Dear Matty: Lurker Edition

Dear Matty:
In real life, I am a loving husband and father, responsible worker, and all-around good guy. But since I was a kid I always enjoyed drama, writing, and role play. My favorite books were manga, and I was a Pokemon master! When WoW came along, the RP part of the game and its adventures were a natural fit for me. For years I've created characters and exchanged all manner of dialogue. My avatars are my alter-egos, purely for fun. But my wife...oh geez...this is going to sound like such a cliché...doesn't understand. She watches over my shoulder and reads what the other RP guildies are saying, and let's just say she does not approve, nor want me to "hang around them." I have tried to explain to her many times it's just a game with a storytelling element. She plays a lot of Candy Crush and was an avid Farmville Fan, and Angry Birds, but has never been an MMORPG'er. Heck, she doesn't even like to dress up for Halloween! Of all the so-called hobbies one can have; golf, model trains, canning and pickling, you know, manly stuff, she would tolerate I suppose. How can I get her to trust that this is purely about the story, and my only chance to play superhero?

Paranoid Paladin

Dear Paranoid:

Your concerns are not only personally valid, but the on a global scale, too. This morning I read an article titled "Congress Debating If Putting A Fake Name On Facebook Should Be A Felony" from techdirt, by-line Brad Kriss. Dios Mio! I am about to put in a call to the Guild Lawyer, a one Mr. Atticus Eat-A-Finch, feline familiar, to check in on my avatarial rights! (This is a real thing, by the way.) I realize however, you're not really asking me what the Department of Justice is up to, but the Department of Homeland Security, aka domestic peace. You can go one of two ways: first, tell her this is important to you again, you need a tiny bit of breathing room, please, and don't play so much and pay more attention to her. Kind of a shaky option. Second: give up most of your RP time with others, and start a set of characters with her and get her in on the fun. Also a little wobbly. The reasons why these options are potentially flimsy because you need to be honest about what you're doing. When we create friends, and enemies, in our avatarial lives, they carry over to our real ones. We truly do care about one another, and are concerned, and carry the weight, of each other's burdens and triumphs with us emotionally. In other words, we cross lines, and it can be painful.

That's kind of heavy, isn't it?

But let's consider the second option. Ask her to think about some of her favorite TV, movie, or book characters. (Yes, this feels like homework, sorry!). If she could play one of them, who would it be? When she's done, (and listen, don't talk), tell her she totally understands you, and how much you appreciate her allowing you time to enjoy the game. If she wants to start a character with you, then let her try. Just be clear with your fellow guildmates or RP friends you have her joining too, and the framework may change. It's perfectly reasonable, responsible, and right to tell others for example, "My son will be using my character sometimes, so yo may not get a response in chat," or, "My wife and I are starting characters on a different realm, so if you see me pop on in battletag, and I don't respond, that's why." Anyone in the game who doesn't respect that isn't worth your time. Having said that, and listen carefully Sir Paladin: if you have to give up your WoW friends they will truly miss you, and be saddened. This may be a sacrifice you will have to make for your real life, however, and real life always trumps virtual. 

As far as laws being passed to make playing with our imaginations a crime, I say "HELL NO." And it's not a crime if you have a virtual life, too. When reading the article, I couldn't help but think of one of my nephews who started a Facebook page for a puppet character he created. Does the DOJ want to eye him now too? God almighty.

Consider this quote:

The tagline read: looking at you, G.R.R. Martin...
Just say no to censorship...

Theme song: Rockwell/Somebody's Watching

Anyone have any advice for Paranoid Paladin?

Dornaa saves the day...

 There are many quest lines that are heartbreaking--the loss of Gwennyth Bly'Leggonde, Theramore and its shattering losses, heck, I'm still not over Woo Ping. Never will be. But as the Pandarens say, "Enough of that!" I want us to put our collective noggins together for the cutest, happiest, sappiest quests in the game.

One of my favorite places in Azeroth is the little-known Tainted Forest. I am sure I've written about it before: it's truly a fairy-tale place -- dark, lurking, haunted, and spectacular. It's one of those zones I'm sure the artists at Blizzard had fun designing, but never quite got off the ground, perhaps it's one of those "in between expansion zones" that no one needs to go to in order to level. (Cause it's all about the leveling isn't it?) One of the most darling of all quest is "The Future of the Rockpool" quest. Baby murlocs are on what appears to be an aquarium crate, most likely holding bad doings of naga spawn, and while fighting off naga of all sorts, and kicking down false idols of snakey Azshara's, you tug this little group along until you find a moment to get them off to the sea. Granted, there are also flaming crabs that will pinch and bite you along the way too.

