Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Goblins, Gnomes, and Calling All Angels

Calling All Angels, real, bottled, and virtual
The other day Tome posted a fascinating post about her observations about there being filth and flies in Orgrimmar. She noticed that there were flies buzzing around when an Alliance character stepped on the scene, but none when a Horde character did. Granted she gets so many comments with all her posts, but this one really sparked some conversation, more so than usual. I tried to tell everyone that sometimes I didn't see any flies with my Alliance characters, and if it is a "thing," perhaps it's the manure on the boots of the Alliance characters, and they are the rude ones. Ah, the consternation. The debate was on. Well damn. My fatal flaw: lastworditis. I really love both sides, and think each have something to offer. If adding flies or not determines the character flaws of any particular allegiance, then oh Blizzard, why, why?!
Goblin Dance
You all know--of course, because you are intelligent folks--that any meltdown at my so-called 'IRL' profession never seems to dissipate as fast as a shaman's healing tide totem. I said I was sorry! But after a conversation with a caring colleague (oh, he really should play a priest or druid--what a wonderful person), who just let me cry and rail, it occurred to me that the animosity of the group is really just a good old-fasthioned "let's turn on one another" pack mentality. The mentality, the fall, that never recognizes or sees the villain in the lair, using his fingers as temples, roofs falling and rising with knuckles and tips, laughing quietly as his plan comes to fruition. However, the evil forces of corruption, villainy, and friends, did not cause my ignominious response. I cannot tolerate lack of imagination. And this intolerance costs me dearly.

But there is a cure. In fact, there are many. And you might miss them, unless you look very carefully. They come in deceptive shapes, usually lithe Blood Elf, practical warm Dwarf, or soft-spoken Night Elf.

These images are soothing to me, delight me, and inspire me. The above is from Pictorial Arts, a place I visit when I want to be sprinkled by burnt umber, Titian red, and wise brushstrokes. The gnomes were irreverent impostors of guilded garden gnomes at the Chelsea show of shows.
Chelsea Gnomes

A few other important things need to be said. I just burned the rice for dinner because I was too busy writing. It's okay. It was the second pan-ful. The first batch was delicious. Yellow curry, scallions, fresh chicken, and basmati rice with pepper and butter, soy, and ginger. Now the house smells like burnt popcorn with an Asian edge. Okay, back to important things.

Kallixta sent me a pet.  I don't have a screenshot handy, because it's on the other computer, and I'm in the living room with burnt rice smell and happiness. That's life though, isn't it? Wait-no--stop --no metaphors about burnt rice. Stop it. But yes, happiness. I know someone creative, intelligent and kind like Kallixta. What an angel.

Thank you Kallixta. I am sending you these gnomes.

Also--while fishing in the Dalaran fountain Ceniza struck up a conversation with a very kind druid. His real life story is he serves on the USS Laboon, and he is one of the nicest players I've met in a long time.

For you, working on your Salty title, I wish I could bestow it upon you

And as busy Navimie is, she is never too busy to send a wave, and Cymre is never too busy to answer a question, and Iocane is never too busy to talk about sweet, gentle things going on in the world, Erinys is never too busy to explain British colloquialisms, and Turkic is never too busy to try to help me wrangle a pet, Tome who is never too busy to ponder life's bigger questions, and Señor is never too busy to tell me a joke and make me feel better. One day at a time, right sir?

So to all my angels, no matter what package you come in, you are a blessing and boon to me.

Angels and Sailors/the Doors


  1. I just never know what I'll get when I come to your blog Matty (whether it's a change in theme or the contents). Times like these I'm glad we've all found each other :)

    1. Me too Cymre - with all my heart.

  2. Oh wow, maybe Cat should try fishing in Dalaran and see if nice people hang out there on Fenris!

  3. Iocane6.6.13 I'm blushing. :)

    I did notice the flies when I was doing the weekly Barrens quest. And when I clicked on Vol'Jin, there were descriptions of his lack of hygiene. I'm not sure why, but those things bothered me a bit. It just felt...wrong.

  4. What? Trolls smell? (Shawndra sniffs in the general direction of her armpit, accidentally sticking her sword up some poor bystander's nose) Didn't notice :D I'm sure Delgada has a lovely embalming fluid smell about her, left over from the preservative they gave her upon rising from the tomb. Have to preserve what's left of her girlish figure, right? I imagine Carlatta smells like old sweat and dust. Durotar was a hot place to grow up, and you don't leave your home without some kind of accent. Lulubelle, well, warm cow is a familiar smell. She doesn't hang out near the manure pile, so I think her slight beastly odor is augmented by the smell of freshly "mowed" grass. As for the blood elves I try not to name, if they smell of anything less than the most expensive perfume, no one would dare tell them for fear of what magic doom might befall them.

    Trolls, from lore in and out of game, are very dirty creatures. They eat raw meat, they live in mostly unimproved shelters, they hang out under bridges and exact tolls. Would they be as fearsome if they smelled like rain water and kept their hair in more civilized style than dreadlocks?

    1. Jeni, I want to be the first to congratulate you on your recent "Win of the Internet" Award in the category of "Best Euphemism" and overall-best in show for "Smells Like Teen Trols."

      Now, to go see if I can get these hedges trimmed....


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