Sunday, July 8, 2012

Dear Matty: "It's the Little Things" Edition

Dear Matty:
This may be very odd, but as I am relatively new to MMORPGs,  I'm not quite sure how to handle any silences or the flow of conversation. Sometimes I say things in Vent or Guildchat that are so dorky, and I want to make a good impression, and not bug people, but I also want them to get to know me and know I have a personality, too, even if it is nerdy. I am very used to talking to people face-to-face, and I am a master at reading body language and moods, but have lost this skill in the social gaming world. What if they all think I'm not worth spending time with, that I don't know my stuff?

Please help me,

G-Chat Genie

Dear Genie:

Ah, my dear, I think you've touched on something that we all feel from time to time. We forget two things while we are in a guild environment: 1. These are not real people 2. These are all real people. Much as been written about guild culture, climate, tone, and expectations, and I can totally relate as I too have recently joined a large guild, and I really like everyone fine. But, I too worry about my personality quirks not meshing with others, and my biggest "Get Thee to A Therapist" bugaboo is that I hate to be misunderstood. There is a set pattern to human relationships we cannot seem to extricate ourselves from: honeymoon phase: buckle down phase: disinterested or angry: resolve or separate: back to mutual admiration or dissolution.

Let me give you an example: Many years ago, Cross-Dressing Rogue started a local film festival. His intent was to bring quality films to the culturally-starved area. The local "Arts" council got a hold of it. and transformed it from a wonderful, creative, popular event to a "ladies who lunch and like plastic flowers" drama and political bullshit mess. But, one of the successes of the event was he got this young filmmaker to send his work, which is to this day, one of the best movies I have ever seen, and I still share it often: My Name Is Yu Ming. And even though the local battalion of ladies who imagine they could run a film festival with the same passion as CDR found themselves coming up short. I still have a T-shirt, and this film.

So, on a walk today was asking myself the pivotal question: "What is the worst that can happen?" as I endeavor in a new guild. The best that can happen is I meet some new friends, have fun, get crazy loot, and enjoy this avocation we call WoW. The worst that can happen is it all falls apart, they g-kick me, and then I go and gee, I don't know, read a book or hang out with my mage buddy drinking Cenarion gold from a brown paper sack next up to the washed-up mage, betting on the PvP cage matches in the sewers. Either way it's a win!

Humans + Humans = Drama < Unrealistic Expectations/Tolerance.

Oh, and this is a win:

My new little lock, Hildebruja, got a haircut today. Surprise! Her two braids swirl and twist when she mounts her horse! It is awesome!! Dwarf girl for the win, people! Who knew!?!

This tickles me to no end. So remember, indeed it is the little things, the things that irk us and make us want to punch our computer screens, like my goofy mouse issues (which another player confessed to having the same issues! Thank goodness it wasn't just me!) Or the happy little things like swirling braids of "giddy-up pony!"


  1. Anonymous9.7.12

    It's much less of an issue if you have a personality clash with someone in a big guild. I'm glad it's going well for you.

    I'm waiting for Mists though so I can at least do things...

    1. Well, it's too early to see if things will go well, or not, which I guess is kind of the point. If expectations are set ahead of time, and protocols understood, well, then at least a framework is set. I cannot tell you how many work "teams" I've been on and we start off with these "norming" conversations, and then it all falls apart because of the person or people who think the rules don't apply to them. Truth be told, I've been guilty of this myself, and when I try to reign it back in, find I can only control myself. I am having mixed feelings about the Beta/MoP - I have purposefully left it completely alone so as to be surprised, but thought to myself that I could hear it now, the guildmate who says "Don't you know X because of Y and didn't you do Z?" Can't make everyone happy, that's for sure. Barely make myself happy!

  2. The movie was wonderful, I've got to put that on my favorite list so I don't loose it.

    You're much braver than me. I prefer to skip the possibility of human drama and just go straight to sitting on the curb with my brown paper bag to avoid it.

    The swirling braids are priceless. I loved my Dwarf Paladin, got her to 45 and then changed her to Tauren and haven't played her since. Too late I found out it was the braids I loved!

    1. That was such an awesome surprise! Of course I had to tell the whole guild and I'm sure they are firmly in the "Matty is the Ultimate Dork" camp now. Oh well. I have s'mores in my camp, and bug repellent.

      I am so glad you like that film, too--thought you would! It has so many wonderful themes in it: seeking adventure, and all that that entails...

  3. I know you know what I meant but I just can't stand it ... so I don't lose it. There, I feel better.

  4. Matty delete that last reply and this one! It's a stupid comment I made

  5. Dear Navi and Readers - Navi did not say anything bad, so have no fear why her comments were deleted. She asked me to. And, I didn't want any spoilers from myself. D'oh!


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