Sunday, January 12, 2014

A Decollage of Draenei, a Dazzle of Draenei, a Drive of Draenei?

Draenei already look like demons, so….

Vidyala at Manalicious gave me an idea the other day - a complete set of Draenei: http://manalicious.wordpress.com/2014/01/10/draenei-a-complete-set/

I realized I am well on my way! Draenei can be:
1. Shamans
2. Priests
3. Mages
4. Warriors
5. Paladins
6. Monks
7. Hunters
8. Death Knights (limited per realm, though)

Notice anything? Glaring hoofism!!! No rogues? No warlocks? And the fel powers belong solely to those who would drink of the blood? Draeneis are like dolphins, I think--oh sure folks think they're all nice and "higher beings," but no, they are capable of anthropomorphic mischief, too. Draeneis would drink blood, wouldn't they? No? No warlocks? Fine. Whatever.



OLRG: Oathmaker Edition

I am not great at the whole "this is the shared topic week" thing - not sure why. I'm usually pretty good at calendars, enumeration, and transitioning into the "big picture" view too. In any case, I received this e-mail (I'm registered on the feed, of course) about my Blog Azeroth topic, and it was for the week of January 4-10:

Click here for website. (and post links)
And, lo and behold, dorky me, look at all those great posts! I also realized that when I reformatted my blogroll a few months ago, some great blogs mistakenly were missed, and I need to rectify that situation immediately.

Reading the posts is a treat: they are well-written and thoughtful. And it made me think, the Old Ladies have an oath of sorts, too. Imraith joined us on her warlock, and our numbers tipped just over 10, so we were in 25-man mode, and struggled with the volcano-hot-foot chieve. My version of being a 'fearless leader' is in reality more of "nagging scold," I say, "Never give up! We got this! Once more with feeling!" Give up an achieve because of one wipe!? Balderdash. Drop group because you feel squishy? NEVER!

So, to the OLRG, a draft of an oath:

When the forces of evil unite
We Old Ladies are up to the fight
Warchief or King, stand aside
Mount up! Mount up! Onward we ride!
No beast or monster is too strong
No keyboard mishap can make us wrong
No backwards Matty-shirt
Shall make us eat dirt
Or bugged locked gate
Shall give way to hate
No RNG meddling, or mog drop missed
Shall ever take over our desire to /kiss
No silly achievement choreography
Will make us forget simple geography
We are here because we want to be
And unlocking fun, we all hold the key

We the Old Ladies
Shall persevere
To make Azeroth OURS
We ARE the cool-kids' table
And shall make it ours as long as we're able!


Dragonray also has another challenge, with wonderful judges! Navi and Cymre put up links:
http://www.bubblesofmischief.com/2014/01/11/mog-the-world-in-80-days/
http://frostwolves.blogspot.com/2014/01/dragonrays-mog-world-in-80-days.html

And here is this week's current Blog Azeroth topic, Mountable Mounts. Check it out!

Saturday, January 11, 2014

OLRG: SPOILS TO THE VICTORS!

Uh huh.


Oh and the Seahawks won, too.

OLRG: Stormy weather...

Ve are gunna pump-u-up

Unless our power goes out (the wind/hail has been pretty fierce today) I'll see ya'll at 4PM to get our staffs on! 

…er….

Nothing personal.

If you look carefully, Kairoz is seen at the end of the Vision of Time film…roll credits...
Somewhere on a legal pad,whereabouts unknown, the draft for this post sits patiently, with detailed, bullet-point concepts. I don't know where that notepad is at the moment. At this current point in time, I'm playing Kellda, who needs  6 5 more Secrets of the First Empire, and 38 more bars of trillium. The trillium is easy: just some time farming and Momokawa can whip up those ghost iron bars before you can say "Malfurion's beard." Things in our control - wonderful. Things that the RNGs determine? Not so great.

But…those things in our control. That is the tough one to untangle. Even more difficult are the factors that are not in our control, but we are under the delusion they are.

Take for example: other people.

No, never mind.

See that handsome blood elf in her Instagram shot, Kairoz? Well, mark my words, he is up to something, in cahoots with the Prince. The Prince has been keeping Kellda busy trying to get her cloak, and in her evil ways she whispered to the human behind the keyboard, "Hey, psst…you should try to get one for your beautiful healer Zeptepi too, and maybe Luperci, Who Is Not A Fail Tank…and remember Momokawa? Sure, she'd like one too before the next expansion…those cloaks really do make a difference in spells and healing, so…."

Ugh.

Right now, at 9:10AM, I have tried to do the Forgotten Depths many times. Tanks leave, trash is inadvertently pulled, soulstones crushed, you know. Though supposedly the Secrets drop from newer LFRs, I have yet to see a single one, and these older raids seem to promise greater potential.  I am so frustrated with Mataoka currently - is her gear terrible? No. Is it good? No. Did it progress in step with the other Draenei and Human chicas? No, not at all. Finally Haanta received the Gorge Stalker belt recipe (after every PVP gear recipe and some professional leatherworking days with no recipes) and just said "Here ya go, toots…knock yourself out." I realized that I am at a plateau with that shammy, and that is depressing. Should it be? No--it's a game.

