Monday, January 21, 2013


Weirdest advertisement ever.*
Well, damn, everyone knows of current falls-from-grace that have been going on in the news. Can I just go on record and say that I knew it all along? Yup, that's right: Oprah's OWN network would struggle. Anyway--unless you're being sponsored by the US Postal Service, you are probably safe in consuming as many flasks, elixirs, and potions as you'd like.

Strolling through the drugstore the other day I saw this on the shelves:

Horny. Goat. Weed. With Maca. What the Hell?!?! After some investigation it turns out it is for exactly what the label says, and is an aphrodisiac. I had to buy it, of course! Judge me not folks, because you know if you saw "Gnome Enlarger Vitamins" or "Dwarven Digitalis" you'd buy it too. Kind of a pricey sight gag, but still, worth every penny.

Now we all have drank a flask or two in our time in Azeroth: there's potions for power and elixirs for enlightenment (or there should be). My favorites are the ones that do tricks, such as Potion of Illusion or Pygmy Oil.
Mataoka as a human...

Ceniza as a cool little gnome rogue...
I think we Alchemists need some new cocktail recipes, things with a bit more sparkle. Potions that make us not just more powerful so we can win seven Tour De LFRs, but more mojo and magic. The professional recipes and training have been way too passive for my taste this expansion: yes, the enchanting, blacksmithing, tailoring, and leatherworking have some new recipes to learn, but nothing, at least for leatherworking, that's all that great. But for alchemists and jewel crafts, the daily grind produces mixed results. I must admit I like to be in a little more control when it comes to choosing which things I am going to create. Also, one minor complaint, but things like the staffs that an inscriptor can create versus the very expensive mounts a jewel crafter can conjure seems a bit unbalanced. No, no, wait! I didn't mean that RNGs! Don't make bind-on-account staffs cost 20k to make, too! NOOOooooOOOOo. Me and my big mouth!

Better go fill up my pie hole with something to drink instead.

*This is an ad for Dewar's Scotch, and the actress is Claire Forlani (of Meet Joe Black and Mystery Men). I can't figure out who she is telling to go back to sleep in the backgroun - her rich octogenarian husband while she scoots around the liquor cabinet late at night with the pool boy? Whatever it is, if drinking Scotch is going to make me look like her then pour me a double!

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