine leadership to selfish 'empire building,' with their own agendas, and think nothing of putting a heel or well-shined shoe on the backs of those who do the actual work. That's nothing new, just how it goes, and it is what it is.

One project I've been putting off is getting my resume together, both as an exercise of organization and a means of exploring other possibilities. They say that luck is what happens when opportunity meets hard work/preparation, or something like that, and I want to be ready in case I get my "big break." But, what I like about my job and place of employment is it has a big emotional tie, and that cannot be ignored or discounted.

So, reading I Like Bubbles' post on the New Recruit Curse, it occurred to me that it's too bad there isn't a means of  finding guilds, like a job fair, where guilds have a means of putting their mission statement and culture, philosophy, organizational structure out there. Perhaps there is, and I just don't know it. Finding a new guild so I can raid on my shaman seems incredibly daunting and perhaps unnecessary. (What would be a better option is to be allowed to stay in the guild you're in, but a beefed-up means of networking. Something in between a PUG and a Guild membership. I just don't know enough other players, and that takes time.)

The thing is I really like my guild. Most players seem to like me, too. The things I would change are not in my control, because it's not a democracy (boy, sure haven't had much luck with that one, eh Ancient Greece?), but if I could change something it would be there is a set ten-man raiding team, on a set schedule. If a player can't make it, there is a pool of players to choose from, and it's up to them to find an adequate substitute. But, I can see how that could become unwieldy and chaotic, too. This both puts less work and burden on the GM, and more: second-string players would need to go through some vetting process, and if they didn't perform well, then, there would be issues, I am sure.

The choices are mine to make: suck it up, and start PUGing raids? (Shudder...Too Hot) Get my healing skills up so I have more 'value' to the team? (Oh, no! OOM! OOM! Too Cold...) Or, just roll the dice with the other DPS'ers who don't have immunity (and believe me, this special brand of immunity is NOT an option for me: I'm not even sure what it means) and then go play alts when I lose the roll? (Ah, this porridge is JUST RIGHT.)

I do know that over a delicious bowl of green chili stew last night, I had some time to think about it. If I had to put a resume together for Mataoka, what would it say? "Beautiful, kind-hearted, witty enhancment shaman, takes directions well, prone to sensitivity over nerd-rage and trolls; high item level and dependability, seeking 10-man team to raid twice a week: pay for repairs. Have gems, will travel."

Or, as a young druid told me, just give everyone the middle finger and go collect pets.


Directed to this link by a friend last night - love me some data: (really, I do!)
http://www.worldoflogs.com/

Postscript: Went back and read this post, too: http://www.furlinedteacup.com/bibleofdreams/2009/02/10-things-you-should-know-about-raidingthat-your-gm-shouldnt-have-to-tell-you.html

Culture clash.

Recent thoughts on Guild Culture from expert bloggers/players:

http://www.furlinedteacup.com/bibleofdreams/2011/08/why-being-organized-is-important-for-creating-a-positive-guild-environment.html

and

http://forthebubbles.wordpress.com/2011/08/10/guild-culture/

Of course, these two posts are as different as their writers. Author's style and audience awareness are key.

Editor's Note: Please check out Manalicious' post on guild culture, too: http://manalicious.wordpress.com/2011/08/10/guilds-cliques-and-you/

Again, I can't help but draw parallels between my culture at work and my time spent in Azeroth. If I think on it, the reasons I adore my guild is because they are the opposite of my work environment, or I should say, the opposite of the powers that be. In my own little cadre of rogues, druids, priests, and paladins at work, we are just as tight-knit as any group. Some have gone on to other places, because they could not tolerate the constant crashing on the rocks that has been the norm rather than the exception. Our captains have been promoted to admiral mid-voyage on more than one occasion, leaving us crew to batten down the hatches. They took the compass with them, and the sextant fell overboard. My stupid metaphor would be imagine doing a five-man and every third one the tank leaves mid-fight. That would get old, wouldn't it?

If I had a boss who was like a great guildmaster, this boss would trust my professional judgment, my intelligence, and in general, make me feel like they liked me. And would probably not put too much pressure on me (check) and be respectful and funny (check, check again). That's all anyone really wants, just to feel liked. Unfortunately, some people, when they sense they don't fit in or are not liked, react so strongly, and basically go kind of bat-sh*t crazy. I've seen it. The crazy.

I have had bosses who make me feel like I'm a worthless human being. And I have had bosses who never make me feel that way, who make me feel like I'm working "with" instead of "for." Guess which one is more motivating?