Thursday night my big GM whispered me if I come heal the normal. He did not have a chance to tell me it would be only until another regular raider logged on, or only temporary. I had just made myself some dinner, a big, greasy, cheesy plate of nachos, and my fingers were greasy, and won a healing mace in LFR (yes, it's been that long), and wanted to make a quick enchant for it, and he said fine, but hurry. Grease off fingers (as best I could), enchant on, no food or flask buff, and off I went. For some reason, during hotfixes and patches, my whole system goes to junk. That's my polite, lady-like way of saying it. I noticed during several occasions on different characters I would cast a spell and then "POOF" be somewhere else in game, or turned around, or upside down. Kind of makes it tough to heal or dps when one is randomly pixelized somewhere else.

I also noticed that many, many times I am promised the satchel, but since the coalesced zones, etc., the promise of this satchel rarely materializes:
Not only does it not work out, it "disappears" while waiting in queue: quite the bait-and-switch
This has happened perhaps ten times in the past two weeks. Yes, I need to inform Blizzard. Okay, I'll get to it. On my list. Along with finding the legal pad of notes. Along with everything else.

Anyway, back to cheesy fingers and priestesses: I did horrible. I had no idea where they wanted me to stand, no offer of food or warlock cookies, just hurry, hurry, hurry, and though it was only Immerseus, two players died, and I struggled. My fingers slid all over the keyboard, my nachos looked at me balefully, cooling and congealing, and it was frustrating at best. Oh, and course no good loot either. Baby needs a new pair of shoes, ya know. GM said regular raider logged on, thanks for the help, don't let door hit you on the way out. Don't blame him. (He didn't really say that--he's a nice guy.) But I was upset. I realized I hadn't reforged Miss HealyPants Wingbutt in a long time, and since I was waiting for the mace, didn't want to waste my gold. I went in to Ask Mr Robot, and H11oly HOT, Zep - EVERYTHING was wrong, down to the last stat. What.The. Hell.

And the nacho debuff didn't help either.

But even when players are knowledgeable, (I was going to say "we" but can't put myself in that category), things are still ridiculous and stupid. Tome must have known how I was feeling because she linked me this from WoW Misadventures. Even when we try to be in control, the expansive world of Azeroth does not allow us entry. Too many locked doors, too many gatekeepers.

Kind of bullshit if you ask me.

And by not saying "we" it is the truth: the other night two players were in Vent, and one player asked another about being a shaman. I am there, on my shaman, having played her for about four years, and no one asked me. Now, it could be due to casual sexism, that men in game subconsciously think other men are more expert than women, (men are always impressed when women do a good job tanking), or it could just be he had questions he knew this other player could answer. The thing is, I didn't speak up because keeping track of nerfs, buffs, stat changes and the like has become SO EFFFING BORING. (This is also known as: I had no clue.)

There. I said it. Take back my Geek Cred Card if you want. Cut it in half right in front of my face. It's boring, stupid, lame, annoying, and IDGAF. (Figure that one out.) Wait. IDGAFF.

None of these things in Azeroth, however, can be taken too personally, if at all. We play with people we like, and we forgive them, and they forgive us.

Can't wait to see you all, Old Ladies.




Friday, January 10, 2014

Beauty School Dropout

Hey, WoD: You can keep your lore, your new raids, even being alt-friendly:

New hairstyles.

No more Farah Fawcett flips.

No more Halle Berry soccer-mom bobs.

No more flat-iron bangs.

(I hope.)



Thanks, Chris G. Robinson for playing my guardian angel: off to follow you on Twitter!
@artofgrobinson




On a serious note, we've done this in the Matty-shack, and known others who have, too:
http://www.locksoflove.org/mission.html

Thursday, January 9, 2014

5:1

1:5
One of my guilty pleasures of late has been to click and read inane articles on Facebook, etc., that are the dentist office/nail salon equivalent of reading materials. You know what I'm talking about, articles about how to bolster a relationship/marriage, bake a casserole for .19 cents, live better, live longer, live happier, etc. Oh, and live prettier. Sure, that helps. And if you can't be pretty at least 'own it' in a TED Talk. Hey, we all can't be Kelly or Jane McGonigal, now can we? This concept struck me, however, of the 5:1 ratio in a marriage - I've heard it applied to relationships generally. For every one negative thing you say to someone, be sure to say four or five positive things. The thought of theorycrafting a marriage or partnership distilling to a simple mathematical formula is fascinating. When your partner accuses you of 'keeping score,' you can say, "No! I'm simply making sure our love stays strong!" I have often suspected that Azeroth is operating under this same formula. For every "5" happy-happy-joy-joys it gives us, there is "1" negative or complaint. We stay in this relationship because overall, we get pretty things, we live in a wonderful fantasy, and once in awhile, we get stuff. I think, however, the formula in Azeroth is far more unbalanced, closer to 3:2. For every rare mount, pet, or loot drop, there are far more repair bills and chests full of gold and a few weak potions. It starts to feel somewhat like an abusive relationship. When we quesiton, "Why does she stay with him?" I think we players also ask ourselves this every time we log on: why do we stay? Well, and like any relationship it takes work. And saying it takes work kind of sucks. But the maintenance of keeping the love alive in our affair with Azeroth shouldn't be so hard. That's what real life is for. Oftentimes I sense that I am Wendy, all grown up, and the Lost Boys are just that - boys. That's when I know it's time for a regrouping, a reflection of sorts.

