Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Letters from Camp Packabuncha, Texas

Dearest Kellda:
Kellda, Kellda - didn't we discuss this before I left? This "send lawyers, guns, and money" theme is getting tiresome. I am not in a place where I can install a new glyph or change your talents around, so please be patient. I can, however, send along this Staff of Bonking. No, not THAT kind of bonking, (though that does relieve stress, too), but if you need to give Voidwalker a swift kick, he'll mutter something about being hungry and filling a void and you'll be all set. Relax, my dear --plenty of time to go hunt for shards upon my return.

Yours in trusting faith--

Salutations Zep:
You're very good at multitasking Miss Z- why not sweetly ask Senor if he can help clean out the guild bank? I can anticipate your concerns, but have no worries - last I heard his rogue was being chased by crocolisks in Booty Bay (something about mistaking him for a small chicken dinner) and the mage is trying out Ancient portals or some-such nonsense. Why not take this opportunity to clean out your wardrobe, and consider getting some new PvP gear so you might have a chance at those two battles you need? Anyway, don't get your mana in a twist, all will be well soon.


Dear Haanta:
Enclosed please find 20 frozen long-horn free-range fed beefsteaks and 20 lbs. of Kreuz' Market sausage, and a case of Shiner Bock.
Enjoy -
PS Don't tell the Dwarfs.

Dear Momo:
As you can see I finished your story, and gave it an ambiguous ending so now no one knows what to say. I am a sh*tty writer, but working on it. Anyway-- you and the druid in the story live almost happily ever after. You're welcome.

Meant to tell you before I left with the new leaf laws in Washington and Colorado you may become a very popular druid - be careful. The definition of 'herbalist' is changing, and I don't want you to be in the wrong zones. 

PS I caution you to stay away from both the warlock and the priest. Have you heard from the shaman recently?

Dear Ceniza:
Stay tough, girl. What dailies do not kill us only make us stronger.

And ladies, why didn't I know about this?


  1. Oh good! Almost happily ever after is about as good as it gets so I won't worry about Momo. I puzzled a long while over Shiner Bock, the word case should have been a clue but for some reason I was sure it was some type of sausage, lol. Could have been influenced by the fact that I need to go shopping but as ever I'm stalling.

    1. Texas had a large German immigration influence so beer and sausage is abundant (and awesome). That Druid is drawing me in more and more: it must be so disheartening to see the world polluted and ravaged by greed and the never ending mission to clean it up again. Kind of like battling dust bunnies!

  2. Matty didn't get a letter?
    I was worried about her spending time with those sexy Dwarfs with their fancy Zarfs!

    1. No, she didn't leave a forwarding address for the Brawler's Guild and turned off her 'find friends' app on her i-Phone. But when it comes to her and Dwarfs...well, what happens in Brawler's stays in Brawlers.


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