They...are adorable.

So fellow bloggers: what are the most adorable, darling quests you can think of? I know Navi's heart melts with Lunk, but are there others that are just too damn cute to pass up? I mean really, how could you say no to this face?

Postscript: Made this a BlogAzeroth shared topic.

Arm's length...

So far, so good. Didn't run out of coffee, found the new ink cartridge; still can't figure out how to get the scanner to work on the new printer. I've set up tens of printers over the years, but this one...even reading the tutorial, it's frustrating. Every time I read the directions, go through the steps, the Canon printer does a "Harrrummph!" and does not speak to my documents. Do not think you've bested me, Technology! You really don't know who you're messing with...I have a credit card and a sledgehammer, and I can fix this...

Okay, so before I go off to fight the TechWars, I wanted to point your attention to Tzufit's response to "Community Blog Topic: Is Leveling Too Easy?" Her insightful response is one of those "WIHWT." Wish I Had Written That ones.

This hit home:

A prevalent value judgment made by the majority of WoW and MMO players is that, unless you are willing/capable of fully understanding your character and class at max level, you are doing something wrong.  As a community, we largely fail to recognize that it entirely possible to have a blast playing WoW while not necessarily understanding everything you’re doing.

Some of my player buddies have noticed I started another shaman. Their responses: "You sure do love those shamans!" Or, "Another shaman!? Why?"

I don't mind them asking, but must confess I wish I had that option of "invisible" mode we've all wished for. Not ignore, not DND, not Away...just "not here." This thought lead me to think about all the ways we actively, passively or aggressively, keep ourselves away from others. It started with phone messages, voice mail, then fax machines and e-mails. Gone are the days when a secretary handed over little pink message slips with exclamation points marking something urgent, or having a real face-to-face conversation: "Mr. Jones, a woman called who said she was your wife, and it sounded like there was music in the background. She didn't want to leave a message."

But we are in a dangerous place, fellow humans. Maybe we've been there for a long time. We can't seem to help ourselves from wanting to bump atoms, and be the social creatures we are, and yet, it causes us mental rashes and friction. This is a theme I should be exploring in writing and reading, and that's all I probalby do anyway...who we are to each other, and how it changes.

To me, the poignancy of "not necessarily understanding everything you're doing" and still trying to figure out how to have a blast in life, or get through the muck, is the what it's all about anyway.





Theme Song: I Believe in Everything/Alberta Cross
(Lyrics)
(The full YouTube version wasn't available in the States)

Goodnight, moon

Tonight as I'm going to bed,  CD Rogue asked me, "Did you save Azeroth?" He's been obsessively playing Kerbal Space Program,  and I'm feeling the lost Prince of Persia weekend all over again.

I have been feeling in a funk off and on for a bit, it happens. Lessons I should know well seem to keep making repeat offenses, such as, "I have a big damn mouth and should mind my own damn business" lesson, and there's the other one: "Take a hint, dork." And the ever popular, "If you just went for a walk or read a book you'd feel better."

The answer to his question is "No, I didn't save Azeroth; I tried."

I remember why I started this blog-- I thought it would be so clever to do a play on words of sugar & spice, and stake a claim that I could save my own bad self from dragons. Alas, I cannot. If muddying the waters, making things complicated, or crying over spilled mojo was a thing, I would win. I haven't been able to save anyone, or even help anyone-- my superpowers seem to come up short at the Elwynn Forest border.

Right now I'm trying to tell myself to take tomorrow off from Azeroth. I don't seem to be doing anybody, including myself, any good. Steer clear of the routine, the ritual, and the noise. But more so, the silence: the vast gulfs of unsaid thoughts, edited for better or worse. I'll report back soon.


Oh: If you want a visually stunning tale, that though the book seems big in paper usuage, there aren't a lot of words:
The Invention of Hugo Cabret by Brian Selznick

All Together Now...

Sir Paul, July 19 2013 Safeco Field, Seattle

I'm not worthy.

This is when I know what a hack writer I am: I am afraid to define the truth, or unable to capture a moment in time.

Months ago, CD Rogue acquired tickets for Paul McCartney's concert. We spent the grocery budget on them, which was fine. Who needs food when Sir Paul is coming to town? We asked cubs if they wanted to go too, but they declined. I wonder if they will ever regret not going to see one of the last, and seminal, remaining Beatles? I am actually starting to get a little teary thinking about it. But it was their choice, and though they are both musicians themselves, a night without parental supervision was more alluring. For the record, I was born the month and year the Fab Four came to the States. Forever and anon, UK: thank you. Thank you with all my heart. Now you all know how old I am, but after seeing 71-year-old Paul take the stage for three and a half hours and go non-stop, three encores, and return to his young wife, well, damn: there is something to this clean rock lifestyle after all! The couple next to us and we laughed because we looked around and wondered who all those old people in the audience were?

