Tuesday, August 13, 2013

RTMT, Part II: Banned.

Ceniza found a hidden entrance to a private park...

Three things:

1. Can't stop thinking about feminist posts.
2. Must rerain from listening to the news again.
3. Figure out a way to put humanity on ice for a bit.

Damn, I really hate saying "I told you so's." I do. Skeptical? I know you are, cause I seem to love it. The other day CD Rogue said he was taking a break from listening to political news, he had just got burnt out. Really? REALLY?! And all those times I said I just couldn't have one more conversation, one more debate, over national policy blunders, missteps, and misdirection, and you accused me of apathy? Now you want to shut down for a bit? Hmm... I said good day, sir! 

But as Godmother said in her last post, [sic] "Hey, I have a blog! I can write what I want!"

Working backwards, let's start with ice block:

I am trying to recoup my boundaries. As Amy Shumer joked, she took her mother to a soccer game to show her what boundaries look like. I took a screenshot this past week from a run in LFR where a player, the tank, (so I presume that gave him some 'job security') yelled, in red, KICK THE N*****.

I said to the group, I don't run with racists, reported him (for all the good that does) and left.

Now-- I am not going to change wholesale racism. Nope. Free country, free speech and all that. Even the African-American community wrangles with this issue of racial slurs.  But nothing is solely the problem of any one race, ethnicity, or nation: it is truly, all of our problem. And for those of us who want to just play, and we are penalized for this, it's frustrating to say the least.

What bothers me greatly is - and this is big-- why do I have to get the dungeon deserter debuff when I make a moral stand? I don't expect Blizzard to 'nanny state' its players. I reported him for language, and nothing will probably happen. I get that.

But why do the assholes win in this case? Why do they get to stay, use their time well, finish, and move on, when if I choose to leave it costs me time? I know life isn't fair, but there has got to be a way to "fix" this. A 'law to serve the people," not present more obstacles. Can't there be an option where I can "kick" myself and write a reason why? There is a mature language blocker, why can't there be a racist blocker?

But...here is where it gets dicey. I don't really want that. The rabbit-hole of unintended consequences is bottomless: let's propose Blizzard screens any text for key words, like the NSA, the U.K., China, etc. Someone types a derogatory term and some bot gets a bing or ping or something and some robotic action is taken. No, thank you.

Which leads me to this: Feminism. 

Men and women, I totally, completely understand, and am on your side. I'm on my own side, so I get it.  When I reposted this video on Facebook, the comments and anecdotes it received from many of my friends saddened me. One of my best buddies, who's a long-time Anime fan, wrote she recently went into a local comic book store and the proprietor told her he didn't have any "graphic novels for girls." She's thirty. I can't even begin to unpack all that's wrong with that asshat's statement.

This topic of fairness and gender equality is never far from my thoughts. When Apple Cider Mage posted "I Can't Quite Grasp This" about an aggressive image on a WoW card, it ensnared my thinking too. There is an interesting series of Youtube videos on the feminist frequency channel.

Damsel in Distress, Part I http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6p5AZp7r_Q
Part II: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=toa_vH6xGqs
Part III: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LjImnqH_KwM

One thing that struck me for all the examples presented is most of the games seem...stupid. And I wish we could all say, "Oh, silly game designers, missing out on 50% market share!

We may never stop grappling with these issues of humanity.

May I suggest that we don't want to? We want freedom to explore our natures, our identities, and not be told to be generic, the same, the borg? In one way, it is more important perhaps to ask the "what if?" questions: What if we got rid of all potentially sexually-charged imagery? What if we made all fantasy characters the same? When solving a problem, it is important to offer the "Okay, this is wrong, but how about we do this instead?" In Apple Cider's post, she does - she shows an orc, a male, who's trapped by the vines. But what if someone enjoys a friendly game of vine-wrap? Safe word: hedgeclipper.

Spit it out, Matty: are you asking does this make it wrong for women to fantasize about either being rescued or doing the rescuing?

I'm not sure.

And now for the news...

This is the thing: we have so many examples of the pendulum swinging and then serving as an ax to chop off heads left in its wake. The newest conversation uses the term "breeders" and how young women are justifying their desire not to have children. I don't like the term "breeder," but it sounds hip and edgy I suppose. So while young women are making a stand on not having children, I am left with a few feelings: so women who do want children are somehow dumb breeders? What about women who want nothing more than to have a baby but can't, and are devastated by this?

