Friday, September 14, 2012

The Misunderstood Lock

This is how I level alts:

I just do.

I read the new spells, and I try stuff out, and now with the "Talents for Dummies" system, stash some dust in my bags and off I go!

I am loving this warlock, Kellda. Kellda is about my third incarnation of trying a warlock. I have one sitting on Navi's server, Escarlata, in the twenties, not doing a whole heck of a lot. I have one I started a while back, Kélda, and then Hildebruja, for the guild. They didn't need a Dwarf warlock anymore, so I changed her to a human, changed her name, and away we went. (I am still questioning my sanity over abadoning her uniqueness as a Dwarf lock. I may want till next payday and come to my senses.)

She is now with a friend's guild, and is!

Why didn't you casters tell me? Oh, wait, you did? Guess I couldn't hear your giggles over the sounds of my any case, first there was Zeptepi, who isn't so hot at Shadow Priestiness, but Ceniza is smokin' hot as a fire mage, and now Kellda is amazingly fun.

(Cue sound of tire wheels screeching to a halt...)

Let me say this: My morning began with a thud, a call to 911, a lot of black coffee, and panicky emails to work. All is fine now. But, when I got home, I just wanted to curl up next to my big, strong, Felguard and smoke some baddies. I had to stop by the drug store first, and included in my purchases was a huge bottle of Fireball Whiskey, 250 miniature Tootsie Pops, free-trade cherry almond chocolate bars, and a Hello Kitty Pez dispenser. Don't judge.

So, I queue for dungeons, like I've done all along, and get Utgarde. The tank leaves. Second tank arrives. Cheers! He asks me to get rid of my Felgurd. Qué? I think he spoke Portuguese. I trotted out my macro, and asked him to explain.

Here is the exchange:

bruxo: wizard
coloca: places

So: I am chalking this one up to two things:
1. Something was lost in translation.
2. Perhaps I need to study up on my Demonology a bit more.

Here is what I think their spells should really do:

Imp: Go all Steve Buscemi on everyone's ass with amazing acting skills and range
Voidwalker: Hug-giver and wish-granter
Succubus: Bitch, please. Has the number of good divorce lawyers and scrapes out players' banks.
Felhunter: Cannot be tamed by Cesar Millan, and is never, ever housebroken
Felguard: Pre-emptively kicks azzhats from groups

I am pretty sure I was kicked for arguing with the ref, penalty box seven minutes while waiting for new group. Which was fine. I do wish folks knew warlocks a little better: they have amazing ways of releasing aggro, of damage and dots, and all kinds of cool tricks. But no one takes the time, sits them down and says, "Gee whiz, Kellda, tell me about YOUR day?!" do they? No. Well, before I stalk off to the basement of the Slaughtered Lamb, and ask Jarel Moor for a double, and make it snappy, buddy, I'll start to do a bit more research myself.

*grumbles something about stupid paladins and their taunt and booooo and mumble mumble.....*

Theme Song: Behind Blue Eyes/The Who


  1. Anonymous14.9.12

    I've heard Warlocks are more fun in 5.0 and I see one on my recruitment list. Just something I haven't gotten around to.

    I wish my drugstore was like yours...granted most of those things would kill a system that runs on very little sweets, but just to have such a diverse receipt after the grocery store would be nice...especially the booze part.

  2. Oh, I don't eat the chocolate. It's for my girlfriends who do; however, the cinnamon spiced whiskey? Mine, all mine. Me and Hello Kitty knock a few back. We just passed a law to have liquor in stores recently, it used to be state run. So, it felt weird to buy it there, but hey...laws of convenience!

  3. I'm pretty sure the Felguard is the weapon of choice now for Demo, but lol, getting kicked in Portuguese is very exotic! It must be Portuguese because it's almost sorta Spanish but not.

    Poor Warlocks, so misunderstood. And people wonder why they hang out in the Slaughtered Lamb and drink? Well now they know!

    1. Well, Jarel is some kind of eye candy, too....! And I thought you would know, being somewhat of a Lock-pert! Maybe that'll be my new goal: get kicked in every server language!

  4. I bet if you were a female gnome lock with pigtails they would have kept ya. :o)

    That is pretty lame though that they booted ya. Like Tome said, Felguards are the weapon of choice for Demo locks. I say, if it happens again, go ahead and dismiss him and then just cast Fel Flame or Drain Life the whole time. Then if they say anything about low dps you can say, "My dps is low because you made me put half of it away".

    Actually, that would be kinda fun just Drain Life-ing away...Drain Life, Life Tap, Drain Life, Life Tap and so on...hahaha...I might have to try that some time just to see what is said to me.

    1. Thelandira, you are most likely right. Should have stayed low to the ground. I know, crazy right? That I didn't want to spam two spells? The minions remind me of pull-string toys sometimes with their catch phrases: "What happened to your friends?" What happened indeed! Man, if a girl can't count on her Felguard to have her back, who can she trust? That imp? Pffft. Cause I had better go make another macro: Meus DPS é baixo porque você me fez colocá-lo fora.


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