He did all the great ones, and some new ones, too. I came back from the ladies' room to find CDR, eyes red, from a tribute to John: the clear message: tell those we love them before it's too late. Do it. Now. Don't leave the words unsaid. To come back to a grown man in tears --powerful stuff.

So: Just as I love and cherish the people in my real life, to my blogger and play friends, I love you too.

He sang all my favorites--Paperback Writer, he did a tribute to George by singing Something, starting off the piece using a Gibson ukulele George had given him, and during one of the encores Yesterday. He had the audience singing like an English pub to Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da, and All Together Now.

It was truly, thoroughly epic.

CD Rogue turned to me at one point and said I should watch the Sound City documentary.

And--then--

Paul brought out Dave Grohl and the remaining members of Nirvana on stage.

Now for those of you who may be unfamiliar with Nirvana: the late, great Kurt Cobain, heroic Dave Grohl, lanky Krist Novoselic, friendly Paul Smear, well, it's okay. When Nirvana hit the world, I was living on the east coast at the time and thought: Oh...there's...what's....yes.

My reaction to Dave Grohl, Who Would Marry Me If He Knew Me

However I'm not turning this into a Beatlemanirvania fest anymore than I have, cause I need to say this: many moments last night I wish I could have somehow shared this experience with my Azerothian friends. I wish I could have told you how courageous I know many of you are, how hard you work, how much you do for your loved ones and families. Those songs are for you, they are for all of us. I love my time in Azeroth with you, but oddly enough, the things I wish and pray for you aren't in Azeroth: they are in the real world. If in any way, I have brought a smile to your face, or helped you think about something in a new way, then my work is done. Sorry to get so soppy, but damn, one doesn't meet rock royalty every day. The majesty's a pretty nice girl, and I want to tell her that I love her a lot but I gotta get a belly full of wine...

Oh, he sang this too:

Click.

Some things to note: I say the word "money" at the beginning, as in, "I would bet money." Also, at the end of the video is a tall, blonde security officer. He thought CD Rogue was partaking of mage's herbs and told him emphatically "NO." Efffing fascist. The smell of herbs wafting through the air was all around us: why he singled out CD is annoying as hell. 

Footnote:
Driving home CD said he was saddened by the absences of John, George, and Kurt Cobain, and wished he could replace guns with guitars. (I wish I could replace cancer and illness with guitars, too). I asked him "If everyone had a guitar instead of a gun, what would the ranchers do to shoot rattlesnakes and coyotes? Without skipping a beat, he said: "El Kabong."

Zombie chow...with mayonnaise

Navigator Meyer, HMS Kraken*

You know? I swear sometimes Tome is psychic. Just the other day I was asking the big question, "What is the nature of mistakes?"We all make them, but not all mistakes are created equal, or have similar consequences.

See Navigator Meyer up there? He's in charge of the big wheel that safely takes Alliance passengers from Stormwind to Northrend. He's done the voyage millions of times. And yet, there he is, in his Alliance blue and gold, expertly trimmed mustache and beard, and what's that? An eye patch? Somewhere along the way he and one of his eyes parted ways. Now, we're not sure if it was a Bloodsail pirate and the business end of a cutlass, or if he slipped in the kitchen on some spilled mayonnaise and fell into the dog's water dish just so. We will never know. But what we do know is something was miscalculated: either he parried when he should have dodged the end of that sword, or he should have stayed home in bed, or dammit, why oh why didn't he clean up that damn mayonnaise? (Did you know that Chileans consume the third largest amount of mayonnaise on the planet? I did not know that until I watched the Daily Show yesterday on Tivo).

A quote to ponder from one of my favorite writers, Tom Robbins: (although I think my odds are slightly better with the rattlesnake...)

“Nature is not infallible. Nature makes mistakes. That's what evolution is all about: growth by trail and error. Nature can be stupid and cruel. Oh, my, how cruel! That's okay. There's nothing wrong with Nature being dumb and ugly because it is simultaneously--paradoxically--brilliant and superb.