Maybe it just comes down to this: we are all very busy about telling others what to do, or how to think. Like living with CD Rogue's righteous indignation buff, it spins me out sometimes. I am guilty of this, too. My apologies.

My questions only lead to more questions. Welcome to my brain.

In any case, no matter what, no matter where, I do fully support dialogue, exchanges of ideas, and opinions. I am so grateful to the blogging community for this.


Postcript: And sweet baby murlocs, get that game back on line before I post again!


  1. LOL! I was bereft when I found the maintenance had been extended but then saw I was saved by Matty, two new posts to read while I wait!

  2. I think my goal was to clear cut a mental path: little did I know it was verbal "slash and burn" writing time!

  3. very interesting. I am surprised that that the rest of the group didn't kick the tank out.

    But you know, I remember a time a few years ago when someone shouted in Sw general chat the n word and I went on a rampage. LOL, I was told to shut my mouth by a person that they are black and it was ok with them, so it was ok for everyone else. Posh, I proceeded to say poison words are never ok, no matter what skin color someone is. Little do people know and i will say it here - my Great Great Grandmother is Creole. In Lousiana (where I was born) I'm consider to be Black (the blood rule don't ya know), though I wasn't raised in the black culture. I consider myself "human", not white, not black.

    As far as equal gender - I am all for it, always have been. I had 3 sisters. No brothers. I have 1 daughter, no sons, 2 grand daughters, no grand sons. You expect me to accept that they shouldn't have an equal chance in life? No Sir. Gay? No problem with me. You got religion? Thats on you, none of my business. I did my best to rasie my daughter and grand-daughter that there is no difference between people, skin, sex, what have ya. But if you jump in my wife's face because she is Asian, a Christian, or my granddaughter because she is gay, you will be in the dirt, for I will be pounding your dumb butt all over the place.

    A great post Matty, really good. Rants are good for the soul.

    1. Roo, your real-life story, to me, is far more fascinating than anything Azeroth can serve up. I am honored to know you are there, in the real world, fighting the good fight. And if anyone did try that nonsense, their dumb butt more than deserves it.

  4. It's weird, the older I get, the more other people seem to think they have a stake in my reproductive organs. As a child, I wanted lots of children but as soon as I hit the age of consent, that went out of the window. I like my lifestyle, the holidays, relatively tidy house, fast cars and the freedom to basically what I want (within the limits of the law). Yet I'm constantly being asked why I don't have children, the implication being there must be something either physically or mentally wrong with me and that I'm being selfish to my family and husband by making that choice, by withholding Grandchildren, nephews, nieces, sons and daughters from them.

    I've had people turn around and tell me that I have a duty to "breed" the next generation of educated tax payers not to mention people tell me that I need a psychologist (probably true but not for the reasons they think :p)and all sorts of similar rubbish. The hardest conversation on the subject though was with a colleague who desperately wants children but doesn't seem to be able to carry a baby to term and who can't understand my view point at all (she had assumed we were having the same issue as we're both childless, married and the same age). I would imagine that if that's happening on a grand scale, that people are trying to lash back but as usual are hitting the wrong target. It's not the women who want children that are the problem, it's society for pushing the concept that we're broken if we don't. It's also quite scary as I read an article about rape recently in which one of the comments contained a link to a supposed scientific work where the authors were claiming that rape is a result of a natural urge to reproduce and since women were getting "prissy" about that..

    Also "breeders" is such a horrible term. It will always conjure up Dragon Age and those monstrous creatures giving birth to Dark Spawn to me.

    1. I totally get it--the second any member from one generation from me suggested I do anything because it was expected of me I would, and still do, balk. It's crazy. I know many women are getting pressured to do this, and the response is completely normal - to tell folks to back the flip off. I agree - we mistarget the real issue. All these issues are truly about the freedom to choose -- choose our loves, our paths, etc.: what got me during my child-bearing years were all the voices, women's voices, who judged one another so harshly about going back to work or not going back to work. For most women, including me, it wasn't an option. Guess we all can't live in Finland. I am very sorry for your friend -- that issue is heartbreaking --when you want something that 'everyone else takes for granted" - or so it seems. Here is my wish/hope/prayer: women and men are free to bring in children to this world who are wanted, loved, and cared for, or not, women have access to medical attention, because strong women make for strong nations, not the amount of children they produce.

      That rape article makes me---angry. Very, very angry. Damn we still have so far to go.

  5. Now I've got Dragon Age breeders in my head and somehow making females of the world fit that image... ugh thanks a lot Erinys :P


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