Although that Onyxia mount does make up for a lot.

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Mr. Snerguls, HALP!


Mistakes, errors, grammatical blunders (undistinguishable, Matty, not INDISTINGUISHABLE? For the love of Strunk & White!)
Mr. Snerguls, or Snergulllsss, or Snergggles, recently went on an ill-timed trip to Chicago to see some relatives in the Field Museum (okay, so they stuffed taxidermic displays of some relatives, but still,

FIELD TRIP! FIELD TRIP!
he showed me where the spell check button is, the little green check mark with the ABC icon, the little icon which at least picks up most grammatical typos, if not homophones. The other day I even typed "no" for "know." What the hell, Matty? Seriously? This is the one thing you're good at, or at least you tell yourself that, and yet you can't slow down enough, not hit the publish button long enough to read and edit thyself?


Poor Mr. Snerguls. He's in a deep-freeze, stuck at O'Hare airport: he wanted to help me during Flex raiding last night. Finally, FINALLY- "we" (aka I) got to Garrosh. For some reason, maybe it's my bad memory, our Tuesday Flex nights when I've been able to be there we (I) haven't gotten up to that point. Mataoka's gear is sub-par, her loot drop RNG luck as been as cold as a craps table during a Mid-Atlantic storm, and she just can't seem to get it together. Let me be clear: the guild and normal raid team (I'm not on it, but that's cool) has gotten through it just fine. Flex is for new players, etc., and those alts gearing up. On Garrosh, during the "sucked up into the yuck" I and another shaman died 3x in a row. I finally just ran under his skirts (Garrosh's, not the other shaman's) and survived. I let out a private cheer in my house. Small victories, small victories. My buddy Turk said some of my problem may have been due to a slow computer: I appreciate that but no, it's slow fingers and reflexes by the computer's operator (cough). We got him down to 1% twice, but of course, overwhelmed by the MC and other nonsense. But we'll get him (I hope) next Tuesday. I saved one of my coins for loot I need, and alas, gold and more gold. Oh, and really glad to know hunters got a 10% buff, cause you know, hunters were so weak and frail. (No one loves shamans. No. One.)

Oh, and it was CD Rogue's birthday last night too, so that's making me feel pretty good about myself, (insert sarcasm font), that I abandoned him for a date with Garrosh (who stood me up, the bastard), and a plate full of sugar-free chocolate cupcakes and homemade chicken pot-pie (seriously, if you have a box of Bisquick, cream of mushroom soup, chicken thighs and mixed frozen vegetables, everything is going to work out).

So, how did I end up with a mish-mash post such as this? These are all the things on my mind. I hate the story I started about the druid, am embarrassed I can't seem to get my grammar sharper, and I am redundant, and I can't kill Garrosh, and and and…is it wrong to eat a cupcake for breakfast?

I think I'll just go fly around on my pretty dragon and pretend I know what I'm doing.

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Tiny Story Time: Lucky Cat

"Girl," Mrs. Whitworth believed she heard her, "Girl, go. You are too cowardly. Go."

The girl hated to be afraid: her mage sister struggled in downing the dragon, and returned with terrible stories. But the mage bragged, and came home with her tail between her legs.

She twisted her head on her neck, feeling like someone was talking to her, but couldn't hear a voice. Mrs. Whitworth wrapped around her ankles, and meowed loudly. "Oh, why not," she asked Mrs. W, "So what if I die a horrible, dragon-breath death?"


Mrs. Whitworth tagged along, and whispered something in the dragon's ear, something indistinguishable to the girl. No matter: they all flew home in style.

OLRG: Ringer

Saw this image yesterday and it reminded me of our ringer, Neo:

Just doing my job, citizens!

I have a lot more to write this morning, but I goofed around near Mudsprocket because I thought Onyxia might hand over the keys to her car, but whatever. Folks have been saying they want to go to OLRG events, and trust me, we are PRO! Tome has a Vent account all set up for us, and we need/greed to our hearts' content.

Here is the general information:
1. Always look here first: I'm the point-person for this stuff. It doesn't mean someone else can't run it, start it, do it, bring it, leave it, etc. If I can't make it I put it on the blog first.
2. Saturdays, late afternoons, before cocktails and dinner parties, cause I know we all go to those.
3. Time: 4PM Pacific. I live near Seattle, Washington. That would be 5PM Mountain, 6PM Central, and 7PM Eastern. The rest of ya'll I can only direct here: http://www.timeanddate.com/time/

I can tell you that that is 9AM in Sydney, Australia, the next day (Sunday), which means Cymre has been very dedicated!

So, more to follow - must go dry hair, grab some to-go coffee, and put on a happy face!