But to worship the natural at the exclusion of the unnatural is to practice Organic Fascism--which is what many of my pilgrims practice. And in the best tradition of fascism, they are totally intolerant of those who don't share their beliefs; thus, they foster the very kinds of antagonism and tension that lead to strife, which they, pacifists one and all, claim to abhor. To insist that a woman who paints berry juice on her lips is somehow superior to the woman who wears Revlon lipstick is sophistry; it's smug sophistical skunkshit. Lipstick is a chemical composition, so is berry juice, and they both are effective for decorating the face. If lipstick has advantages over berry juice then let us praise that part of technology that produced lipstick. The organic world is wonderful, but the inorganic isn't bad, either. The world of plastic and artifice offers its share of magical surprises.

A thing is good because it's good, not because it's natural. A thing is bad because it's bad, not because it's artificial. It's not a damn iota better to be bitten by a rattlesnake than shot by a gun.”

― Tom Robbins, Even Cowgirls Get the Blues

We all make mistakes: I know a few perfectionists. During the past week, my boss pointed over to a colleague I've worked with for years, in fact, where I lead many of our collaborative works, and she asked me if I knew this person. This person just won the "I got this award that all of you deserve too but someone decided that my shit stinks far less than yours" award. This put her in rockstar status in my boss's eyes I suppose. It's a bit galling I guess. I also have another colleague who sent me a text one afternoon not too long ago about the AWARDWINNINGROCKSTAR, to the effect she wanted to stab a pencil in her eye. Hmmmm. 

Anyway, here are some NPR/TED talks on the subject, but I like this quote:

"When we start losing our tolerance for vulnerability, uncertainty, for risk — we move away from the things we need and crave the most like joy and love and belonging, trust, empathy, creativity." — Brené Brown

So Raid Leaders, Guild Masters, bosses, and noobs: heed this post. You will be the biggest buzzkill, joy-stealer on the planet if you forget we all make mistakes: even you. Don't make me stab a pencil in your eye. OH! OH! Maybe I just solved the Navigator Meyer mystery of the missing eyeball!! 

*By the way, I had this screenshot of Nav. Meyer way before I thought of this post, because Kellda saw him and thought he was kind of dreamy, and was thinking about a narrative between them....I am so weird.

Maybe Proving Grounds is just what the doctor ordered...

Sometimes the bear eats you...

If you disagree with this post go get your own blog.

Ever have one of those days? Those days you tell yourself, in spite of mounting evidence to the contrary, that you should do anything, anything, but what destiny, what fate lies before you? The fate you keep plunging toward, falling on swords, and tripping over feet? Today was one of those days I tripped over swords to fall on feet made of swords over my own feet. It was bad.

And this is one of those posts where I shouldn't write/publish based on emotions, those damn woman emotions!

Maybe if I put it in bullet points, I can be concise and logical (although is testosterone logical? It thinks it is...but it's not, not really)

• Some of the worst LFR groups I've seen in a long time while trying to get a few things
• And I don't mean one or two: I mean more than ten, on every character..
• Total meltdown on Kellda the Warlock today - and I mean epic failures of epic epiccy epicness - so much so it should be a new achievement: Make A Minion Cry - 20 points.
• My own failings at shaman healing, so much so when I told my RL I'd leave, he didn't try to talk me out of it (PS He shouldn't have: if I was holding back the group I should leave- no harm no foul in that)

Why? What happened?

Well, for starters, "managing expectations." When the RL tells the group "we all know the fight" and it's my first time doing a normal 10-man, that learning curve was too steep for me. No one else as far as I knew knew how noob I am to this. My new UI is horrible. I'm still having computer issues, and my mouse went nuts. I was awful. I dispelled at the wrong time and the priest told me "I hate you," in that smug way that only priests with midwestern drawls can, and though I told the RL I was at 60% durability, he decided to wait for me to repair. My shaman is sitting right now in the Shrine at 50%, crying her eyes out, wishing she's never dropped a totem or said how-do-you-do. Poor thing. Not to mention her human who's crying right now too. 

Being new to a group is tough. It's even tougher when expectations aren't clear: I am new. I don't know everything. Please stay near me and my totems and don't run into traffic. 

I have been seriously thinking for a while now about Azeroth. It's funny when people tell me "you want something else out of the game." To me, that's like telling me, "Oh, you want that broken down truck, and not the new Lexus, cause that's what I see you driving." 

But I just suck. And I am taking my ball and going home. I can't handle smug priests or cute warlocks anymore. Guess sometimes the bear does indeed eat us. Hope I tasted good. Roast draenei on a stick.

I need a /hug

Keeping the crazy in...

Pretty much sums up my inner mindset right now.

I was trying to keep it under my hat, but since Tome went and decided to put a Goth Bratz doll and show off her Helm of the Fierce Bison on her blog, well I guess now the story can be told.