Sometimes people stay in any situation because of the old expression, 'the devil you know is sometimes better than the devil you don't.' The important word here is 'devil' because most leadership has to be tough, strong, and make difficult decisions. And it can be evil. It can become a war of attrition when someone doesn't fit in, and the others make their lives so prickly and uncomfortable they end up leaving. Sometimes, we foolishly wait for change that is systemically impossible. In other words, it ain't ever gonna happen. It's tough to let go, too.

In my parallel worlds, I will stick it out in my real life work, because ultimately, it is important, and I'm good at it. In my virtual world, I'm getting better at that, too, and need to remember that if it's not fun, it's not worth time there. So far, the fun comes from the friendships.

And I thank heavens my bonuses and payscale aren't tied into my dps scores.

New kid.

I read on Twitter that I Like Bubbles is planning a post on guild culture. Knowing her acerbic style, (which we all love), it is certain to be really damn funny.

When you're honored with the Avengers, you get really good stuff, like bowler hats and umbrellas.

Last night, got to go along to Firelands again - because of summer, visitors, other real life plans, my addition is something new to the group, and we are having a challenge in finding healers who can match the skills of the guild's existing, long-time members. I mention this because group dynamics cause for static cling and shocks.

Needless to say, downing Shannox wasn't quite the walk in the fire-park as it was last time, but we did get him, and his little dogs, too, as well as a lot of trash, so my reputation with the Avengers is halfway to honored. There are some tasty purple things when you prove your worth to them. So, hopefully with my own schedule demands permitting, I can get back in there and take out some more trash until I get at least to honored. The spider boss is a really fun fight, too, when I don't fall through the holes or disoriented on the web.

Now, we have a new healer. (We seem to burn through a lot of healers: I blame myself. We all know I love to run into fire...I get chilly and forget to bring sweaters...)

And, I hesitate to write anything about a guildmate, honestly. I am old enough to know that first impressions are often not accurate, or if they are, they are usually one fraction of a person's complex character. For example, during an interview years ago, I was told that I was "flip and irreverent." Both of those traits may be true, but I thought I was being "charming and witty." Even yesterday got some feedback that I can be "overbearing." Also true. I talk too much, and can be a little high strung when there's a lot to do. One man's overbearing is another man's work ethic.

But the impressions were this: he seemed very casual about showing up on time, or at all; and afterwards whispered to me he was bummed he didn't get some shoulders or whatever, that another player was awarded. We all want the goodies, that's for sure. (Nothing dropped that a beautiful enhancement shaman such as myself would want or need, unfortunately; I am truly the original working girl, grinding through this game is my middle name.) The player who did get the shoulders is a long-time guild member who has more than proven her steadfast, calm, and skilled play. Not only did she deserve them, but if there had been more to offer her, she would have deserved any and all boons and rewards available. I do not know her that well -- she is quiet in Vent, but strikes me as a no-drama, strong, calm force in the group dynamic.

And I guess I've been hanging around my guild punks too long (they are adorable), because I didn't even get annoyed, bothered, or flustered by any of their teasing. I am teased for getting lost. For dying. For dying while lost. And I suppose they said some comments about my reputation in terms of what might get written on the bathroom wall sorts of things --didn't even notice. My very good friends know what rank titles they give to newcomers, and as I have said I needed it explained to me. My current title is hilarious, and I am very proud of it, even if I share it with ten other members, male and female. It's not that I'm prudish or that naive, but all of their teasing about my directional skills or sexual repuation is just that: teasing. It means nothing.

But new healer asked me about it, why did the guild call me X or say Y.

Not sure why.

Did he think...no, never mind.

In any case, he and I ran a Zul afterwards, and he was very sweet and polite. Even thanked me for the run. We had a psycho tank who was calling us all noobs, even though the shadow priest was doing 20K on average, and my dps was the lowest between 9-17k. It was a sluggish night. He abandoned us in the middle of the Halazzi fight. It was kind of scary in a way, because I knew on the other end of that intertube was some creepy, raging jerk. We got a new, nicer tank, finished up, and all was well. If the prior tank hadn't abandoned us mid-swing, we may have been able to do the bear run. Instead, I watched in horror as the last prisoner was taken out of her cell and burned in front of me. Knowing this is the fate of this beautiful troll means I will try a little harder to rescue her on the next run.

So, what's my point? I don't know, really. Again, I just feel grateful for my friends in the game whom I trust,  made me laugh, dried my tears, and just been sweet as honey. You tolerate my irreverence and overbearing moods, and I am a lucky girl indeed. Now, here's some Comet and a sponge: go clean off those toilet stall walls.

Postscript: Big shout-out to my favorite literary term--it was great to see you, and always fun to have you around!