Sunday, March 25, 2012

NSFW: Under the covers...

Inspired by Red Cow Rise's homage to the other aisle of "literature" in Azeroth, I too wanted to pay tribute to the other side of the book jacket.

For the holidays, I gave a special little gnome some cologne and a Goblin's Gentleman's magazine. Sorry to say I could not afford the full year's subscription, something about free mounts and such, but couldn't do it. He says he's done reading all of the quality articles, and is not sure what to do with it now. He really likes to read. If you see a little gnome walking under a magazine tent, don't disturb him, okay? He needs his private time.*


My mom was also very cool when it came to my choice of reading materials. Not a whole lot was censored growing up, and much was explained. When I rallied cries of Erica Jong and Margaret Atwood, I was reminding a younger generation that women writers have been writing some sexually liberated and good stuff for a long time. And just like Bear's post, every new wave of folks think they invented something, including sex, drugs, and rock and roll.

Azeroth is busting at the bodice seams with sexy stuff. Many innuendos, euphemisms, and out-right red lights (Roxanne, I mean Navi, you don't have to put on the red light. Those days are over. You don't have to sell your body to the Goldshire nights!) A colleague and I have joked many times that we are going to write secret erotic novels and see if we get any takers on Kindle and retire, tout suite. Ah, the dream. Maybe someday. "Romantic" writing tends to easily veer off into "bodice buster" genres too easily, and hard to keep the stamina of a thrusting plot that doesn't leave one dissatisfied.

Was catching up on the Craig Ferguson show the other night. He's like your drunk Scottish uncle, if you had a drunk Scottish uncle. (Hey, did I ever tell you about the time I met Scottie, James Doohan, and had to take him out for cocktails? No? Another time maybe.) Anyway, Craig had author Anne Rice on, of Interview with a Vampire fame. She is a lovely woman, of a certain age, and just as charming as sweet as she can be. I believe she was promoting her new book, and all was light and fun. What Craig didn't ask her about was her  nom de plume, A.N. Roquelaure, and the Sleeping Beauty trilogy. I read this a number of years ago, and the pages are still smouldering. Anne Rice can definitely turn a phrase and has uses for leather goods that are quite creative. Just like Navi's Goldshire post, consider yourself warned. Or enticed. Or both.

Wait. Give me a minute. Is it hot in here or just my craterflame spaulders? I had a point to all this. Oh yeah. Tome and I have also joked about the interesting searches folks come up with, and in my clicking curiosity, have followed some of them down the rabbit hole, in a manner of speaking, only to need some eye-soap and prayer beads. It's not that I am a prude, not at all, but dang folks --some of your own creative content would make Ms. Rice blush, and that's saying something. But, sex is, as one of my screen heroes says, "...a natural, zesty, enterprise..."

[Maude shows the porn video starring Bunny to the Dude] 
Sherry in 'Logjammin': [on video] You must be here to fix the cable. 
Maude Lebowski: Lord. You can imagine where it goes from here. 
The Dude: He fixes the cable? 
Maude Lebowski: Don't be fatuous, Jeffrey. 

So enjoy those pulp romance novels that drop from ogre's trousers from time to time. Some things are best left to the imagination.

Lunancy has some interesting thoughts about how she could wake up the Prince...*cough*

Theme song: The Police/Roxanne

*I LOVE the Police!? Can't believe I haven't used one of their songs for a theme song until now.

*Don't you people know I make all this sh*t up?


  1. Oh, glorious! Excellent use of puns ;) I didn't know about the gentleman's mag!! I learned something today :D

    1. Thank you very much! It would have been too easy to talk about the climax of a plot, and awkward denouements...:)

  2. Just ... just, oh. First, I found the song I wanted to listen to because although I CAN'T SING at all, really, Roxanne is the only song in the world that I have to sing, badly, out loud. So while singing I read the post, so I've been singing while laughing and it isn't easy and the sound! Awful.

    If you've found things that would make the author of the Sleeping Beauty trilogy (yes, me too) blush, oh my! Where ... okay, nevermind.

  3. Put this comment on Red Cow:
    I can't believe we forgot the Wildhammer's Book of Limericks (something about being the filthiest collection ever) - will have to make a correction!


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