Yes, the only souvenir I bought for someone else besides myself or a family member was the Helm of the Fierce Bison for Tome. In turn, she sent me a Spectral Porcupine. It's lovely. It's shiny. It sparkles and makes me happy. When I found the HOTFB - yes, now it shall be the acronym HOT-B, it was in a little shop by the only diner in Yellowstone that had a half-decent burger. I am warning you all now: the food in Yellowstone has much to be desired. Many of the food services are run by privatized companies that know that travelers have no options, consumer voice, or "vote with their dollar" rights. I'm not saying the US Government could have done better, but the food and lodging SUCKS. It's overpriced, small portions, and worse than most school lunches. That's right: WORSE THAN A SCHOOL LUNCH. The cheese fries CD Rogue ordered were covered in something that may at one time been 1% dairy and 99% snot. No joke. When an establishment can't even do fake hot cheese right...we are all truly going to Hell.

Did I mean to go on a rant about privatization of our natural resources? No. Sorry. I'll write my congress people a strongly worded letter. Sure. Right after this next LFR.

Anyway, I bought my own HOTFB at a small shop, and the next day when we were leaving, and I saw how much Tome appreciate my creative millinery mastery, I knew I had to pick one up for her too. I perused the sounvenir shop by our lodge (this is after creepy hotel clerk guy, so I was a little shaken) and the only knit cap was a moose. A moose? A moose will not do. No. Not a moose. MUST BE BISON! I went ahead and purchased the moose, and then --no -- not going to happen -- this is about to turn into the longest, most boring anecdote ever written, and will put such a debuff of ennui and sadness on you all, you will walk around the rest of the day wondering why you wasted your life, and where did it all go horribly wrong?

Fast-forward: it took three clerks to go into the depths of the shop to find another HOTFB, and twenty minutes of wait time. It was worth it though -- every minute. To obtain the HOTFB for Tome, and know that she would wear it in health and hotness while walking her pups, that no one would mess with her, and that like me, wearing this helm would keep THE CRAZY IN...(did you know it did that Tome? It does.).


Tome: I knew you would appreciate it. Now don't tell Blizzard how much you like it, or they'll put it in their hat store, and everyone will want one, and we won't get anything. 


In other news: I went to a "real" raid Tuesday and Wednesday, and might go tonight, with Mataoka as a healer. I am so used to rolling my coins on gear that I accidentally rolled and won the Tortos' shield and it dropped anyway. NOOOOOOOB!

I really like it, and it's way better than LFR, and I know Allysia is being patient with me, but but but...just so much of this game I can't and don't want to do solo, and so many more things I do want to. Better go find my helm, cause the crazy is leaking....

Theme Song: Go It Alone/Beck

Drabble: Struck

Thunder: rare. Even undercooked in this forest. Its appearance, its voice, seems shy and insecure next to its western brothers. It is the youngest of the brood, nudging up against clouds, testing the raindrop waters. The house slept more deeply, more unapproachable, than she had remembered in years. Taking charge of the morning, forging on, clanging, she continued with her routine like nothing out of the ordinary took place, that the lightning illuminated a sheltered secret, and the thunder practiced scales. “I know this may not ever happen again,” she said to no one. “But once is all that’s needed.”

Sweet Shoppe

Yes, that's "shop" with the superfluous "pe" at the end to tart it up. Disclaimer, after a fashion: I realize my post On the level failed to address directly the leveling issue, but had more links to the new game store. As I sit here staring at another huge IRS bill, student loans, and other gold sinks in my real world, I'm feeling a bit weary of Blizzard taking its bite, too. I know how Bear feels. But in truth, I don't really mind them selling extra wares. It's going to take my own self-control not to condone my own shopping therapy and buy stuff. Besides, the BMAH already took care of the 'never too late to have a happy childhood' facet for most players. I just never have the gold, my own fault, but I don't. So a'grinding I shall go.

The question we fanciful bloggers ask, though, is if we could put things in the store, what would we? So by the power of three, I shall think of my wishes:

1. A way to trade weapons/gear among my alts, making them account bound. (This will solved the bag/bank/vault issue that drives me bonkers)
2. A way to truly use professions as an entertaining, accessible, and engaging way (I am looking at you spirits of harmony and haunted doo-hookies)
3. A sounvenir bag to collect things for alts, no matter what character I am on.

In other words, I want an 'alt' game, not a "main" game.

Ah, damn, this post isn't very funny or creative: I have to meet some colleagues to catch a ride into the city for a long-ass day. And I'm cranky. And I think that's the taxman on caller ID. Gotta go!






Theme song:
The Who/Bargain