Sunday, June 30, 2013


I have two posts today: one is a straight-up rantfest, and the second...not. I need to get this one off my chest piece first. You may just skip it altogether if you wish, but there are some good nuggets and links, so, stick around a little bit, okay?

At the Matty-shack there is an expectation of independence. For the most part, it works extremely well, and creates an atmosphere of functionality, harmony, and domestic bliss. In other words, we give each other space.

There are occasions, however, where the old maxim, "If momma ain't happy, no one is happy" comes into play.

I am the momma, if you haven't guessed.

For weeks now, my Mac has been awful. The game play is bizarre, lagging, choppy: for example, even when I am in the Shrine the music soundtrack sounds like a skipping record. Every spell I hit is muddy, every cast time a lie. When I bring this up to the expert in the Matty-shack, one C.D. Rogue, he shrugs, grumbles, and tells me where to go to figure it out for myself. He does this with the intent of creating an independent person.

Meanwhile, it will be 90 degrees here today, and the A/C is working great. Subtext: his priority to get it fixed, not mine. I am sitting here in a sweatshirt. But that's okay. Part of his health issues means he runs warm, and keeping him comfortable is important.

Haanta tried Galleon this morning, and due to the glitchy nature of the computer, was left with nothing but bones and haunted mementos. Postmaster recovered her item, though. It wasn't a new computer.

And a confession: the Wrathion Thunderforge quest that was giving me fits? I had to call in young leet druid to save the day. Young Leet Druid has been playing since he was about three days old, and watching him move a character, even one he is unfamiliar with, is like watching Bach play, as opposed to my clumsy chopsticks. He is a virtuoso. And even he said, Matty, your mouse is awful, your computer is a mess -- you really should fix this!

Yes, I guess I should.

Every time I log off and on, every time a player taps his foot waiting for my slow-ass splash screen to load, every time I lag and miss a shot or cast, every time I stutter and stall my way through Azeroth I get more and more frustrated. It's not that I can't figure this shit out, it's that I DON'T WANT TO. Maybe it's a woman thing -- oh, I'm being sexist. Trust me -- both genders are equally capable of understanding computer programming, technology, etc. One of my favorite first games, Phantasmagoria, was designed by a woman. But even that game play stalled out on me long, long ago. But damn, it was fun as hell while it lasted. It's not a woman thing, it's a me thing - I just want shit to work. I am not a tinkerer--I want the ink to never run dry, and the pixels to flow freely.

Everyone except Young Leet Druid and myself has been playing Kerbal Space Program obsessively. Okay. Who doesn't want to pretend they're John Glenn or Neil Armstrong or Sally Ride? Come on now! And they all stayed up till the weeeeeeeeeeee little hours of orbital joy so there is no one who can advise me on computer repair this morning.

Now, if I were a bitch, scold, nag, harpy, shrew, fishwife, etc. I would yank a knot in their chains and get them down here to fix this shit. But alas, I must admit ---- there is no small part of who I am that doesn't value my independence. If I fix it myself, I'll have the knowledge and power. Alas, sometimes, though, I just want someone else to do it.

I actually own this magnet. True.

As I am looking over Facebook just now, a link to a John Hodgman post sparked my interest. Think about it -- a NEW BREED OF HUMAN!?!?! I want to consume MORE!

Judge John Hodgman Rules via The New York Times Magazine

SAM WRITES: "My friend Emily listens to the vast majority of her podcasts at triple speed. I feel as if she's missing out on nuance and timing. She argues that the only way she can consume all the pop culture she needs is by listening way faster than intended."

It is said that humans and Neanderthals coexisted for many years before Homo sapiens triumphed. And so you live briefly alongside Emily, who represents a new human species, trained by the Internet to absorb cultural data at posthuman speeds. Soon her kind will devour you. Before she does, however, you might ask her to experience what it was to be human by listening to podcasts in real time (she will know it as slow-motion bullet time) for historical research.

Listen to the podcast and submit questions for adjudication to

So, just know today I'm going to be doing some investigating on my end of what I can do to clean up the mucky bytes. I just want to play.



  1. Before I married the hubby, I was pretty capable. Thermostats and computers and hooking up stuff to the TV was easy. Now, I'd rather shoot myself that do any of that.
    When I first started driving, my dad showed me how to change the oil, gap and replace the spark plugs, change a flat, even adjust the pulleys so that my belts would sit right. Now, oh please, if hubby can't fix it, it better be an inexpensive fix, because i won't touch it.
    Call me princess and put me on my pedestal. Hey kid, make me a sammich :P

    1. You and I share very similar stories: I was (and am) a very capable person - changing oil, etc. At my stage of life, 'time is money' has a whole new edge. Princess? Damn straight!

  2. Anonymous30.6.13

    Ooooh, Phatasmagoria! I remember that game! It was awesome. :D And Roberta Williams rocks, I still have a soft spot for the King's Quest games.

    Computer-wise: I am not too familiar with Macs, but if your computer is still fairly current (WoW is pretty forgiving, unlike a lot of other games), it is probably a virus/trojan/malware of some sort slowing things down. Even being careful, I run into them sometimes. Run a good cleanup program, like Malwarebytes, to diagnose and remove them. That particular program keeps my mind at ease. Hope that helps some, Matty. <3

    ~ Effy

    1. That was a cool game - wish something like that was out and updated! Thanks for the tips, too! Much appreciated!


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