Friday, July 19, 2013

Zombie chow...with mayonnaise

Navigator Meyer, HMS Kraken*

You know? I swear sometimes Tome is psychic. Just the other day I was asking the big question, "What is the nature of mistakes?"We all make them, but not all mistakes are created equal, or have similar consequences.

See Navigator Meyer up there? He's in charge of the big wheel that safely takes Alliance passengers from Stormwind to Northrend. He's done the voyage millions of times. And yet, there he is, in his Alliance blue and gold, expertly trimmed mustache and beard, and what's that? An eye patch? Somewhere along the way he and one of his eyes parted ways. Now, we're not sure if it was a Bloodsail pirate and the business end of a cutlass, or if he slipped in the kitchen on some spilled mayonnaise and fell into the dog's water dish just so. We will never know. But what we do know is something was miscalculated: either he parried when he should have dodged the end of that sword, or he should have stayed home in bed, or dammit, why oh why didn't he clean up that damn mayonnaise? (Did you know that Chileans consume the third largest amount of mayonnaise on the planet? I did not know that until I watched the Daily Show yesterday on Tivo).

A quote to ponder from one of my favorite writers, Tom Robbins: (although I think my odds are slightly better with the rattlesnake...)

“Nature is not infallible. Nature makes mistakes. That's what evolution is all about: growth by trail and error. Nature can be stupid and cruel. Oh, my, how cruel! That's okay. There's nothing wrong with Nature being dumb and ugly because it is simultaneously--paradoxically--brilliant and superb.

But to worship the natural at the exclusion of the unnatural is to practice Organic Fascism--which is what many of my pilgrims practice. And in the best tradition of fascism, they are totally intolerant of those who don't share their beliefs; thus, they foster the very kinds of antagonism and tension that lead to strife, which they, pacifists one and all, claim to abhor. To insist that a woman who paints berry juice on her lips is somehow superior to the woman who wears Revlon lipstick is sophistry; it's smug sophistical skunkshit. Lipstick is a chemical composition, so is berry juice, and they both are effective for decorating the face. If lipstick has advantages over berry juice then let us praise that part of technology that produced lipstick. The organic world is wonderful, but the inorganic isn't bad, either. The world of plastic and artifice offers its share of magical surprises.

A thing is good because it's good, not because it's natural. A thing is bad because it's bad, not because it's artificial. It's not a damn iota better to be bitten by a rattlesnake than shot by a gun.”

― Tom RobbinsEven Cowgirls Get the Blues

We all make mistakes: I know a few perfectionists. During the past week, my boss pointed over to a colleague I've worked with for years, in fact, where I lead many of our collaborative works, and she asked me if I knew this person. This person just won the "I got this award that all of you deserve too but someone decided that my shit stinks far less than yours" award. This put her in rockstar status in my boss's eyes I suppose. It's a bit galling I guess. I also have another colleague who sent me a text one afternoon not too long ago about the AWARDWINNINGROCKSTAR, to the effect she wanted to stab a pencil in her eye. Hmmmm. 

Anyway, here are some NPR/TED talks on the subject, but I like this quote:

"When we start losing our tolerance for vulnerability, uncertainty, for risk — we move away from the things we need and crave the most like joy and love and belonging, trust, empathy, creativity." — Brené Brown

So Raid Leaders, Guild Masters, bosses, and noobs: heed this post. You will be the biggest buzzkill, joy-stealer on the planet if you forget we all make mistakes: even you. Don't make me stab a pencil in your eye. OH! OH! Maybe I just solved the Navigator Meyer mystery of the missing eyeball!! 

*By the way, I had this screenshot of Nav. Meyer way before I thought of this post, because Kellda saw him and thought he was kind of dreamy, and was thinking about a narrative between them....I am so weird.

Maybe Proving Grounds is just what the doctor ordered...


  1. ROTFLMAO!!! Mayo, I need to up my mayo consumption and I'll be a super power!

    Meyer must have received the Rock Star Captain award and someone just couldn't help it. Have pencil, must stab!

    1. I am not sure how I did this, but my own writing as made me laugh hysterically. Must be losing it. And what are those Chileans putting that mayonnaise on!? I know we Yanks have a lot of potato salad and turkey sandwiches, but ....I can only imagine.

  2. Ralphie: I want an official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle!

    Mrs. Parker: No, you'll shoot your eye out.
    Red Rider Air Rifle

    - A Christmas Story

    1. Are you telling us Navigator Meyer asked for the wrong Christmas present? Or he purchased one from the toy vendor, and this is the result? This theory may hold some water...better than a sharp dog food bowl, and mishandled mayonnaise!

  3. Here is a pencil. And lucky I'm not your raid leader because I quite like my eye. I hope I'm never like that butboy, I can imagine it breaks friendships if not handled the right way.

    1. Well, I do appreciate my colleagues, and if my boss wants to look at the "rockstars" of the workplace and determine my worth by my proximity to them instead of my own merits and accomplishments (I need that Navi-spammed sticker! Then she'll know!) well not much I can do about it but do my job, do it well, and persevere.

      I didn't want to make my RL out to be the badguy - he's fine. This is squarely and clearly my own fault: I am a bad player -- I play too many alts, have a crappy running computer now, stepped on a rock, sun got in my eyes, and I'm stressed out. Not a good combo. But I do know my limitations: I just wanted others to know them too. But this is a game of masks: we all from time to time hide behind the glory we want to share in and have.

      Oh, and don't fall on pencils! LOL


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